C.A.P.T.A.I.N - O.U.T.S.T.A.N.D.I.N.G
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- Blue Flower
Pairing:- Sandra/Gerry
Rating:- T (to be safe)
Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/
Summary:- I know my soul, my heart, my world is forever his, my very own captain outstanding the superhero who saved me and continues to save me in little ways every day.
Author's Note:- Mnemonicbased around Gerry's undercover nickname very fluffy not very long but fun I hope.
Cuddling closer to him on the sofa I smile as the old 80's superman movie plays on the screen. I've spent most of the evening teasing him since Steve told us all about his interesting nickname. He's taken it all on the chin though and now that we're alone the desire to tease has left me completely.
All the times we've spent secretly together, our relationship the best kept secret either of us has ever had but the possible complications of it becoming public making it necessary. He is my world, the centre of my universe in a way I never really believed anyone would be. He's changed me, made me a better person, made me want to let someone in like no one has before.
People think he's some sort of flash womanising cockney who wouldn't know fidelity or sensitivity if it bit him in the ass but they don't see what I see. They don't see the tenderness, the carem the loving way he makes my days complete,
Tonight, cuddled close to him I'm reminded how empty my life was before him. I used to convince myself that I was happy, that I had the life I'd chosen and it was all I needed. I managed to convince a lot of people even myself on some days but now I know how wrong I was and that's all down to him.
"Are you going to spend all evening staring at me or are you going to watch some of the film?" He's teasing me now the cheeky smile on his face melting my heart as it always does. God I love this man so much it scares me at times.
"I can look at you if I want besides you are nicer to look at than a load of people running around pretending the world is about to end." Now he's distracted too and I don't mind one but I'd rather he paid attention to me than the film anyway.
Tonight I don't want him to think about or focus on anything but me. I want to remind him how much I love him and just how "outstanding" I know he is.
"Ok well how about we turn the TV off then and that way I can spend the evening looking at you too?" The edge to his gaze has changed dramatically and my heart rate has doubled with that single glance.
Until him no one has ever been able to affect me so completely and so quickly as he can. A single touch from him, a single lingering glance, or a whispered word is all it takes to make me desperate for him.
"Turn it off it really was terrible anyway that's the last time I let you chose." He has absolutely no taste where movies are concerned and I'm constantly saying he won't get picking again but I've never been able to refuse him anything and that includes movie choices.
"Sandra I love you and I know how hard it's been for you since Jack left I'm really proud of you and the way you've coped. You still surprise me each day you realise that don't you?" He can see ight through me at times, I try to set aside the way I feel about Jack's sudden departure and to most people I'm doing a pretty good job of hiding the pain it still causes me but he's never fooled.
"Thank you honey but I couldn't have got through it without you I suppose for a while I always thought he was coming back you know like he did after the Hanson case when he needed to clear his head. He's not coming back this time though is he?"
"All I can tell you is that I've stopped believing he's going to walk through the door, We all missing him Sandra he might have been a grumpy old git but he was our grumpy old git." I love how he says what he needed to but doesn't try to "fix" things for me, he gives me the space to work through things through for myself with the knowledge that he's there for me when I need him.
No one can explain how losing Jack has made me feel, no one can understand, he was my link to the past, my past, my father's life, the link that seemed to hold it all together, Sometimes even now it feels like the key stone has been pulled from the arch of my life and if it weren't for Gerry it would have tumbled around me.
"Do you know how much I love you, how hard it would be for me to imagine my life without you?" Sometimes I need to say it even though I know he knows ad he hasn't answered me instead he's pulled me into his arms and is kissing me hungrily.
I love how he makes me feel and right now I'm more than willing to give up to that intoxicating freedom that knowing he wants nothing from me but what I'm prepared to give. He won't try to talk me into sharing more than I want to or talk about things I find painful. He only want me, whatever I may be today and will want me even more tomorrow no matter how much I try to hide.
Now as he makes love to me, the world outside this moment irrelevant I feel like nothing can ever truly be wrong when being with feels this right.
Giving up I know my soul, my heart, my world is forever his, my very own Captain Outstanding the superhero who saved me and continues to save me in little ways every day.