A/N: This is my first HG fic, so cut me a little slack. This is slightly AU. The only real difference is that Katniss realizes her love for Peeta a little sooner than in the books. Please leave me a review!
Note: I don't own the Huger Games. The first few paragraphs are straight out of Catching Fire, to help you figure out exactly what point I'm starting at. Katniss and Peeta are beginning the Victory Tour, and Peeta offers to be friends.
This is a ONE-SHOT. I've had people alerting it and saying that they 'can't wait to see where it goes'. It's not going anywhere. Sorry. xD
Starting Over
Peeta takes a seat beside me.
"I thought you were Haymitch," I say.
"No, he's still working on that muffin." I watch as Peeta positions his artificial leg. "Bad day, huh?"
"It's nothing," I say.
He takes a deep breath. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."
I'm quite for a moment, as his apology has taken me by surprise. I wasn't expecting one; I didn't deserve one. He had every right to be upset with me. I played with his feeling, and made him think that I loved him, even though I didn't. Even though I was doing it to keep us alive, looking back on it makes me feel a little guilty. I should have figured out a way to include him in the loop, and help him understand what Haymitch and I were trying to do. I hurt Peeta, without meaning to, and I think I deserve the cold shoulder he gave me in the months between the Games and now. "I'm sorry, too," I say finally.
"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just trying to keep us alive," Peeta says, as though reading my thoughts. "But I don't want to keep acting like this. I don't want us to ignore each other until there's a camera around, and then act like the happy couple we're not."
"Then what do you want?" I ask.
"You know what I want," he says quietly. "But since that's not what you want, I figured maybe we could try an alternative. Maybe we could be friends, instead."
Friends, I think. Yes, that could work. I nod my assent, then begin to say, "Look, Peeta, about the arena-"
"You don't have to explain anything," Peeta interrupts.
"But I want to," I answer. "I didn't know you when the Games started, and when you told the whole world that you were in love with me, I thought it was just a strategy. And then I realized that you weren't pretending, and I wasn't sure how to feel about someone other than my mother or Prim loving me. All that kissing we did just confused me more. I didn't know how to feel about you. I'm still not entirely positive," I admit. "But now..."
"Now what?" Peeta asks after a moment of silence as I try to figure out how to say what I need to say.
"Now... I think I feel the same way." There. I've managed to get it out in the best way possible. I'm not good with my feelings, don't know how to tell someone other than Prim that I love them, or could possibly even like them. And Peeta, the kind person that he is, doesn't press me to be more specific, to choke out what I'm almost afraid to say.
He doesn't respond for a while. I watch him carefully, and notice that while his expression hasn't changed much, he almost seems happier than when he first sat down. "So you want to just skip the friend thing?" he asks when he finally decides to speak.
"I don't want to jump into this," I answer. "But maybe we can be a little more than just friends?" But less than what we are for the cameras and the Capitol. I'm not ready for something that serious with Peeta yet. We hardly know each other, after all.
"We'll start over," Peeta says. "A new relationship. Nothing before this has counted. A clean slate is what we need."
I'm relieved that Peeta seems to understand what I want. We can take it slow, baby steps, until I've reached a deeper understanding of these emotions and feelings I have for him. We sit there for a while longer, discussing our favorite things with one another. Then Peeta decides it's time to return to the train, and he gets to his feet before offering me his hand, which I take gratefully. My fingers intertwine with his, and we walk back to the train.
He offers to show me his paintings, and I agree. First, though, I apologize to Effie. She accepts almost graciously, and then we continue on to the car full of Peeta's paintings. Soon after, we arrive in District 11. We give our speeches, Peeta offers part of our winnings to Thresh and Rue's families, and people are shot, we have dinner. Back in the train, Peeta and I retire to my room, and we spend an hour doing nothing but talking.
When Peeta tells me goodnight, he wraps me in a warm hug. The familiar feel of his arms around me relaxes me, and when he withdraws, I risk giving him a quick peck on the lips. But that's what makes me realize that I want more, and I know that Peeta does, too. He bends down slightly to give me a long, slow kiss, so different from the fierce kisses we've acted out in front of the cameras. How good it feels to know that no one is watching us now, that we actually have some privacy, except for the camera that they have surely hidden in my room.
The next few kisses are just as sweet as the first, but the enthusiasm behind them quickly increases, and my hands are fastened around his neck. His hands rest on my waist, and he pulls me closer, securing his hold on me. For the first time, I am actually interested in these kisses. I want more, but a lack of air prevents me from getting this. I let out a breathy laugh as I meet his eyes, slightly embarrassed for some reason. Peeta gives me a faint smile, and says, "Good night, Katniss."
I catch his hand, clasping it between both of mine, and hold it to my chest. "Stay," I whisper. "Please."
Peeta obliges, and we crawl under the covers. I turn the lights off with a button on the wall, and snuggle into him. His arms wrap around me again, and for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. My head rests against his chest, and the steady beating of his heart and his rhythmic breathing soon lull me to sleep. Another first, I have only one nightmare, but I don't wake up screaming like usual.
The nightmare started off terribly, with me watching Rue get speared through the gut again. Then Rue turns into Prim, and she's screaming my name, but there's nothing I can do to help her. "Prim!" I scream in return. But I can't move. And then she's gone. Strong arms envelop me, and I turn to see Peeta. "She's gone, Katniss. There's nothing you can do for her now." I burst into tears, and bury my face against his chest. When I'm finished crying, I pull away to find that we're not in the arena anymore, but in the meadow from the song I sang to Rue. All is peaceful and we're alone. We start kissing again...
I wake up then, and I'm pleased to find Peeta asleep beside me. I wake him up with a quick kiss. He smiles and his eyes flutter open. "Good morning," he murmurs. I hardly have control of myself as I kiss him again, and again. He kisses me back until we're both out of breath and panting. "That's a nice way to wake up," Peeta says. "You should do that more often."
"I will," I promise. And I mean it. Because from now on, I plan to make the most of my new relationship with Peeta – there's no other future for us anyway. It's a good thing that I'm starting to love him back. Except for visiting the rest of the districts, the next few days with Peeta will be almost perfect. And they are. Until we arrive back in District 12 and the horrors that await us in the future.
A/N: Alright, the ending isn't the greatest – it's my biggest weakness. Also, I think Katniss may be a little out of character, but I'm hoping I did a decent job other than that. Please let me know what you think! :D