You could be my unintended,
Choice to live my life extended,
You could be the one I'll always love.
You could be the one who listens,
To my deepest inquisitions,
You could be the one I'll always love.
Unintended/ Muse
Bella's POV:
Once again the dream had awakened me with a jolt. I sat upright in my bed, turned the lights on, and contemplated the meaning of the thoughts and images that floated through my subconscious.
This particular dream that was plaguing me was not the same one I had weeks before- of the vampire and the wolf, with me caught in the middle. No. In fact this was not a scary dream at all. It was a dream filled with wonderment and wild abandon.
I was in the meadow with Edward again and everything in the world- my world- seemed right, perfect. I was at peace, but more importantly I felt…loved. A feeling I had never felt before- not to this extreme. And I loved in return just as wholly and completely, giving my heart up fully to him.
We had lain next to each other, gazing into each other's eyes, for what seemed like an eternity, until I finally had the courage to reach my hand out and touch his face. His beautiful face, made of porcelain skin, heavy dark eyelashes over his golden eyes, his pink full lips. Why did he have to be so beautiful and me so…plain?
My fingers traced the outlines of his forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, and finally his lips. He took my hand into his at once and sat up swiftly. He put my hand onto his cool, marble lips. Oh, what a feeling! He could have killed me right then and there and I would have died the happiest woman on Earth.
He looked up at me and leaned in closer. So close. His icy breath exhaled onto my face. I was sure I was in Heaven. Had I died already? Was this my eternal reward? Then his cool marble lips, pressed firmly onto mine….and I awoke.
But why? Was I afraid? No. That was not it. I was most certainly not afraid of Edward. Not now, not ever. What then? Why would my mind not allow me such an undeniable pleasure? It was surely what I wanted, every day we were together. That was it! I wanted it to happen in real life, not in a dream. I sighed to myself. Great.
Finally my weariness took over once again, and I knew I should try to get back to sleep. I lay back down, still contemplating my new revelation regarding Edward.
Whether or not sleep was attainable, I finally shut off my lights and closed my eyes. I should have known it was a hopeless cause because my mind wandered. I thought of all the times I'd seen Edward in school, sat next to him in biology, in his car, in the meadow, all the while wanting so badly to kiss him, but being overly cautious of his reactions.
As I remembered these moments and sifted through these thoughts, I heard the wind pick up outside. That's funny. It was such a stiff, dry night, especially for Forks. I glanced towards my open window and saw my curtain flutter twice, and then stop. All was still. I suddenly had a feeling I was not alone.
But again, I was not afraid. I slowly, methodically, picked my head up and glanced straight out to the foot of my bed. And there he stood- like a statue, with a look of fascination and adoration on his face. My heart swelled again with this new love I had not known existed until now.
Edward's POV:
She was beautiful- this angelic, human creature, that somehow I was meant to watch over, to protect. The moment her eyes met mine in the darkness it felt as though all my defenses had been knocked down, destroyed, obliterated. Could a cold, dead heart beat once again? It felt like mine was about to.
Of course I had planned it this way. I knew I could not keep the secret of me visiting her much longer. She had a way of finding things out, knowing things. I'd rather have her know everything. I wanted to touch her, hold her, talk to her…I wanted her to know I was here.
We stared at each other for what seemed like a century- I would know. For a second I feared she might scream, bring Chief Swan running in here. By then I'd be long gone of course.
"Edward? Oh Edward, I'm so glad you're here!" her voice was like a symphony. The ice in my chest began to melt, if only for now.
"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to intrude like this." I felt the need to apologize. I was, after all, climbing through the girl's bedroom window in the middle of the night.
"Is everything alright?" Suddenly she seemed alarmed. Her heart rate accelerated. It was as though she feared I came to bring her bad news.
"Yes Bella, everything is fine." I realized she might not need an explanation, but she'd be curious nonetheless. "I just like to…watch over you." A wide smile spread across her face, her cheeks flushed. Again, the ice melted.
"Please come closer Edward, I can barely see you." I was hesitant at first. Was this wise? But I was so overcome with joy and love for this beautiful, wonderful creature before me that I gladly accepted and walked over to the side of her bed. Her scent hit me then at once. Fire in the throat, but not as rough as before. I could take it now. I would take it now. The pain I felt now I took on gladly, just to have these moments with her, to see her safe and happy.
She sat up straight and motioned for me to sit across from her on the bed. I did so without question. I wanted to be as close as possible, no matter how much it hurt. For who knew how long I'd have until I was forced to leave her?
"You like to watch over me? How often do you come here?" Her question was purely innocent and filled with curiosity. Joy was written all over her blushed face. She was not afraid. She didn't care that I basically broke into her bedroom in the middle of the night just to stare at her while she slept. Like a stalker. Like a crazy vampire stalker. Again, I briefly questioned her sanity, but decided it didn't matter. It doesn't matter.
"Every night." I admitted. I waited for it. For the horrified expression, for the screams, but they never came.
"Edward, why didn't you wake me up? I would have wanted to see you!" Was she for real? Again, she amazed me.
"I didn't want to scare you Bella. And besides, you talked in your sleep- it was quite entertaining." I smiled at her in a teasing fashion. She blushed again, a hundred different shades of crimson. Her heart rate skyrocketed. "Oh please, don't be embarrassed love."
"What did I say?" Oh no. Why did I walk myself into this?
"You spoke of home, your Mother, Forks…and me." She stared at me- beckoning me to continue. "You said my name a couple times…and then you said you loved me."
She threw her hands in front of her face. "Ohhh why why!" Quite the drama queen when she wanted to be.
I gently took her hands away from her face and put them into mine. I had forgotten the difference in temperature between us until I felt the heat of her skin. She must have felt the coldness of my hands, and yet she did not pull away. "Please Bella love, don't be embarrassed. If I could dream at all it would be about you, and I'm not ashamed of it."
Her face picked up from looking down at our hands to looking into my face. She was so beautiful, angelic, and delicate. I traced the outline of her face with my eyes. I wanted her so badly….in a new way. A different foreign way I was not used to. Could I try it? Would I end up hurting her? Would she be horrified by my cold skin and lips and shrink away? I didn't know if I could take that. It seemed as though she may have been thinking the same thoughts. She looked into my eyes, took a deep breath. I wanted this, I wanted it badly.
"Bella" I whispered. She answered me by moving an inch closer. I put my hand on her shoulder and gently touched her skin. She did not flinch; instead she closed her eyes and seemed to revel in it. She opened her eyes and stared directly at my lips. I could not help but stare back at hers.
"There's just one thing I'd like to try." I could barely get the words out before she was leaning into me.
Bella's POV:
Our foreheads touched and our breath passed between each other. Hot and cold, fire and Ice. It was going to happen. Had I not just awoken from a dream before, I would swear to myself I was asleep.
Slowly, his cool marble lips pressed against mine.
It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Electric shocks flowed through my body. I could smell him; taste him, like never before. I wanted to savor this moment. I wanted to become a statue, just like Edward and stay locked like this- connected to him forever.
His tongue began to explore my mouth and it was heavenly. I felt things in places I had never felt before. Where were these responses coming from? I felt the want, the need within him. He softly, touched his hand to my face. It nearly sent me over the edge. Somehow, we were making our way backwards. I was falling back onto the bed. Edward on top of me as our kiss deepened.
It was as though my body had been taken over by an external force. I was no longer my own person. My want and need for Edward was so great it overshadowed everything else, and it felt to me like he was having the same reaction. This went on for quite a while, as our kiss got deeper, and hungrier. We both wanted more.
It was Edward who stopped. He slowly backed out of the kiss, but did not leave me. Instead he lay next to me on the bed. He kissed my forehead, my nose, and my cheek and then stared deeply into my eyes.
"I'm sorry love; we can't go any farther tonight. I think we've both had enough." It looked as though it pained him to say such a thing, and it pained me to hear it, but yet, he was still here, with me. He did not take off, like some human guy would.
"Oh, Edward." Was all I could say. My eyes teared up. Regardless of the outcome, tonight was a milestone. I was overcome with joy. Edward did want to be with me, but he wanted me to be safe. I knew it would take a while, but my dream- my literal dream, had come true.
"Shh, don't cry love. I hate to see you in pain. I'm so sorry." Edward was distraught at my sudden burst of emotion. He wiped my tears away with his cool finger. He kissed my eyelids once more.
"Edward, I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because I'm happy." I watched him as he took that in, then he smiled my favorite crooked smile.
"Can I stay a little while longer Bella?" Like he needed to ask.
"Stay forever."