Disclaimer: Characters, settings, the occasional quote, etc. all belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. Any quote in italics is originally from Stephenie. I only wish I owned Jacob. ;)

Author's Note: My story starts shortly after the battle in Eclipse. It's the next morning, the morning after Bella cried for hours on end. Everyone on board? Good! Enjoy!

Chapter One:

Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me and then come back.

-Bella Swan, Eclipse

"Bella…are you sure? Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain-"

"Edward," I interrupted him. His face was filled with worry, any hurt he'd felt at my crying over Jacob was masked. "I'm sorry for that; you never should have had to witness that."

"You love him." Edward stated it simply; there was no question, just fact. He tried to hide how much that hurt him, but I could see a flicker of it in his eyes.

There was no denying that. Edward knew it, Jacob knew it, and I knew it. "I love you too," I told him. That was all I could give him—the reassurance that I also loved him. It wasn't fair, this situation I found myself in. Someone had to get hurt. "I'm sick of hurting people I love."

Hesitantly Edward wrapped me into his arms, comforting me. "I choose you and I hurt Jake. I choose Jake and I hurt you. I hate it."

"What about you, Bella?" Edward asked me, concern evident in his voice. "Losing either of us hurts you, too. That was evident last night. So…put my and Jake's feelings aside. What do you want? Did you choose right last night?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Jacob was right yesterday. He'd told me that he was the natural path my life would have taken. There was no way I could argue with that. Jacob was like my sole mate. I would have been destined to be with him…if not for Edward. Edward truly was the love of my existence. And once, I had believed that Edward was my whole life. But he left me, and when he did Jacob became almost as permanent a fixture in my life as he had been.

I vaguely remembered something Jacob had once told me. He'd said, "You could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me." Could I, though? I wasn't so sure. Could I be happy without Edward? Was that even possible? I tried to imagine it, and it was hard.

I could see both possible futures spread out in before me. Both versions of my life, both versions of me. First, I could see myself pale white and hard as stone. I could see myself fit in with my future family. I could see me and Edward, forever. But that wasn't all. I could see the flip side. I could see myself grow old. Human. I could see myself with Renee and Charlie. I could see children and grandchildren. With Jacob.

Edward was silent the whole time I was thinking. He was completely still around me. He just let me think without interruption. I broke out of my reverie. "I don't know," I finally answered in a whisper.

It was the first time I had ever remotely wavered. It was the first time I had even, truly, considered my second option. I loved Jake, but until now had never even fathomed a life without Edward. At last, slowly, I looked up at Edward. I could see that my uncertainty had affected it. He tried, even harder, to hide it but I could see it. Then he quickly gathered himself and his expression became blank. His only response to my indecision was to nod his head, but his grip on me loosened, slightly.

"I'm sorry," I told him and then put my finger to his lips when he tried to argue. "I know that if I chose Jacob I couldn't live without you. But I'm not sure that in choosing you, I can live without Jacob." That wasn't fair, I knew. It wasn't fair to either Jacob or Edward to be unable to make a choice between them. I continued before he could interrupt. "I've always been positive that as long as I had you, nothing else mattered. I could give up Jacob, Charlie, Renee, children, all of it. But…." I trailed off.

"But now you're not sure," Edward stated. I couldn't read the tone of his voice. It was flat, empty. "Jacob can give you all of it. A future that includes your parents, kids, grandkids, and growing old together. Jacob Black can give you a life." This was not the first time he had considered the possibility I knew. He could see all that I wouldn't have to give up if I chose Jacob. But could he see what I would give up? Could he see that in order to get all of that I'd have to give up the love of my entire existence?

But then…I wouldn't be giving up love entirely. I loved Jacob. Truly and completely, I loved him. But did I love him enough? Would I ever know? "I need some time," I told Edward. I had been so certain of my decision last night. It had hurt, but I had been sure it was the right one. But now…?

"Of course," Edward responded, his voice still not betraying any emotion. He let go of me and stepped away. "Would you like me to come back later?"

"Please," I said with a nod. I looked him straight in the eyes and for a quick moment I saw a flicker of hurt there. Then it was gone again. "I'm so sorry," I told him, fervently. "I love you more than you know."

Edward kissed my forehead and then quickly kissed my lips gently. "Bella, love, please put my feelings aside for once. Put Jacob's feelings aside. Choose what you want. What's best for you." With that, he was gone, out the window.

When Edward left, the floodgates burst open again. As soon as he was gone I started crying too hard to stop. I cried because I was hurting him. I cried because I was hurting Jacob. I cried because no matter what I chose I would always hurt one of them. I cried because I felt selfish. I had two options—two good options, and I couldn't just choose one.

I thought about what Edward had said before leaving. How could I put either of their feelings aside? I loved them. You can't hurt the ones you love. You just can't. And what if what I wanted wasn't what was best for me? What if I didn't know what I wanted?

I was lying there in my bed contemplating all of this when I heard a knock at my window. Edward had only left a few minutes ago. Why would he be back this soon? I sat up and saw not Edward hanging on the window sill, but Alice. She had a concerned look on her face as she opened the window and climbed in.

"Alice," I breathed, already moving towards the girl I considered a sister. When I reached her she wrapped me into a hug.

"I thought you'd need a friend," she explained. "So I came as soon as Edward came home."

"How did you…?" I began, before realization hit me. "Oh. Right. My future." I assumed the future Alice saw for me kept switching between me becoming a vampire and my future disappearing completely. That would be how she'd known.

"I know you love them both, Bella. I know this is hard. But you know they both just want you to be happy. Both of them would accept whatever choice you made, as long as you were happy."

That was the part that made it all worse, though. They just wanted me to be happy. How could I hurt them? "But Alice, what about them? How can I be happy if I'm hurting them?"

"Maybe Edward wouldn't ever get over you, Bella, but he wants what's best for you. And maybe that's a family, a future, Jacob. And if it is, then he'd accept that as long as that was what you wanted. Don't you see, Edward can't be happy unless you decide what will make you happy?" Alice was making a point, but it wasn't that easy. "As for Jacob, maybe someday he'll move on. Maybe, someday, he won't have a choice. He could accept your choice too, if Edward was your choice. Because he cares about you, and that's what caring about someone means. Wanting them to be happy."

"Choosing Edward isn't the only way I'd have to give up something," I explained. "Sure, if I choose Edward I give up my current family and the possibility of a future family. But if I choose Jacob, I give up a family too." I couldn't loose Alice, could I? What about Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle? Even Rosalie, I didn't want to give up.

"I know, Bella," Alice responded. "But all of us only want what's best for you, too. And I think you've decided what that is," she said, giving me a knowing look.

It took a moment for what Alice had said to sink in but then I looked up at her in shock. Realization once again hit me. "Alice, my future isn't flickering anymore, is it?" I asked the question hesitantly, not sure I wanted to know the answer or not.

Alice shook her head, shooting me a grim look, but said nothing.

"You can't see my future anymore?" It was when I asked this, that I truly realized I had made my choice.

"No Bella," she said, "I can't."