It stung, watching Kurt watch Finn, stung like a thousand tiny paper cuts; yet he watched everyday.
He'd been watching the boy's every step since the assembly, since he first saw him dance, saw how graceful, how suave, how seductive he could be. He'd watched Kurt crawl across the stage, watched him shake his ass, watched him gyrate his hips and suddenly he knew that there was nothing more beautiful in the entire world.
That was part of why he loved Glee Club; it was one of the rare chances he got to be close to Kurt, to hear him sing, to watch him dance. A passion for music, that was something they shared, whether Kurt knew it or not. Though he'd scoffed and cracked jokes with the rest of the guys the day Mr. Shuster came in the locker room with the sign-up sheet, he'd secretly longed to write his name on the bottom of the list. He almost did - until Mike came back in to grab his forgotten backpack and caught him, pen-in-hand. He quickly scribbled "PENIS" and high-fived his fellow jock, trying to choke back his disappointment.
When he did join the club, he'd been eager to showoff his skills, to prove what a stud he could be. Here was a place where he could be in the spotlight, where he could be king, could shine, where he just might even outshine Finn. He would belt out a few notes, bust a couple of sweet moves, and instantly become the leading male, the frontman, the star. The kind of star that Kurt would admire, would worship, would love...
Of course, that never happened. The Gleeks welcomed him with open arms - then elbowed him to the back row to make room for Finn, the perpetual golden boy. Too late he realized he'd just been drafted as a space-filler to qualify for sectionals. He got "falala's" and "da da da's" and "ooooh's'" and "aaa's" and a few good dance steps here and there. Meanwhile, Finn got the solos. Finn got the attention. Finn got Kurt.
Still, he couldn't stop watching Kurt.
He walked boldly through the choir room doors the Thursday that Coach Tanaka had given them an ultimatum, watching to see if Kurt noticed him, if Kurt was impressed that he'd quit football for Glee. Kurt just kept staring at the door waiting for Finn.
He knew he was voting for Kurt before the diva-off even started, still voted for him even after he blew that high note. Kurt had been overshadowed by Rachel for too long; Kurt deserved the spotlight.
His stomach flip-flopped as he watched Kurt's face light up when Finn drew his name for the ballads. He loved that smile. He wished it was directed at him. He wished he could be the one to sing to Kurt. He wished he could punch Finn's head in.
Matt sighed. He should stop watching Kurt and focus on the new choreography. But how could he when Kurt was sitting there, all poise and elegance and beauty, smiling that soft, sweet smile...right at Finn...
Matt sighed again, loudly. Brittany and Mercedez glanced over at him. Kurt didn't. It stung.