Breaking news! I love Kevin Ryan. That is all.
There, now that we've got that out of the way, I have been having so much trouble coming up with any ideas since watching last week's episode. I am still in shock at the sheer amazingness of Seamus Dever's acting ability. The man is a god. So, that being said, I felt that the connection between Ryan and Castle when the name "Jerry Tyson" is mentioned is never shown enough so I decided to take matters into my own hands :) Spoilers for "Kick The Ballistics"
Disclaimer: Castle and all of its characters belong to Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC.
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The amber whiskey swirled around the bottom of his glass as he stared into it, his expression blank and unreadable. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting at the little hole-in-the-wall bar that he'd found on his way home, but outside the window the sun had gone down hours before. He'd told the bartender to leave the bottle of Jameson's when he'd arrived.
His gun. That bastard had used his gun that he'd let Jerry Tyson get and now there was a girl dead. He didn't know what the hell he was supposed to be feeling. Sure he'd saved the boy, but what did that mean when there were two families that had to be torn apart. If he'd been a better cop Tyson wouldn't have had the drop on them, he wouldn't have gotten his gun, and he sure as hell wouldn't have tied him and Castle up to beat the shit out of them.
A warm hand fell on his shoulder, causing him to damned near jump off the barstool. When he turned his gaze to the person behind him, he found the last person in the world that he'd expected. Sure, he'd thought that if any of the gang found him, it would have been Beckett or Esposito. Possibly even Lanie. But he never expected to see Castle's blue eyes staring back at him in the low lighting of the dingy bar.
"What're you doin' here, Castle?" He slurred. He wasn't drunk, not by a long shot, after all Kevin Ryan was a proud Irishman and he knew how to hold his whiskey.
"I could ask you the same thing, Detective." He took a seat on the barstool next to Ryan and waved the bartender over.
"What'll it be?" The barkeep, who looked like he'd been around during the prohibition, asked shakily.
"Scotch, neat. And keep 'em coming." Castle replied. Ryan couldn't miss the sadness that was laced with the usually joyful man's voice. The bartender set the glass in front of Castle and walked to the other end of the bar. Castle swigged the scotch, wincing at the burn in the back of his throat. "So, how are you doing?"
"I'm..." Ryan paused a moment, downing the rest of his glass and poured more into it. "I don't know, Castle. I don't know how I'm doing because I am responsible for a woman's death, but I'm not the one that was sitting behind bars with the rest of those murderers." Castle set his glass onto the bar and turned so that he was facing Ryan.
"I can't believe that that's the way you're looking at this." He placed his hands on the other man's shoulders and turned Ryan to face him. "Listen to me, and listen good. You are not to blame for any of this. You didn't pull the trigger, you didn't end that girl's wife. You helped find the man who did, okay?" Ryan sighed and slammed his glass onto the pine bar, some of the whiskey sloshing onto the scratched surface and covering a heart that said 'Bill+Nicole 4Ever'.
"Castle, I let him get my gun."
"You didn't sell that gun to-."
"No. You know that's not who I meant. I meant Tyson. I let him get my gun." Ryan's blue eyes blurred with hot, angry tears that threatened to spill over. "He shouldn't have gotten the drop on us. I should have known. I put you in danger and I got that woman killed. I can't believe you can even stand being in the same room as me anymore." He looked away, wiping stubbornly at the tear that fell down his ivory cheek. Castle sighed exhasperhatedly.
"Ryan, you didn't do anything for me to be angry at you."
"That's where you're wrong, Castle!" Ryan roared. "I could have...you could have died. He could have killed you. And if he had I don't think that I would have been able to live with myself. Kate would have hated me."
"Why would Kate have hated you?" Castle scoffed, downing another glass of scotch and motioning for the bartender to bring him the bottle.
"If you can't understand that that woman is so in love with you that it makes the rest of us sick then you really are as dumb as you look." Ryan chuckled, abandoning the glass and swigging the whiskey directly out of the bottle.
"I...hey, that's not what we're talking about here, Ryan. We're talking about you. And I want you to know that none of this was your fault. Okay?"
"Castle, you don't have to do this." Ryan whispered, staring at the bar, not wanting to face Castle.
"Don't have to do what, Ryan? Don't have to convince you that you're making a big mistake by sitting here blaming yourself or don't have to sit here and tell you that you can share this with me because I was there?" Castle's voice was quiet, but had an edge to it that Ryan recognized as similar to his own. "I was there, Ryan. I know what you went through because I went through it too. I watched you lay on that floor, not knowing if you were dead or alive. I looked into his eyes as he tried to pretend that he knew me. I watched him walk away. I understand what you're going through, Kevin." He rested his hand on Ryan's shoulder.
"Why didn't he kill us, Castle?" Ryan asked finally, taking another drink.
"I honestly don't know. I think he wanted us to have to live with knowing that we were so close. So damned close." Castle shook his head as he spoke, looking at the photos that were over the bar.
"Some days I wish he would have killed us." Castle shot Ryan a sideways glance but didn't say anything. They just sat. And they drank. There wasn't much else that they could do.
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The men sat in the same spot on their barstools, both of their bottles lined up next to more than a few beer bottles. They had passed the point of "drunk" an hour or so before but they had continued anyway. Neither of them wanted to think about the situation that had risen that day.
"We're closing up boys, you gotta head home." The bar tender finally said, collecting the numerous bottles in front of them and throwing them into a recycling bin. Castle handed him his credit card and cleared both of their tabs, much to Ryan's objection, and then they stumbled towards the door. The tar on the street was wet with shimmering rain as they stepped out onto the sidewalk.
Castle was rummaging through his pocket for his cellphone when a dark Crown Vic rolled its window down in front of them.
"You boys need a ride home?" A light, airy voice came from inside the car. Castle squinted and clumsily leaned over.
"Kate?" He asked. "How'd you fin' us?" He slurred, stumbling forward and catching himself on the top of her car.
"The bartender called me. Said he searched through your phone and found my number because you kept talking about me. He said that you two were in no condition to drive." She smirked at him and unlocked the doors. "You two gonna get in or not?" Castle nodded cautiously and helped Ryan into the back seat, where he placed his head against the window and watched the rain stream down the window. Castle climbed into the passenger's seat and attempted to buckle himself in.
Beckett chuckled and reached over to help him get buckled. She pulled away from the curb and they drove in silence until they reached Ryan's apartment. He silently got out of the car, then threw a 'Thanks, Beckett' over his shoulder before trudging up the stairs to his apartment. Beckett didn't pull away at first, until she saw his light click on, then she pulled out, heading towards Castle's loft.
"So, you want to tell me what you boys were doing?"
"It was a hard day today. Figured we were allowed to decompress." Castle said coldly, shrugging and keeping his eyes fixed out the windshield.
"So that gives you guys the right to go beat the hell out of your livers and wake me from my beauty sleep?" She quirked a brow.
"You are far from needing any beauty sleep, Detective." He chuckled, touching her hand lightly. She caught his fingers in hers and laced them together. He glanced at their hands quickly, a smirk crossing his face.
"You guys need to take care of yourselves. I don't think that we'd be half as successful if it was just me and Esposito." She joked, pulling up to the curb outside his apartment. He unhooked his seatbelt and went to get out of the car but was stopped by her hand on his arm. "You're not going to tell me, are you?" She asked, her brow furrowing. Castle shook his head but smiled nonetheless.
"There's a code among men, my dear detective."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning I let him tell his boss when he's ready." He smirked. "Until tomorrow, Kate." She chuckled as he shut his door and swayed into the apartment building.
"Until tomorrow, Rick."
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