Sometimes it's the smallest of things that give ideas. After I posted the fic last night, I started watching videos on youtube on my favorites list. One that I watched was the "Give Us Life Again" video that's dedicated to Mamiina and Rodoreamon. Part of the video shows Mamiina's sacrifice. Instantly, I knew what I wanted to do and began writing. This fic is the result. I know I've done quite a lot that revolves around the death of Mamiina, and here is yet another fic to illustrate things unseen. Enjoy!
Sky. Clear blue sky. She could smell something…it was terrible. What was it? Smoke. Something was smoking. Or had been smoking. Her eyes flickered open. There was Mamiina. Why did she look so concerned? Everything was all right, wasn't it? It was hard for her to stay conscious. Something tugged at the back of her mind, wanting her to just close her eyes and rest. She desperately wanted to give in, but her body wouldn't allow it just yet. Mamiina spoke to her…but her words barely processed. Neviril felt as though they were meant to be comforting.
Heavy. She felt heavier than ever before. She couldn't lift an arm, couldn't lift a finger even. There was no strength to muster, not even for speech. She wanted to speak, wanted to ask what was going on. She couldn't bring herself to. The energy simply wasn't there for her to do so. She closed her eyes for a moment. Yes, the darkness was calming, soothing. She could enjoy this, could relax and rest. Her body wanted to be pulled under.
She suddenly realized the throbbing in her head. She could pinpoint the location with difficulty. Why did her head hurt so much? Her face felt wet in places. She wasn't crying. At least, she didn't think she was. It was warm against her face. She wished the throbbing would stop. Perhaps if she gave in to her body's demands to just rest, the throbbing would go away. She looked toward Mamiina one last time. The Sibylla was speaking to someone. She wasn't sure who. Then, a glimpse. The foreign priestesses. She heard her name and title, but it all seemed so very distant to her. Before she lost consciousness, she heard Mamiina's final words. She was moved, and tears formed in her eyes. As the priestesses spoke, she told Mamiina that they were being truthful. It took all her strength to form those words. She closed her eyes, and let unconsciousness overtake her. She slipped away from the world and the scene going on around her.
Neviril found herself floating atop crystal clear water. The gentle flow of the liquid propelled her forward. She turned her head to observe her surroundings, finding herself near a river. It was idyllic. She heard the birds in the background, and could hear the splash of the water all around her. It was just warm enough to be comfortable. She floated beneath a clear blue sky, full of puffy white clouds. Closing her eyes, she focused on the feeling of being held close, as though the water were cradling her. Nothing disturbed her movement or thoughts. It was peaceful, calming.
She couldn't remember why she was floating down a river, or for what purpose. Even the fact that she couldn't remember what came before didn't phase her. It didn't even occur to her. The sun was warm on her face. If she floated for the rest of her life, it would be like this. It had to be like this. Perfect in every way. She sighed happily.
As she floated further downstream, the water began to pick up in speed. It did not increase enough to concern her. The fact that the speed had increased eluded her. She was cradled and safe, content. Alone, yet not. It didn't matter. Her body slipped over the waterfall, yet she did not crash into the unforgiving rocks below. Light as a feather, she floated downward, slowly drifting. Her eyes were still closed; she felt the fall, realized she was falling, but in the end, it made no difference to her whether she smattered against the rocks or not.
When she next opened her eyes, she found herself in the Simoun. She was drifting down through the sky. She found herself slouched down in her seat and found it hard to move. She was sore from being in the same position for so long, and could not muster the energy to slide herself into position to control the Simoun. Aaeru will take care of it she thought idly, without thinking. Wait…I'm in the auriga seat… then who is my sagitta? Before she could consider this, she heard two clangs against the sides of her Simoun. A third clang rang out and then she heard a voice. "Neviril? Neviril, are you all right?"
The speaker behind the voice couldn't be discerned. Everything was simply too hazy to think too deeply about any one topic. "Yes, I'm fine," she tried to say, but it came out in a tiny whisper. She was exhausted.
"Hang on Neviril. We'll get you back to the Arcus Prima. You'll have your injuries treated then."
Injuries? So she was hurt. That was why her head throbbed still. Slowly, and with much effort, she raised a hand to her forehead, gingerly touching the spot. She felt the wet stuff, which was very sticky by now. As she pulled away her fingers, she glimpsed them: red. Blood. She was bleeding, but couldn't remember how it had happened. She struggled to recall the events, but only saw Mamiina and recalled her name being spoken, recalled the priestesses. More began to come to her, but she didn't have the energy to process everything. It all seemed like another dream.
Once more she closed her eyes. It was easier to slip away into delicious darkness than to exert the little bit of energy it required to keep her eyes open and her mind alert. She'd contemplate everything once she woke up. She drifted off to sleep. This time, she did not dream.
She awoke to stark bright light. Her eyes darted about, taking in her surroundings. The location was instantly familiar to her. She was in the infirmary on the Arcus Prima. Her head wasn't throbbing any more and she could focus. She heard soft voices coming from behind a drawn white curtain. Neviril rose from the bed and made her way toward the curtain. As she was about to call out to the voices, one of the nurses slipped out, surprised when she saw Neviril standing before her.
"Sibylla Aurea, please, you do not want to go back there. We—"
"What has happened?" asked Neviril calmly.
The nurse lowered her head. "I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this. Sibylla Mamiina… she was killed in battle. She is with Tempus Spatium now."
A numbness settled over Neviril, but she kept her composure, as would be expected of the Sibylla Aurea. It hadn't been a dream. "I see… thank you for telling me."
"It is good to see that you are doing much better. You only had a bump and a few scratches from where your head hit the Simoun. You are free to leave when you feel well enough."
"Thank you," replied Neviril, bowing toward her. She turned and left the infirmary. As she closed the door behind her, she could feel herself slumping against the wall. Mamiina had… sacrificed herself. Pieces of earlier that day floated back to her. What had Mamiina been doing?
"Neviril, you shouldn't be out like this. You need to rest."
"No, Paraietta. Tell me what happened. Please, I must know." Neviril looked at her dearest friend with imploring eyes.
Paraietta sighed. "All right. But not here. It's not right." She guided Neviril back toward her room and the two of them slipped inside.
Neviril took a seat at the table, and Paraietta sat across from her. Taking a deep breath, Paraietta began to speak. "From what we know, Mamiina was killed by the foreign priestesses. They killed her without mercy. She was able to get the Simoun flying before they murdered her." With every word, Paraietta's anger grew.
"That's…not how it happened," answered Neviril, slowly processing Paraietta's words.
"What are you saying?"
"Mamiina sacrificed herself for me. She told the priestesses… that I was the finest Sibylla and that I should live… she… made sure of that."
"Are you sure? Are you certain that Mamiina said that?"
"I am… I am very certain of this. She gave her life for me because of who I am and because of who she was."
"Are you sure?"
"No, I can't be, but I feel… I feel that she did that. Tempus…Tempus Spatium… gave her the chance… and now… she's gone."
Paraietta's hand moved across the table to settle on top of her own. She squeezed, wanting to do more to comfort Neviril. "Let's go pray," she suggested.
"I'd like to see Mamiina."
"Her body will be laid to rest in the temple soon. Come. You cannot hide away in your room." She rose from her seat and moved to Neviril's side, offering her a hand. Neviril took hold, and stood. She followed Paraietta, still numb inside. Shouldn't she have died? Shouldn't it be Mamiina who lived? Something seemed wrong, so very wrong with this picture. It didn't settle well on her heart.