Love Hurts

Summary: Haunted by Lord Sesshomaru's memory. Rin wonders if she will ever see him again. One night, he makes his valiant appearance once more.

Warnings: Probably not canon. I still haven't finished watching the series. Just wrote this. I know its crap and short, but give it a try.

It has been years sins Rin's departure from Sesshomaru's side. Years since the lasts time she saw that fair complexion and sometimes she regrets she ever did leave. By his side she had felt safe but she had known even at her young age that that was no home for her. But still, she'd lay night after night by Kohaku's side wondering about him. Wanting to see that handsome face one more time before she ran dry her mortal days. She wanted to feel that cheer she always got as a kid when Sesshomaru would make his appearance again though she knew that that kind of innocence came only once in a life time.

She had settled fine these last couple of year, better than she had ever imagined her life to be without Lord Sesshomaru. Kohaku had built them a home close to a peaceful town and they had there own field. They could grow anything they wanted there.

"Anything, Rin. We can finally be happy," Kohaku had said their first day as common farmers.

Rin had smiled back at him and watched him run off into the field jumping and spinning, and making cartwheel into the air. Was this her life now? Was this her happy ending?

"C'mon, Rin," he yelled from his far distance and she could see him waving a hand to her with a happiness she wasn't sure she could share. But his came from the bottom of his soul, she could see how the end of his slavery brought to him this childishness she wished she still had. And he deserved it more than anybody. Through his eyes he was free and Rin knew that together they would build a life. Together they'd find a way and as these thought came so did an image of Sesshomaru. He never so much as showed her a smile, never let her see any side of him that wasn't his armor, never let her near… but he didn't have to. She had known how he felt about her. Didn't she? "Rin!"

Rin suddenly found herself running to him, to Kohaku. She leaped into his arms and planted a kiss on his lips and it might have been the surprise of it all because Kohaku's knees had given out and they were rolling on the grass for a long time. And she knew then that she had to find a way to forget about Lord Sesshomaru no matter how painful the thought.

They had bought seeds the following day from the town neighboring them and spent the rest of the day planting until the sun went down. Things had changed that day. As soon as night came both Rin and Kohaku fell exhausted, too tired to even move. They giggled at the purity of the feeling, strung out on fatigue. The exhaustion must have been high because Kohaku said something she'd never forget.

"I love you, Rin."

All fell silent after. Rin was left speechless and her laughter had ceased. After a couple of minutes Rin suspected that Kohaku had fallen asleep or at least wished it.

Neither Kohaku nor she had brought it up the following day but Kohaku had seemed more distant. She didn't complain, after that she needed room to think. Was this what she wanted for herself? Was Kohaku the answer? She saw him working the field from the front of their little house. He worked hard… for them. Where was her input? It was a lonely life, both her and Kohaku had suffered through that before. He had needed her last nigh and she had pushed him away. She had felt sorry but if the night would replay again knowing the consequence she was sure it would have played out the same. She wasn't ready to recepricate those words back to him. Not when she wasn't sure if she meant it, not if she wasn't sure if she'll see Sesshomaru ever again. But she had to find a way to make it up to Kohaku. Let him know he wasn't alone.

That night, she had treated Kohaku to something more intimate. Something to fill the gap between them. She never imagine her first to be with him but the night was beautiful and she couldn't help wonder what Sesshomaru was doing at that very second.

…

Even though she had found a way to repel Sesshomaru from her mind during the day he always came to her at night like a ghost. Sometimes she'd imagine him standing at her door watching her sleep. She'd pretend that she visit him just to see how she was doing and she'd pretend to be in slumber all the while Master Jaken mutters quietly to their Lord, "Why do you come here every night, my Lord? Does this retched child still mean something to you? She left you, my Lord, she left us."

Sesshomaru's eyes would hold that hard glare he'd reserve for his opponents but those amber eyes would be directed to her. His beautiful, godly features held emotionless as cold as ice, he'd say nothing… he didn't need to. She'd know what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru. Please forgive me," She'd want to say to him but the words would get stuck behind the knot in her throat and she could see him walking away, into the dark of the night, until he was nothing. She could feel her chest falling through her cavity. The pain so real. Why did she ever do that to him? How could she do that to him? "Lord Sesshomaru…"

"Rin, Rin," She was being shaken awake. Her eyes would part and she'd feel the pillow under her cheek soaked… soaked?"

"Kohaku?" she'd ask confused.

"Rin, you were crying in your sleep again. Are you okay? Is there something I can do?" He'd say and she'd look into his dark brown eyes and she could see something there that she wished she couldn't. He looked hurt, as if a knife had been stabbed into his chest. Had she been the one to do that?

Kohaku pinched the sheets and brought them to Rin's eyes and began wiping at her tears with tenderness but with his touch came also more tears. She grabbed on to his hand and held it close to her knowing the patience Kohaku had to possess to stay by her after every night she awakens him calling out someone else's name. She didn't deserve him and yet he was there wiping her tears away as if it didn't affect him. Kohaku brought her into his embrace doing his best to comfort her but she began to shake, her shoulder trembled while small whimpers escaped her. She missed him so much.

TBC…

Please review. IMMABEGGIN!