AN: This fic is for all the Vincent Valentine fan girls out there! He's hot and we love him! So on with story! R&R please!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters. Though in my dreams, I own Vincent and Sephy and Reno! Also, the title for this fic is from the NIN song Terrible Lie, which I do not own either. In my dreams, I also own Trent Reznor! Hehehe!
Tell me Chaos, what "sins" have I truly committed, when she is the one who kept lying, time and time again. I have come to understand that I should no longer atone for her sins. Lucrecia…I blamed myself constantly for the horrific events that befell her; but now, I realize I was merely her puppet; the man who would have given his life for her… I was tricked, she always loved him; not I.
Yet, she had spoken my name so truthfully, that night under the willow tree. There she was, leaning back, her feet playfully splashing in the stream. I had been sitting a few paces away from her, staring into nothingness, perhaps searching for a way to escape my unrequited love for her. That was when she said it; that was the day she spoke the words that would forever condemn my soul, the words for which I was willing to lead the life of a damned man.
-"Vincent, I love you"
Oh, how I remember those words so clearly. I didn't know it then, but those words would haunt my dreams for many long nights. From that day on, she became the light of my day… my everything. I lived only to be with her; to protect her. Yet, she never smiled. No matter how many times I proclaimed my undying love, she would only look up to me with those sad eyes. Looking back on it now, it makes me wonder if she knew all along how it would end. Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm finally moving on today; because I finally learned how to smile.
I still remember the day everything started falling apart. I came to her with a ring, along with a proposal. I never expected her to refuse; my heart was shattered when I saw her running off into the distance, the echo of her resounding footsteps slowly fading until I was standing alone, wishing it had all been a dream. It all went very fast from that point on. She had never told me of her feelings for Hojo, or of the events that were taking place down in the lab…and I never asked. I though she needed time to enjoy her new found happiness with Hojo; so I backed away. She had confessed her love for me so many times before but… it all was a lie. I would have given my soul for her, and when you really think about it, I did, that night when I confronted Hojo.
In those days, I used to be quite disgusted with the old mansion; little did I know I would be spending the next thirty years locked up in it. When I heard of Lucrecia's pregnancy, but mostly, of the experiments Hojo was conducting on both her and the child, I could no long watch passively. Yet, I couldn't go to her. I would not have been able to look her in the eyes after all the lies. I was miserable, yet determined to protect her at any cost. That brings us to the day I lost my soul; the day I failed to protect the only person I had ever loved.
That morning, I left my room, gun in hand, and forced myself down the creepy staircase that led to the basement. I had the firm intention to make Hojo change his ways, and if he refused, he would get acquainted with Death Penalty. As I expected, Hojo was alone in the lab; he knew of my feelings for Lucrecia, so when he saw come through the door, he knew right away the purpose of my visit.
-"How can I be of assistance Mr.Valentine?" he spoke in a low tone, an evil grin forming across his features.
-"You know why I'm here. If you keep injecting her with Jenova cells, she'll die…and the chills as well…your son." My voice was as low as a whisper. I remember thinking it should have been my son…Sephiroth.
-"Would you ruin her goal, a goal she's worked so hard to achieve? She lives only for science, as I do, face it Valentine, she never cared about you" Hojo had taken a few steps forward as he spoke. We were now standing face to face.
I remember Hojo's victorious grin and the sound of a gunshot… I remember the pain and the putrid smell of mould, but most of all, I remember the thoughts of Lucrecia that flooded my mind before everything faded to black.
When I woke up, I found myself as I am now; a mere shadow of the man I ounce was…a monster. I had failed her…and the child. I was no longer fit to help anyone; so I slept, for endless nights. I never saw Lucrecia after that day, and honestly, I don't think she ever looked for me, or wondered what has become of me; yet, I could not admit it to myself…not until recently. When Avalanche stumbled upon my coffin; I was still determined to avenge the death of my beloved, and the child that should have been mine… Sephiroth was still alive, and seeking to destroy our world. I could not allow it; I could not add another sin to my already guilt ridden soul. So I followed… and the things I have learned on that journey go beyond what I could have ever imagined. All of them went through horrific events and lost people the loved, yet everyday, they put on a brave smile and fight for the greater good. Cloud lost his identity and his home town. Tifa saw her own father killed before her eyes and her home town burnt to the ground. Nanaki lost his parents to war and is left alone to protect his village. Cid saw his dreams vanish, taken away by the Shinra. Barret lost his home, his wife, his best friend and his arm, all to fight against Shinra. Aeris…died for all of us, giving her life to end the crisis. And Yuffie, always so bright and cheerful, even though on the inside, she is just as tormented as the rest of us… I think I learned more from her then anyone else. She taught me how to smile when all hope seems lost, she taught me that guilt is meaningless and to look at the future, but most of all, all of them taught me how to forgive myself.
It is only now that I begin to live…after all, I did help save the planet. I have friends now, people I can trust with my life and I can't help but feel…grateful. It may have taken a while for me to fully learn how to trust again, to laugh again, to love again and to live again; but it did happen, thanks to those brave warriors, who all fought for their own reasons to achieve the same goal. I have come to understand that people, when they look upon me, they don't see a monster; they see a hero. I can now put the past behind me and start anew, in a world I helped protect… And that is why; I will never forget that life is something to be cherished.
The end!
AN: Well, I hope you enjoyed! Constructive criticism will gladly be accepted! Love ya all!
Glam