Disclaimer: I have nothing.
AN: This is the introduction of sorts to a longer story thats in the works. I dont know if anything will come out of it, but this story can be read as is.
I have lived a long and varied life.
When I set out upon this path, I never once dreamed that things would turn out like , fame... near universal respect--I never wanted them. I live my life the way my father thought me to. A fact which will no doubt cause a lot of confusion considering my fathers reputation. It took me a long time to see, and longer still to understand. But... my father is truly a great man.
There is a story to the story that explains the reasons to every action. To understand an action, one must learn to look forward and back. In hindsight, it is easy to see that it takes a certain amount of intellect to study under Happosai and flourish. It takes a greater amount of planning and strategy to get one over the old master. Despite what intellectual Neanderthals like Akane may like to think, the master is clever and very wise. There is a reason why Cologne, one of the most esteemed matriarchs of the Amazons, was content to let him be. It wasn't like the master made an effort to hide his past with the amazons. He flaunted his plundering of Amazon treasures. He used his stolen knowledge and treasures in Colognes face. The fact is, generations of Amazon warriors have tried and failed to bring him to justice--Cologne included.
If the consequence of those failures were more widely known, Shampoo would be calling Happosai "Grandfather".
But, I digress; I believe I was talking about my father. Its all his fault!--but i mean that in a very nice way.
*****
Before I got around to understanding my father, I have always wondered how he got a woman like my mother.
My mother was a traditional practitioner of the art, she came from a good family. She had wealth, charisma, looks, and many other things I thought my father didn't have. I imagined myself in my father's place. I imagined myself thinking how lucky I would have been to get a woman like my mother. I dreamed that I would have been always by her side, would love her, cherish her, and never let another man get close to her. I wouldn't leave her alone for close to 10 years.
It wasn't until many years later, until I understood.
Life is suffering. The results of actions, even those done with the best intentions, can go bad. Human nature can be unpredictable at best.
Marriage was more than being husband and wife, it was about family. Despite my parents love for each other, I needed to be taken away. Duty before self.
Love wasnt about passion, it was about trust. My parents loved each other enough to let go. They loved each other enough to wait. Years of separation didn't change that.
In the end, I have become my father. Somewhat. I may not share in the more... colorful aspects of his personality, but I realize that there is more to life than my passions and wants. Life is a balance between duty and family. I do not like the fact that I have to be away from my family for months at a time, but I accept that it is a necessary duty. I agonized for the necessity of taking my son from his mother, from being away from my wife, but it had to be done.
Fortunately, Tsuruko is a sensible woman. A lot like my mother, now that I think about it. It was a small comfort for me to know that she was there for Tsuruko on those years that I was gone.
*****
It took many years for me to get over my childhood, to understand and accept why things turned out the way it did. It took longer still for me to fully forgive my father for it. Understanding is one thing, but forgiveness--total forgiveness, is another matter entirely. Understanding is about looking at the circumstances and figuring out why certain actions needed to be done. It's a logical process where emotions rarely come into play. Forgiveness is an emotional process, illogical and impossible to predict. My father knew and accepted that.
When it was time for me to take my son out on a training trip, I felt like things had finally gone full circle. My transformation was complete. I had totally become my father.
I remember wondering what my relationship with my son would be like when this was done. Would I make the same mistakes my father did? Would my son grow to resent me? Could I even hope for forgiveness a few years down the line? I worried about Tsuruko and what the future would bring. That first day out was one of the most painful moments of my life, and distance didn't help with the pain.
When my son and I made camp for the night, I stayed up for a long time watching my son sleep. It short time later, when my despair reached its highest point, that my father appeared all of a sudden. Seeing him there, at one of the lowest points my life, opened the floodgates of emotion that I have been keeping for most of the day. In the middle of my babbling, I had a moment of clarity. He understood. Forgiveness came after that.
I do not recall how I managed to get to sleep that night. I woke up the next day to the sound of my father's footsteps. I realized that he had his pack with him.
When my son awoke and found his grandfather in the camp... well, his smile reassured me that things would be alright.
*****
Unlike my trip with my father, it didn't take us 10 years to get home.
Three years after the start of our journey, we made our way towards Tokyo. Tsuruko would be meeting us there before we went back to Kyoto.
It was time for Motoko to meet the nephew she never knew.