Disclaimer: No, Doctor Who is still not mine…so annoying.
This little one shot came from where all my best ideas do: the shower.
Spoilers through Wedding of River Song (for both the Doctor and River). Anyway, enjoy.
"This is some shortcut sweetie!" River growled as she fired off another shot.
"I didn't think this would happen!" the Doctor snapped, sounding very irritable.
"Doctor, how are these guys still alive?" Amy yelled over the zing of River's laser pistol. Her, River, Rory and the Doctor had been enjoying a rather pleasant evening on the town, River having "accessed" an ATM, in South London, July 2012, when the gaunt, gray faced leaders of the Silence trapped them in an alley which was supposedly a shortcut back to the TARDIS.
"How should I know?" He answered his own question. "They probably went to ground and have been hiding out, waiting for their chance."
"Uh, chance to what?" Rory asked, his eyes wide and fearful but still standing protectively in front of his wife.
"To kill me of course. Since River didn't kill me, or did kill me but they don't know that. They're probably a fallback plan."
"Oh great, even when you're dead they still want to kill you," Amy replied.
Five of the eight Silence were down thanks to River's impressive shooting but the other three were channeling enough electricity to block the shots. She got one more before there was the sound of the gun powering down. "Damn it!" she yelled and threw it to the Doctor who automatically caught it before nearly dropping it in distaste.
"What?" he started.
"Sonic it!" she yelled, drawing weapon she'd kept since that day on the Lake Silencio Beach. It took all six shots to bring down the seventh alien. She looked back to see her husband still eyeing the weapon and not helping at all. "Sweetie!" The word was filled with exasperation. Her eyes darted back to the last member of the Silence and took a step back as the gaping hole of a mouth opened and more electricity filled the air.
And then the alien's chest exploded and the electricity shot up into the sky. All four of them stared as the body sagged to its knees and then forward, skull connecting soundly with the ground. Very slowly they looked up at the young man in his mid twenties with dark skin and black, close cropped hair. He wore all black, mostly leather, with a large pack slung over his shoulder and carried a gun the size of an uzi.
The man eyed the alien as he approached, then stepped over it and the others. The moment they were out of his sight, his face changed. He looked down at the still smoking weapon. "Why did I fire this?" he muttered and looked back up into the faces of four strangers, all of whom were staring at him. "Who're you?"
The Doctor was the first to react he approached carefully, as though the other man might run, then grinned. "Rickey!" He reached out and hugged him.
"It's Mickey and I have a very large gun," Mickey Smith said warningly as he stood, stiff as a board in the Doctor's arms.
The Doctor backed off. "Yes of course it's Mickey. I know it's Mickey. I just thought if I called you Rickey, you might recognize me."
Only a couple people in this dimension had ever called him Rickey and he certainly wasn't Captain Cheesecake so that left: "Doctor?"
The Doctor grinned broadly. This time when he tried to hug Mickey, the human let him. Over the Timelord's shoulder, Mickey took notice of the others in the group. "Hullo."
"Ah yes," the Doctor backed up and turned to make introductions while he tucked the gun into the large back pack he wore, "Mickey Smith, may I present Amy and Rory Pond—"
"Williams," Rory muttered.
"—and Dr. River Song. You lot, this is a very old friend of mine, Mickey Smith."
"Did you used to travel with him too?" Amy asked.
"Briefly. Mostly he just transported me back and forth between dimensions. And you?
"I've been doing it the longest, then River and Rory."
"Your entourage is growin' boss."
The Doctor sighed dramatically. "I know, I just can't get rid of them."
"What, you mean you don't just dump them off in other dimensions anymore?"
It was a shot and the Doctor looked lightly guilty. "She's better off there and you know it."
Mickey shrugged. "I'm just sayin.' If I had a clone, I wouldn't let 'im walk off with my girlfriend."
"Doctor? What's he talking about?" Amy asked.
"Nothing," the Doctor replied flatly.
Mickey grinned. "Oh so you've not told them anything."
"Not about this, no." River frowned then smiled brightly. "Do tell."
"Don't you dare—" the Doctor started but it was too late.
"Three years ago, all of reality was in trouble and Rose and I jumped dimensions to help out."
"And her mother," the Doctor added.
"Her too, anyway, so this friend of his, Donna, touched his partially regenerated hand which got cut off ages ago. And mixed it with human DNA to make a whole nother Doctor. He helped us fight but he was more human than him," he jerked his head at the Doctor, "so he couldn't regenerate and so he got dumped off with Rose back in the other dimension but I stayed here 'cause…" he trailed off. It would take too long to explain his and Rose's relationship in conjunction with the Doctor's. " 'Cause I did."
River raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, that's an interesting tale."
"Yes it is, quite entertaining but also quite long and we don't have the time for it," the Doctor said very quickly.
"Oh but I want to hear, tell me sweetie."
The doctor gave her a crooked smile. "Spoilers," he murmured.
"Oh I highly doubt that," she replied, a smile playing across her features.
"Even so." The Doctor grinned, River having easily brought him out of his slight funk.
"Must you two always do that?" Rory asked dully.
"It's revenge father," she said, not taking her eyes off the Doctor. "You two are just as bad."
"Are not," Amy countered.
"Were then." She remembered the first time she'd seen her parents kiss and hadn't been able to decide between happy and embarrassed.
"You two? Seriously?" Mickey asked, looking at the Doctor who met his eyes a bit coolly.
"Why do you say that?" River asked.
"Well…I've seen him with a girl he liked. Kinda useless if ya ask me."
"Thanks," the Doctor said coldly.
River turned to face Mickey. "Perhaps I should better introduce myself. I'm Dr. River Song, archeologist and the Doctor's wife."
Mickey stared dumbfounded at the woman before him. Then he laughed. "That's pretty good." When no one else laughed he looked around. "Come on, that can't be true."
"It is," the Doctor said finally, silencing Mickey.
Mickey paused. "Well, congrats, mate. Didn't know you had it in you."
"Thanks, me neither," the Doctor replied. "And what about you?" He looked at the gold band on his hand.
"Oh well, your friends get lonely without you. She's gonna be shocked when I tell her about this."
"Martha?" he asked in a soft whisper. "Wh-what happened to her fiancé? That Tom person."
Mickey shrugged and looked down, smiling slightly. Then he noticed one of the alien corpses and jumped. "What the bloody hell is that?"
"Don't worry about it," the Doctor said airily.
Mickey looked up. "Worry about what?"
"Never mind. Well, we should get going. Mickey, til the next time."
Mickey blinked. "Uh, yeah. See you then, boss."
"And ignore the dead aliens, you'll forget they were even here."
Mickey laughed and turned away. "Sure," he called over his shoulder as he started to walk away, "whatever that means."
The Doctor turned back to his friends. "Shall we?"
Amy nodded, then asked, "Do you really dump people in other dimensions when you're done with them?"
The Doctor frowned. "Only him and Rose…and Jackie but that's only because Jackie's husband in this reality died shortly after Rose was born and Mickey wanted to stay there." Silence came between them for a moment before he continued in a much lighter tone, "Besides, you're daughter would be rather grumpy if I dropped you off somewhere she couldn't find you."
"Uh me too," Rory cut in.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Well obviously if I did that, I'd dump you both together." Rory looked slightly mollified. "But since I'm not going to do it this is completely pointless. Can we please just go?"
River gave in. "Fine but I will get the rest of this story eventually."
The Doctor nodded, hoping futilely that she would forget, just this once.
…
Meanwhile, back at UNIT headquarters…
Mickey clocked in and headed into the office space shared by the many techies and soldiers. It held a huge video screen which was currently displaying a map of the world with various countries highlighted.
"You're late," said a voice behind him.
He turned to see Martha. "Hey babe," he said with a grin. "I bumped into someone on my way in."
"Oh really? Anyone I know?"
"Just the Doctor." Her eyes widened. "With a new face…regenerated, he did." Another pause for effect. "And his wife," he added with as much deadpan as one can manage with a shit eating grin on his face.
He got the reaction he expected. When she finally got her voice back she squeaked, "His wife?"
"Yup. Her name is River Song. Not as pretty as you though, babe." He smiled when she did.
"Well, now everyone's happy."
"Yup."
End
Thanks for reading everyone. Review if you like it, hate it, have no feelings one way or the other, just do it…pretty please?