Author's Notes
**Spoiler Alert** This story falls between the new Doctor Who Series Seven "A Town called Mercy" and "The Power of Three."
Note: For discussions beyond reviews, please follow this forum link after editing:
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Doctor Who and all related characters are the copyright © of the BBC.
Many thanks to my Beta reader, LittleMissLiz, for help sanding down the rough spots.
As an American writing for mostly British characters, I appreciate any feedback on getting the grammar right.
1 June 2013 Note: For any new readers, I'd like to state for the record this story was conceived, written and published months before the Doctor Who episode "Cold War", which also has events happening on a Russian submarine. My story was first! :)
26 August 2013: Minor updates to correct a few typos, incorrect wording. (My sister should be a copy editor! She caught mistakes like no one else. :) ) Added a little exposition on "boat" vs "ship" since the term seemed confusing.
Chapter 1: Barbecue!
It was a quiet moment in the lives of Amy Pond and Rory Williams. Rory was in the upstairs bathroom, the toilet tank open, staring into the inner workings. Near at hand was a "universal flapper kit" purchased from the DIY shop.
"You know," Rory called out. "I don't think this 'universal flapper' is really universal. I think we need a different kind of flapper thingy to replace the old flapper thingy."
Amy stuck her head in the bathroom. "Why not pull out the old one and take it to the shop with you so you have something to compare?"
Rory reached up to brush back his hair, and reconsidered. "It's rather messy," he replied. "Look what happened when I touched it." He held up his hand, showing off black marks on his fingers from touching the semi-dissolved rubber coating the old flapper.
"Ew!" said Amy, wrinkling her nose at the sight. "I'll get a plastic bag for you to put that old thing in."
Amy went downstairs, glad she wasn't the one getting her hands messy. As she neared the bottom of the stairs, her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at the front door, followed by the doorbell ringing over and over again. Her temper flared. Amy grabbed a water pistol she kept handy for such occasions, planning to douse the miscreant who was being so rude. She snatched open the TARDIS-blue door, water pistol at the ready, with a loud "OY!"
It was the Doctor, a slight smile on his face. He was wearing his usual brown tweed jacket with white shirt and bow tie. In addition, he had on a large Stetson hat, which looked quite out of place for a London neighborhood.
"Howdy, Ma'am!" he said, using his best imitation of a western US accent. The Doctor tipped his hat with a big smile, and rocked slightly from side to side. "Do you mind if I come in?" Without waiting for an answer, he pushed his way in past a startled Amy.
"Why no, Doctor. Do come in, Doctor," Amy said sarcastically to the empty stoop outside. She slammed the door shut, turned around and shot a squirt or two at the Doctor's receding back.
"Is it raining in here?" called the Doctor. "No, of course not," he muttered. The Doctor took off his Stetson, carelessly tossed it onto the coffee table and turned on his heel to face Amy.
"Why is it, Amelia Pond, that humans of this era are so averse to the idea of it raining inside their homes? The Romans used to have an atrium in their homes that was open to the sky. And speaking of Romans…." The Doctor paused for a breath and shouted, "Rory! Are you about?"
"Upstairs," came the muffled response. The Doctor bounded up the stairs two at a time.
Amy looked up the staircase, still peeved with the Doctor. "This isn't Italy!" she shouted. "People generally don't want snow and cold wind blowing inside their homes!" Sighing, Amy trudged up the stairs after the Doctor, and sure enough, there he was, standing in the bathroom next to Rory, practically cooing over the toilet.
The Doctor turned, beaming at Amy. "I love a bit of Victorian engineering! Here you both are, living in the early twenty-first century, surrounded by all kinds of electronic gadgets with microchips. That's a trend that will continue, you know. And in the middle of all that, you have this!" The Doctor waved his hand at the toilet tank. "A dead simple mechanical design still in common use, practically unchanged over the last one hundred twenty plus years – no electronics, no electricity required! Isn't it marvelous?"
Amy and Rory both stared at the Doctor as if he had sprouted a second head.
"Actually, Doctor," said Rory, "I was attempting a repair." He held up the universal flapper still sealed in its packaging.
The Doctor was disappointed the Ponds, as he thought of them both, didn't share his delight, but he didn't let it show. "Well then," he enthused, "let's get started." And with that, the Doctor snatched the universal flapper kit out of Rory's hand.
"Wait!" cried Rory, just as the Doctor tore open the packaging and pulled out the flapper.
There was another knock at the front door, followed by a single ring of the doorbell. "I'll get it!" said Amy as she turned to head downstairs, glad for the distraction.
"Rory!" said the Doctor in an accusing tone. "This isn't the right kind of flapper!"
Rory threw up his hands. "Yes, I was getting to that Doctor," he said, exasperated. "Which is why I hadn't removed it from the packaging." Rory could hear Amy talking to someone, followed by the sound of two people coming up the stairs.
"Hey! Look who's here!" said Amy with a big smile. Behind her was a man who resembled an older, heavier version of Rory.
Rory was suspicious. It seemed a bit convenient for his father to show just now. "Hi Dad," he said unenthusiastically. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here because my lovely daughter-in-law called," Brian Williams replied. As Amy shifted position, Brian spotted the Doctor standing in the bathroom. "Oh, it's you!" Brian said. "Played fetch with any dinosaurs recently?"
"No, but I like the way you think!" replied the Doctor, waving his finger. "Perhaps we could do that again some time."
Brian looked at the scene in the bathroom with a slight smile on his face. "May I ask what two grown men are doing in the toilet together?"
Rory's jaw dropped. God! When do parents finally stop saying the worst things, he thought to himself.
"Why repairs of course!" exclaimed the Doctor, completely unfazed. He held up the universal flapper. "Except this is the wrong kind of flapper."
Brian nodded his understanding. "Too bad you opened it, Rory. Now it can't be returned. Waste of money, that is."
Rory sighed in frustration. "Yes Dad, I know all about it. I daresay we will survive the expense."
The Doctor, meanwhile, pulled out his sonic screwdriver and began poking around the tank, the buzz loud in the small space.
"What are you doing?" Rory asked warily at he watched with apprehension.
"This isn't just good for screws you know. I can loosen nuts with it too. See?" the Doctor said.
"Just a minute! I haven't turned off the water yet!" exclaimed Rory. With a pop, a small stream of water began shooting out of the toilet tank, arching over and, fortunately for Amy and Rory, mostly landing in the sink.
"Oh dear," said the Doctor, watching the stream.
"All right you two," said Brian. "Out of the way. Let me get in there. Oh, and I'll need some towels." The Doctor and Rory obediently exited the bathroom.
Brian calmly walked in, reached down, and shut off the water supply to the toilet. "That's better," he declared. He looked up and saw both the Doctor and his son watching. "Go on," Brian said with a wave of his hand. "I'm sure you two have better things to do than to watch me."
The Doctor was still intrigued by the mechanical simplicity of the toilet. "Not really," he said.
Amy pushed past the Doctor and Rory, old towels in her hands. "Here you go Brian," Amy said as she handed off the towels. She turned back to the Doctor and Rory. "Go on! Shoo!" she said, waving her hands. "Downstairs with the lot of you!"
"Yes mother," the Doctor replied facetiously. He reluctantly turned and walked down the stairs, followed closely by Rory.
Brian looked at Amy, relieved. "Thank you," he said. Amy flashed him a smile, and went down the stairs herself.
"Well Doctor," Amy said as she entered the living room. "I assume there is reason for this visit?" She sat down next to Rory on the sofa.
The Doctor began pacing around. "First off, how long has it been? A day? A week?"
"Closer to a month," Amy grumbled, arms crossed.
"Okay, not too bad," the Doctor mused, looking at his Stetson sitting on the coffee table. "Listen, I had an idea for something fun – not a big adventure. How would you like to go to an old-fashioned Western USA Fourth of July barbecue party?" The Doctor smiled expectantly at Amy and Rory.
Amy reached forward and picked up the Stetson, eying it critically, noting the clean holes burned straight through the crown. She wiggled a finger in one hole. "This is the hat you picked up in nineteenth century Mercy, in the US West, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," replied the Doctor. He put on a smug expression. "Stetsons are cool. I suppose that's what put me in a barbecue mood."
"And how 'old-fashioned' are we talking about?" asked Rory. "We're not talking gun-slinging old west are we?"
"Oh no," said the Doctor. "Much more civilized than that. What I specifically have in mind is a fourth of July barbecue bash thrown by then Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson at his ranch in Texas."
"Before he became president? That would still be the 1960's, right?" said Rory. "That could be fun." He gave Amy a big grin. "Does that mean Amy should go braless?"
Amy hit Rory on the shoulder. "Any excuse, eh?" she said with a smile.
The Doctor gave Rory a critical look. "No, I'm talking 1961, not the late 1960's. No Beatles, no Rolling Stones, no Vietnam War protests, no VW buses painted in paisley colors, and no Hippies." He paused in thought. "There were Beatniks though. In many ways, 4 July 1961 will seem more like the late 1950's in terms of dress and attitudes."
He began to pace again, eyes bright. "No Apollo space suits yet; the space program was just getting started. By July of 1961, only two people had been in space – Yuri Gagarin and Alan Shepard, and Shepard's flight was just sub-orbital. In those early days, the Russians were ahead of the Americans."
The Doctor clapped his hands together. "So what do you think? There are plenty of period-appropriate clothes in the TARDIS to choose from, no worries there."
"Well," said Rory, glancing at Amy. "I am a bit peckish. I could do with a bite to eat."
Amy looked at Rory, amused. She gave him a nudge with her shoulder. "Is food all you ever think about, Rory?"
"No," he replied. "I can think of other things…." Rory gave Amy a significant look and flicked his eyebrows up and down a couple of times.
Amy's eyes widened. She hit him on the shoulder once again. "Ow! That was the same spot!" Rory complained.
Amy cleared her throat. "So Doctor," she said conversationally. "You know we're concerned about appearing to age faster than our friends. This party is just one day, yeah? Today is Saturday. Can you return us back here tomorrow, and have only one day go by for us in the TARDIS?"
"Oh absolutely!" the Doctor enthused, hands clasped together.
Amy and Rory looked at each other. They both knew how unlikely it was the Doctor would be able to keep that promise. But still…. The Doctor had been gone just long enough for both of them to want to take a chance. Travel by TARDIS was in their blood now. An unspoken agreement passed between them.
Rory stood up. "Let me grab a few things and we'll be off." He walked over to the staircase. "Dad?" he shouted up. "We've been invited to a party. Will you be all right?"
"Don't worry about me," came the reply. "I'll just see myself out when I've got this repaired."
"Thanks Dad! We Love you!"
It took Brian a minute or two for his son's last words to sink in. "Love you?" he said to himself. He slowly straightened from his hunched over position and went downstairs. The house was quiet.
"Oh Doctor," he said to himself. "Those had better not be the last words I ever hear from my son!"