The first few days he doesn't think he has any sleep. It all seems a blurry of people and voices, sunrises and sunsets. How can he sleep when she is...? He can't sleep. He doesn't want to wake up.
2. Sun
This is California after all. And the weather seldomly matches his mood. And today, of all days, it's sunny. The sun is bright and warm. A perfect day. Except... It shouldn't be sunny today. Not today. Not without her.
3. Ignored
When he was a kid, he was ignored. "Children should be seen, not heard." His father was always too busy, his sister couldn't care less. But his mother was always there. And they were both ignored.
4. Sand
The sand feels good against his toes. The sea right in front of him. The "perfect wave" just waiting. Beautiful girls sun bathing in tiny bikinis. A warm sun. His board. Maybe living near the beach isn't so bad.
5. Her
He tries to hate her. He treats her badly, he hurts her. But he won't allow anyone else to treat her badly. He won't let anyone else hurt her. And when she hurts, he hurts too. He thinks this is love.
6. Smiles
She used to smile differently. It was pure and happy like the ones she gave when she was having fun or polite and respectful like she gave the teachers and adults. It's different now. Her smiles are always a bit sad, a bit sarcastic, a bit angry.
7. Crimson
He didn't actually see it. He didn't see the clogging blood by the side of the pool, staining her hair, her skin, her clothes. He didn't see it's vivid color. He never saw her pale face with no life. But he can imagine the red crimson.
8. Guarded
They both keep things inside. That can't make for a healthy relationship, he thinks once. They hurt each other so many times, they're afraid. And so they keep themselves guarded, until the wall can break.
9. Here
Here is a beach, a bottle of champagne or two, his girlfriend and two good friends. Here is laughing and teasing. Here is not worrying about the next morning. Here is watching blond girls singing and dancing badly and hear Duncan sigh "We're doomed".
10. Birthmark
She has the most beautiful birthmark on her shoulder. She can't understand why he thinks it is so fascinating, why he spends hours looking at it. She doesn't understand that it's not about the birthmark at all, it's because it's on her.
11. Note
He always thought Lilly was his epic love. The fights, so many, and the make-ups, so amazing. He didn't realize it then, that for it to be epic, she had to love him too, just as much. So he leaves a note and a shot glass.
12. No Return
He breaks it up with her, when the pain is tough but survivable. He knows that any longer and the pain will become unbearable. He can't reach the point of no return.
13. Change
She changed and he changed. She changed first, got tough, got even. And then changed again, stayed tough but let him in. And he changed so he wouldn't hurt her anymore. But he did anyway. Was the change even worth it?
14. Salt
She thinks he puts too much salt in his french fries. But she keeps stealing them from his plate.
15. Doll
That night on the roof she is not the new Veronica Mars, or the old Veronica Mars. She is a china doll that is too close to breaking.
16. Dust
The storage smells of dust. It's no surprise, it's the first time the storage has been opened since the fire. His father awards, some furniture, boxes of stuff, some of his mother paintings. Everything that survived the destruction of his house is there. Everything he would rather avoid.
17. Stars
Stargazing with Veronica Mars is not a romantic situation. His Ronnie will mock all the couples who claim a star as their own, or buy a star for themselves, saying it's like buying land on the moon, useless. His Ronnie will kiss him and he won't need the stars for the romance. When did she become his Ronnie?
18. Empty
Life without Veronica Mars is not as interesting. Not as full. Just empty. And he thinks he already reached the point of no return.
19. Smirk
He has this trademark smirk since he can remember. Back when he was a kid it was confused with a smile, but when it started to follow a sarcastic remark (that only got wittier), people saw it as it was. He will only smile for her.
20. Poison
Lilly is a drug. She will give you a high you never dreamed and a low you can't get over. You become addicted and she cuts you off. Lilly is a poison he can't get rid.
21. Monument
Neptune is full of monuments. Fake monuments. The most beautiful houses, an architetural monument, houses made of cards, that easy to crumble. Everything in Neptune is so easy to destroy.
22. Heart
Heart beats fast when she comes near. Heart beats fast and he plays cool. Heart beats fast when she smiles at him. Heart beats fast when she kisses him. Heart doesn't want to beat, when she's not here.
23. Hotel
He lives in a 5 star hotel. Maids clean his room everyday. His food is always ordered. He never does any laundry. It's not a house, it's not a home.
24. Shirt
She steals his shirts. He goes through her closet once, with her permission, and he finds a couple of his shirts that he hasn't seen in a while. He asks if this means he can steal a few pieces of her clothes too and she grins "Only if you wear them". He doesn't say anything about it anymore.
25. Photograph
The piece of paper got old. He decides not to print a new, wrinkle-free, one. He gives it one last look, the four friends in formal clothes grinning back at the camera, and puts it back in his wallet next to the new photograph. In this, the blond and the baby smile at him, and he can't help but smile back.
A/N: This is inspired by the 50scenes LJ comm, but I chose my own words, and basically is writting a bunch of scenes about a bunch of words. Hope you like it! Review!