Constant Craving

Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Defiance or any of its characters.

Her head was heavy on his shoulder. The smell of scotch was heavy in the air. Between the four of them they had drunk enough to put down a small horse. But underneath the alcohol he could smell the sweet petals of her hair.

Gordon lifted his head from reading 'The Bravery Nine', "Ok, is Alabama still there?"

"It's not a state anymore, but yeah it's still there," Amanda replied.

"So I can go there?" Gordon asked hopefully.

"Well it takes a bit longer to get anywhere these days. No more planes," Nolan supplied, slurring slightly.

Rafe interrupted to kindly point out that he had resources and could possibly help find Gordon's wife, if she was still alive.

Gordon, referring back to Nolan's earlier comment, asked why no one travelled by plane anymore, and Nolan responded, "Radiation and debris."

Amanda lifted her head and added, "Trying to get more than 400 feet off the ground is pure suicide."

Nolan felt warmth flow through his entire body at the sound of her tired voice, which had turned husky from the scotch. He manoeuvred his arm on top of the couch to get into a more comfortable position, although from a different perspective he could have been putting his arm around Amanda. She didn't seem to mind, just collapsed back into the couch, and by default, back into his body.

Nolan relished the feel of her weight and warmth. He was light headed and had a strange feeling that if Gordon and Rafe were to suddenly leave the room, he would have no trouble pinning the Mayor down and having his wicked way with her.

Nolan was barely aware of the continuing conversation going on around him and only came to attention when he saw Rafe offering him a refill. He denied Amanda the same courtesy, and told her that she had had enough already.

Silently he agreed, but also wondered if the addition of more alcohol would loosen her up even more. She was already laying practically on top of him, and if she had more, he contemplated to what extent would she continue her dangerously close contact.

Nolan's imaginary images continued as he pictured Amanda abandoning her glass and crawling on top of him completely, straddling him. Her hands travelled up his chest and wrapped sensually around his shoulders. His own hands came to a rest on her hips and softly caressed her waist, teasing her.

Imaginary Amanda leaned down and pressed small, hot kisses to his neck. He returned the favour by gently biting her ear. She moaned and pressed into him more earnestly.

Real Amanda brought him out of his fantasy world by accidentally elbowing him in the ribs. It looked like she was trying to get more comfortable, though to Nolan it looked like she was contorting herself even more in the process. He placed his glass on the side table, away from the danger of being spilled from Amanda, who was still squirming into position. She finally seemed to find a suitable position, which included the entire right side of her body in contact with his. Sighing contentedly, she polished off her drink and returned her attention to Gordon, who was still thinking about finding his wife and still trying to adjust to the strange world he had awoken to.

Nolan watched her profile and noticed the subtle changes in her facial expressions as Gordon was talking. Happiness, sadness, empathy, nostalgia, all passed across her face within the space of a minute. He thought about what her expression might be if he tilted his head and kissed her neck just behind her ear. He was on the verge of finding out when Rafe announced he was retiring to bed. He had already ordered Nolan and Amanda to stay the night, and offered to take Gordon to Luke's old room.

The two men left the room, leaving the drunk Mayor and drunk Lawkeeper on their own.

"Do you think he'll find his wife after all this time?" Amanda asked quietly.

"Maybe… But what's the chance she's never gotten remarried or had kids? Wouldn't that put a kink in their happy reunion?" Nolan questioned.

"I don't think it would really matter. He just wants to be with her… any way he can. Just to know that she is alive." Amanda replied, "I guess I can relate."

She said the last part so quietly he didn't quite catch it, but didn't ask her to repeat it. "Did you want a refill? I'm not quite ready to sleep yet," Nolan offered.

She nodded her head and handed her glass to him. Rafe had clearly attempted to hide the alcohol from them by placing half a dozen photo frames in front of the bottle. He probably thought they were alcoholics. They probably were.

He tried to cool his increasingly lustful thoughts by sitting down on one of the other couches. It was cold from the night air and he immediately found himself missing the warmth of the other couch - the warmth of Amanda. She, on the other hand, utilised the empty space and reclined completely, her whole body now on display for him.

He gazed at her lean form, letting his eyes roam back and forth.

"It's cold now," she complained, her words stringing together, "Did you have to move?"

He tried desperately to think of an excuse, "I thought you might want some more space."

"Come back," she pleaded, so out of character it was impossible for him to deny her.

Nolan's heart rate shot up to near dangerous levels, adrenal fluid coursed through his veins. He stumbled over to where she was laying and gently placed her in a sitting position. He took her previous position and pulled her on top of him as he reclined.

"Happy?" he asked her, his mouth only inches from her ear.

Her hands tightened around his torso, "Very."

His control was wavering further - he was so close to tossing reason out the window and devouring her until the morning sun. Her breathing had evened out, her ribcage expanding with every breath. Her leg brushed against his, almost deliberately, her hand caressing his torso.

Nolan didn't want to return the contact, but she was becoming more irresistible with every touch and caress. He tried to run through the reasons why he shouldn't do what he was about to. A million reasons appeared to warn him against it, but soon those reasons became obsolete.

He angled her chin towards his face and claimed her lips with an almost animalistic fervour. She signed into his mouth as if that was what she was waiting for all night long and fisted his shirt tightly as they opened their mouths to each other. Nolan gripped her hips tightly, bruises forming underneath the skin, as Amanda ground into him wantonly. He pulled her shirt free of her pants and caressed the smooth skin of her back, scraping his blunt nails back and forth, drawing a moan from her throat. His lips moved to her jaw as her hands ran through his hair, pulling at the strands when Nolan found a particularly sensitive spot beneath her ear.

He began subconsciously comparing her to her sister. Kenya, though an amazing lover, had a practiced manner about her actions in the bedroom. No doubt unintentionally, but it was there nonetheless. Amanda was raw. She behaved in such a primal manner that was so different to Kenya. He admired Kenya's skill, but decided Amanda had a distinct advantage. Something Amanda succinctly reminded him of by pulling her lips away from his and biting his neck. It wasn't gentle and she made no apologies for it.

Nolan had had enough of Amanda controlling the situation and flipped them so he was on top. He assaulted her neck with hot kisses as her hands tried to find the buttons to his shirt. Her actions were clumsy, the buttons presenting a problem in her inebriated state. They paused as Amanda became increasingly frustrated with the damn buttons, her eyebrow furrowed in concentration.

This provided the moment Nolan needed to realise that it was definitely not the best time or place for them to all over each other. He pulled back, completely missing the sound of protest that fell out of Amanda's rosy mouth.

"Amanda… We shouldn't do this," he managed to get out through the haze of intoxication and lust.

"Why not?"

"I…"

Amanda looked at him through heavy lidded eyes and he realised she was about to fall asleep. Nolan gathered her in his arms and held her to him as he laid back down on the couch. "Let's just sleep. Ok. We'll talk about it in the morning."

She huddled closer to him, seemingly in agreement. Nolan knew he shouldn't stay, but sleep came over him quicker than expected. He waited until he was sure she was sleeping before he let himself close his eyes.

The light of early dawn crept in the McCawley household, highlighting the sleeping silhouettes of two people entwined.

Nolan was the first to wake. He was disorientated and most definitely hung over. The sleeping figure in his arms was still dead to the world, and he intended to keep it that way until he was clear of the room.

She probably wouldn't remember much of what happened. He hoped she wouldn't, and if she did he could pass it off as a dream. He extricated himself without disturbing her and placed a blanket over her. He took one last look at her before creeping off to his designated bed upstairs. He wished that he didn't remember the events of the night before either. He was sure that the temptation to touch Amanda whenever they were in the same room would continue to grow, taunting him, until he owned up to what they had done.