A/N: Hello, everybody! So, I've recently been drowning myself in music lately, and I came across a song that I thought was PERFECT to base a fic off of (seriously, listen to it after you're done reading, haha) & since I've been so terrible, and neglecting my Steroline fans, I wrote this one for you guys! It'll be just a one shot set after 3x09. I hope you all like it. :) Review & Enjoy!

Arms

"How many times will you let me change my mind, and turn around?

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life, or if I'll drown,"

- Christina Perri

Caroline dropped her pocketbook on her dresser, and sighed as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror.

Her golden hair still fell the same and her blue eyes still glowed like sapphires.

It was her 18th birthday- and though she told herself this was the day she always dreamed of, she couldn't help but still feel down- even after all her friends had done for her tonight.

Eighteen, the birthday she always dreamed about, was supposed to be special. It was supposed to mean something- she was supposed to care.

But sadly enough- she didn't. All of the birthday cake in the world couldn't help her come to terms with the fact that she was always going to be a vampire, and she would never have a real birthday, ever again.

At least not one that mattered.

She was seventeen. She would be seventeen for an eternity.

And as if she weren't feeling pathetic enough about her non-life, it didn't help that she and Tyler were on the outs, because of his sire servedom to Klaus. To put it simply, they were over.

Life sucked. Afterlife was even worse.

Everything was falling apart. Klaus was after them, again, Tyler was his lackey, Jeremy and Bonnie were growing further apart, Matt was still being weird, and Damon and Elena... she didn't even want to get into that.

But the thing that upset her the most didn't have to do with any of them.

No.

In this moment, the first thing on her mind should have been how they were going to combat the immortal hybrid, and stop him from killing them off, one by one.

But it wasn't.

Her mind was on him- Stefan Salvatore.

She sighed when she realized how pathetic that was. For one, Stefan hadn't as so much said a word to her when he returned. He also hadn't said a word when he left. It made Caroline sad when she realized how badly their friendship had crumbled. And now, they had no idea where Stefan was, post-Operation Kill Klaus Gone Awry, and she was worried.

Klaus sent a warning, via Tyler, letting them know that they were all in danger, thanks to Stefan, himself. Damon was frustrated. Elena was tired. Bonnie freaked out. Alaric began planning.

But Caroline? She didn't know what to think.

Stefan was important- she considered him her best friend at some point; he saved her from herself, and she couldn't have been more thankful that he didn't give up on her, in her darkest days.

Would he ever, so selfishly, put them in danger, just to get revenge on Klaus?

He was compassionate, strong, and selfless- everything she wished she could be. So, naturally, it hurt her when she even imagined the possibility of him being hurt.

Not to mention, watching Elena and Damon tip-toe around whatever they were doing upset her. Stefan, even in all his Ripper glory, deserved much better than that. He was always better than the things he put up with, and went through, to save everybody else's lives.

Why were they so quick to give up on him? She would never give up on him.

Caroline let out a long sigh as she kicked off her heels and unzipped the back of her blue dress that she wore tonight.

She might have looked pretty, but she felt like hell.

Caroline pulled on her soft pajama pants, and a plain tank top before she ruffled her fingers through her blonde curls to loosen them up.

She needed sleep. The dark under eye circles that she so cleverly masked with makeup proved this.

After washing up, she returned to her room, plopping down heavily in her bed.

Suddenly, her phone rang.

Caroline's eyebrow rose as she sat up, listening to the gentle tone playing from her phone, and she contemplated letting it go to voicemail. She was way too tired to gossip with Elena about her latest "situation" with Damon, and far too annoyed to listen to anymore of Bonnie's sulking about Jeremy.

And if it were Tyler? She didn't even want to pretend to be his friend right now.

He wisely declined on showing up to her birthday celebration, and she couldn't have been happier. Never, was she dating a fucking hybrid, ever again.

But against her better judgement, she hopped out of bed, and walked over to her dresser to retrieve her phone.

She just had to know who was calling, afterall. Unluckily enough, the screen read "Unknown," causing a groan to emit from her lips.

Seriously- who called unknown anymore? If you were that much of a wimp, you didn't deserve for your call to be answered, Caroline thought.

It was probably Tyler, then.

So, fuck that- she definitely wasn't taking this one.

Caroline tossed her phone on the night table, hopped back into her bed, turning off her lamp, and pulling her comforter up to her chest. She let out a long breath and shut her eyes, trying to steady her uneasy thoughts, though her mind was racing at a mile a minute.

She pursed her lips together, fighting back tears of frustration, and clutched her pillow a bit tighter.

What the hell was she still living for?

Tonight was the breaking point, in Caroline's eyes, when she thought about her future. She'd never felt so empty as she did today, even with so many people around her.

She was the optimistic one- the one who did the cheering up, threw the parties, and pulled people out of their funks. She'd survived Katherine's games, being kidnapped by werewolves, almost being sacraficed on an alter for Klaus' ritual, and her Dad's twisted version of Vampire Rehab.

Normally, people had issues when it came to coming to terms with the fact that they were growing older. The common person feared death. This was no longer Caroline's problem. She, in fact, feared that she was going to live forever. What was seen as a gift by some was only a curse, in her opinion. After having survived so many things that could have ended her, she saw this as her greatest fear.

Why couldn't she shake the feeling of never growing old?

Before she could contemplate the question, her phone buzzed, making her tiredly open her eyes, and take it into her hands.

The screen illuminated with a text message, and she carefully read the words displayed before her, sent from an unknown number.

Open your window.

Caroline instantly went white in the face, and her fingers gripped the phone even tighter as she sat up, and gazed at the lone window in her bedoom. The moon was shining through it, effortlessly, and normally this sight calmed her.

But tonight, it didn't.

In fact, her breath got caught in her throat when her eyes registered what resembled the shadow of a someone standing right outside of it.

Her phone buzzed again, and she nervously looked at it.

If you don't open it, I will.

Caroline let out a deep breath, and slowly climbed out of bed, and she raced for her bedroom door.

She pulled the knob as hard as she could, but it didn't budge; she was locked in.

The panic in her stomach rose as she spun back around, and saw the outline of the figure still standing in her window. She instinctively broke off a staggered piece of wood from her favorite chair, and clutched it in her hands, as she neared them.

If she was going to stalked by a crazed, psycho texter, she might as well be prepared.

Caroline cursed her eyesight when she failed at making out the dark figure standing in the shadows, and said a tiny prayer before firmly placing a hand on the window, and pushing it open.

She quickly rose the stake in her hand, only to have her wrist halted by a much stronger entity.

Caroline groaned in pain, and the mysterious stranger let her go, seemingly entering her room, in a vampire flash. It was still too dark to see their face, but she felt the strong presence of her visitor- she also felt their eyes burning holes right through her.

Caroline raced to her light switch, and flicked it on- if she were going to die, she'd at least like to know who her assailant was.

When the light infiltrated the room, her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when his emerald green eyes met hers, and his mouth formed into a wicked grin.

"Surprise," Stefan said, in an unapologetic tone, and Caroline's jaw dropped, as her eyes narrowed- what the hell?

"Stefan! Why would you- how-" she stuttered frantically, and he let out a dark laugh, as he shrugged his shoulders.

Her dead heart was pounding out of her chest, while he happily smirked.

"I couldn't miss your 18th birthday, could I?" he asked, almost rhetorically. Caroline let out a growl of frustration, thowing the makeshift stake in his direction, and he caught it easily, as he still wore that classic smile. "You throw like a girl," he noted, and Caroline stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

"You scared the hell out of me, Stefan! Have you never heard of just saying 'hey, it's me, your best friend, open up?'" she asked, in an exasperated tone, and his eyebrow rose.

Stefan walked closer towards her, and Caroline felt a sweep of emotions pass through her- everything from frustration to annoyance, mostly. But she also felt relief, and happiness.

Despite how pissed she was with him for going all Ripper-Scare-Tactics on her, she had to admit, she was happy to see his face again.

His beautiful, perfectly chiseled face.

"Last I checked, Caroline," he began, "I called you, and you ignored it. I could have been a lot nicer if you just picked up the phone," he noted and she sighed as she sat down on her bed, and looked at the clock- 11:54 p.m. "I made it, with six minutes to spare, friend."

Caroline remained silent, and Stefan did as well, as he stood before her, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, and hair perfectly styled, as if he specifically did it just to see her.

Ha. She wished.

"How was the birthday celebration?" he asked. "Gatherings at the boarding house are getting pretty redundant, right?"

Caroline's eyes shot up to meet his.

"You were watching?" Stefan only shrugged, and took a seat next to her. "I-" Caroline began, and she stopped.

What did she really want to say to him, after all of this time? What could she say, really? Should she apologize for being a crappy friend, and say that she was sorry for neglecting him when it came to her own, shallow life problems? She truly felt horrible when she realized she hadn't been there for Stefan in the same way he was there for her. Should she demand that he reprimand her for it?

"What's on your mind?" he asked, sounding equally interested, and somberly detatched, all at the same time.

It almost scared her how unemotional his voice had become. She shivered, in fact. But she had questions, and she'd be damned if she didn't get answers.

"Why, Stefan?" she began in a tiny voice, as she turned her eyes to face him; he didn't look back. "Why did you save Klaus? Was it the compulsion or... did you actually want to?"

Stefan remained silent, as he drummed his fingers on his pants leg, before he finally answered.

"I didn't save Klaus. I saved Damon."

Caroline's eyebrows furrowed.

"I-I don't understand-"

"I saved Damon's life by stopping him from killing Klaus. Klaus had... this plan to make sure that his hybrids would take care of Damon in the event that my brother actually killed him. If Klaus went down..." Stefan trailed off, and Caroline's eyes widened.

"He was taking Damon with him," she finished. Stefan nodded silently, and Caroline sat back, shellshocked. "But... your humanity, Stefan. How did you-"

"I had to care, Caroline. I just... I had to care," he answered, and she pursed her lips together, waiting for him to continue. "Klaus saw this as me... pledging my allegiance to him, and... he freed me, Caroline," Stefan said, and her mouth widened.

"You mean you... it's back on? You have your humanity back?" she asked, with a spike of hope in her voice, as a rush flowed through her veins. "Stefan, this is great news," she smiled softly.

He didn't.

In fact, his stoic expression remained, and Caroline's smile immediately faded- it wasn't that easy, apparently.

"He... didn't turn my humanity back on, Caroline. He just made me free of his word- I'm now free to do whatever I want. That includes making it my choice on whether or not I turn it back on," Stefan said dryly, and Caroline inhaled as she swallowed his words.

So Klaus never "turned" his humanity back on. He just made it so Stefan could now act on his freewill, without having to take orders from the hybrid himself.

Fantastic. She fucking hated these loopholes.

"But Stefan... don't you want to turn it back on? You want it all back, right? You... you want Elena," Caroline said, and the vampire's electric eyes finally met hers.

He looked conflicted, but empty, as he gazed back at her. It made her heart ache.

"It's not that simple," he said, lowly, and Caroline felt her lip quiver, with the onset of fresh tears forming in her eyes. "I can't let it all back in. I'll never be the same. I can't be the same."

"But Stefan- you fought so hard, to save Damon, to save Elena, to save me... why don't you want your life back? Your brother misses you, you love Elena- your love for her should be enough. Shouldn't it be enough?" she asked, and he ran a hand through his brown hair, still looking at her in that terribly apathetic way.

"It should be enough, Caroline. But it isn't."

"You're lying-"

"I'm being honest, Caroline. For the first time in all of these years... I'm being honest. And I can't ignore the truth anymore. It hurts thinking about what I've done. It pains me to believe that this who I am. I want to scream when I realize that I'll never get any of that back, Caroline. But this is who I am- I can't feel the same as I did, now. It's impossible," Stefan admitted.

Caroline's shoulders slumped as she stared at the ground.

She didn't imagine this, at all. She imagined Stefan being free of his compulsion, and everything going back to normal. She imagined having her best friend back.

And she could have it- they could have everything they had before, with the snap of his fingers. She'd forgive him in a New York minute for leaving her.

But Stefan didn't want that- he didn't want things to go back to the way they were. He didn't want his old life back- he didn't want her back.

"So, what now?" she asked, breaking the heavy silence. "You're just... gonna be a Ripper forever?" Caroline asked.

Stefan let out a long sigh.

"No. I'm just gonna be me, Caroline. I'm going to be me. Not the heroic little brother, or vampire posing as a human, pretending to live a normal life," he said, and Caroline nodded softly as she played her thumbs nervously.

"Will you still be my best friend?" she asked meekly, and Stefan's eyes finally turned to meet hers. She gulped when a look of hesitation surfaced on his face, and she nodded quickly. "Okay, don't answer that," Caroline replied softly.

"I should go," he said abruptly, as he stood up, and neared the window. "I just wanted to wish you a 'Happy Birthday,'" he said, watching the disappointment on Caroline's face multiply by the second.

No; she wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.

"Stefan," she said, and he turned around to face her, stoneface and all. "How do you do it?" she asked, as he waited for her to elaborate. "How do you... handle it knowing that you're going to live forever without anybody at your side?" Caroline asked, gently. He placed his hands at his sides, and stood there quietly, as she awaited his answer. "Because I don't know how I'm going to do this, Stefan. I don't know how to live alone, forever," she added, with a soft break in her voice. "I need you in my life, Stefan."

Stefan watched silently as her tears began to rim her eyes, and quickly stream down her cheeks. She never made any attempt to wipe them away. Instead, Caroline neared him, until she was standing inches away from his face.

She cupped her hands on his cheeks, and gently rubbed her thumbs along his skin. Stefan's eyes were focused on hers, as she blinked away her tears, and took in a gentle breath. He instictively captured her wrists and held them, as he shut his eyes.

"It's get easier with time. You just... learn to be alone," he finally answered, and she scoffed.

"I don't believe you-"

"I can't be your friend, Caroline," he interrupted, and her lips trembled as she held his face even tighter.

Caroline felt her heart crumbling, but she pushed through it- she had to push through it for him.

"Then... then be more than that, Stefan. Be more," she begged. "You wouldn't have come here if you didn't think you needed to be saved, Stefan. You know that you don't want to be alone and neither do I. Please, just let me be there for you."

"It's impossible, Caroline. Who I am now... it contradicts everything I've ever taught you about being a vampire! I taught you to never give up. I taught you to tame the hunger- I taught you to feel. But I don't- I don't do anything of those things!" he suddenly yelled, as he roughly pulled away.

Caroline grabbed his wrist and stopped him- he wasn't going to run away again.

"But you still deserve to be loved," she whispered.

He scoffed, and shook his head.

"I'm not Tyler, Caroline. I'm not somebody who should be loved, or saved- I shouldn't even be a second thought-"

"But you are, Stefan. You're all I think about- every single day, every single hour." she confessed, and his eyebrows furrowed at his words.

"Caroline-"

"I don't know why, but it always comes back to you. Doesn't that mean something? I see right through, Stefan Salvatore. And I know that in your own, broody way, you think that you're saving me by going away- and you're not. You're taking away the one thing that I want. And I know that you won't admit it... but you need me, Stefan. And I need you. And as long as we're both here, I won't give up on that," she promised, as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Stefan inhaled a deep breath, and Caroline held onto him as tightly as she could, taking in the sweet scent of his familiar skin, and the unusual warmth of his body.

And though he was just standing there, she missed this- embracing Stefan, and feeling as if everything in this world would be okay, as long as he was around. His absence truly affected her, much more than he could imagine, and she just didn't know what would become of her if she never saw him again.

"I don't want to hold you back," he eased, and Caroline immediately hushed him, with a finger to his lips.

"You really think that you've changed that much? Because I can tell you right now that your self-loathing is as clear as ever," she snapped, and Stefan reluctantly cracked a small smile.

"So is your wit," he replied, and Caroline sent him a big grin.

She saw a glimmer of something in Stefan's eyes- she wanted to call it hope.

"Now, if you're done feeling sorry for yourself, I say we stop it with the Ripper Therapy Session for tonight, and do something fun. I haven't seen you smile in ages, and it's seriously tragic," she said, and his eyebrow rose.

"You do realize Klaus is after me, right? The word 'fun' isn't exactly in my vocabulary right now."

"Too bad, it's in mine," Caroline replied, and Stefan let out a short laugh as her blue eyes gleamed, and she looked straight into his. "Plus, you weren't at my birthday party, so you owe me a birthday shot," she said, crossing her arms expectingly.

He wondered how, even in the darkest time of his life, he could still feel so much for somebody- for her.

It was always only her.

The way she smiled, the way she laughed; the way she made him do those things, even when he didn't think he could, anymore- Caroline was simply irreplaceable. The way he felt about Caroline was always something he struggled with; he bounced between wanting to protect her, to only feeling like himself when she was around, to keeping his distance, for fear of messing things up.

But tonight- he couldn't keep his distance. When he saw how sad, yet beautiful, she looked in her blue birthday dress, as she sat there quietly at the boarding house, he knew he'd have to come see her.

And honestly? He didn't regret it like he thought he would.

"What are we drinking?" he relented, and Caroline's facial expression seemed to soar to new heights.

"My mom's got a bottle of Johnnie Walker that's begging to be finished," Caroline boasted happily, as she spun around on her heel towards the door.

Stefan sighed and threw his arms up in defeat- sure, why not?

He began to follow her to the door, and suddenly, he took her hand into his, and pulled her in towards him.

Caroline let out a mini-yelp when he did- Stefan caught her off guard.

"Don't tell me you changed your mind because I seriously need a drink and-" she began, and this time, he stopped her words with his index finger.

Caroline stared at him quietly, and Stefan bit his bottom lip before he spoke.

"I almost forgot to do this," he said in a low tone, before he pulled Caroline in closer, and hugged her tightly.

"Careful, Stefan. You're humanity is showi-" she started, only to be interrupted when he placed a sweet, but passionate kiss on her lips.

His smooth lips tasted like a mixture of mint and cherry as they pressed against hers, and Caroline had to try very hard not to pass out when she realized that this moment, one she often relived in her dreams, was real.

She was kissing Stefan Salvatore. And it was epic.

She immediately went weak in the knees when she came to the realization, but Stefan automatically caught her around the waist, and deepened the kiss even more. Caroline ran her fingers through his soft caramel hair, and it felt like she had electricity running through her veins.

This was going to change everything.

He finally seperated his lips from hers, and Caroline let out a deep sigh when he placed his mouth to her shoulder, and kissed all the way up her neck, finally stopping at her ear.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered, before taking her into another warm embrace, and Caroline smiled against him as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and looked at her clock.

"You're a few minutes late," she noted, jokingly, and he sighed.

"How will I ever make it up to you?" Stefan asked, and she pulled back to meet his eyes, and take his hands into hers.

"You already have," she smiled.

Stefan smiled back, and Caroline gave his hands a playful squeeze.

"Shall we?" she asked, referring to the Johnnie Walker awaiting them in the liquor cabinet, and he nodded in agreement.

"We shall."

You put your arms around me,

And I believe it's easier for you to let me go,

I hope that you can see right through my walls,

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling,

I'll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me, and I'm home.