Dwalin probably shouldn't have been out at night getting honey. It was ridiculous. There was so much inside, but it hadn't been fresh. He'd decided that if he could face orcs then he could face Beorn's giant bees.
He hadn't expected to see Beorn in his bear form. No one had ever seen it before, and he would have been fine not seeing it. Beorn was humungous. His fur was a light brown and his yellow teeth were long and sharp.
He wished that his hands weren't covered in honey. What if he was attacked by Beorn? If his axe ended up sticking to his hands he wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight.
There seemed like no way out of this. Curse him and his specific choices in fresh food!
Beorn opened his mouth and Dwalin quickly pulled away. His breath smelled horrible and his teeth were sharp.
So sharp.
Dwalin stepped back again but accidentally tripped. He fell on his ass.
His heart raced. Beorn stared at him, brown eyes wide.
His tongue felt like it was made of rough stone.
Wait! He was licking the honey away!
Wait, he was licking the honey away?
Dwalin stared. Beorn lazily rolled his tongue over Dwalin's hands. He didn't seem angered, just continued to cover Dwalin's hands. Once it was all gone, Dwalin pulled his hands away. He wiped the warm, thick bear saliva onto his trousers.
Beorn blinked at him, quickly licked him on the face (no honey was there!), and then turned around and trotted away.
Dwalin rushed inside to the bathroom. He washed his face for an hour.
"Where were you last night, Dwalin?" Thorin asked.
Dwalin was about to answer when he heard loud footsteps behind him.
Beorn.
What would he say?
"He and I were spending some time together."
Thorin raised his eyebrow. "Doing what?"
"Let's just say that he was sticky and I was using my tongue." Beorn chuckled. "It was quite interesting, Dwalin, wasn't it?"
"Yes," Dwalin said. He slapped a smile on his face. It was better to go along with this then to admit the truth. "It was quite a night."