DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TVD AND ITS CHARACTERS…

Although I wouldn't mind owing DAMON.

Just doing this out of pure entertaining…. Please don't SUE,

SUMMARY: Damon's only and last letter to Elena. He wrote this letter, never intending for her to read it. He just needed to write down his feelings. While looking through some journals, Elena accidentally comes across that letter.

Enjoy and Review, pretty please

To my Dearest Elena

Never thought in a million years that I thought I would be doing this, but here I am pen in my hand. There is so much I want to say to you. You seemed to bring out some many emotions in me.

I want to start by saying that I am sorry for all the horrible things I've done, I don't know if I have ever told you, even if I have, you need to hear it again. I am sorry for the pain and heartache I have caused you.

When I first arrived in town, I had two goals, first was to get my beloved Katherine out of the tomb, and second was to carry out a promise I made to my brother 145 years ago. I promised him an eternity of misery, and I had planned to keep that promise.

And what better way was to take you away from him. When I met you, you were just the human girl who shared the same face as Katherine. The woman that I carried a torch for 145 years. The same woman whom I had thought was waiting for me to rescue her.

The same woman who I had thought loved me as much I loved her, (wishful thinking I know. But I was blind, and a fool.

I had truly believed she loved me.

That night she came back, I asked her to finally choose, to choose me, to love me, and to finally be honest, and she did.

She told me, she never loved me and it was always Stefan, my dearest little brother. Everyone's first choice, but that's not really his fault. He surely didn't ask for it.

Believe it or not, we were once brothers, He was my best friend.

Remember what you told me that, I surely do. It will always be Stefan, It was always Stefan.

I will never forget these words.

I was already hurt and broken from Katherine's words, and yours was the final straw. Once again I was reminded that I am never someone's first choice, I wasn't Katherine, I wasn't my father's and I wasn't certainty wasn't yours, and never will be.

That night, I wasn't looking for a love confession, I know that you love my brother and will always will. I just wanted you to admit that there was something between us; I needed something to hold on, something that was real, just for once.

And when you shot me down, that was the last straw, I lashed out on you

You didn't deserve that.

That's me; I'm the impulsive and unpredictable vampire that just keeps hurting you.

You were supposed to hate me after that, and never want me in your life. I needed you to hate me, because I'm used to that. I'm used to people hating me. What I'm not used to are people caring for me, aside for my bother. Which is sometimes I wonder if he still wants to?

I couldn't blame him, if he did stop, after all the pain I have caused him.

I suppose you did hate me, but it didn't last, did i? You still cared; you still saved my life on several occasions. I still don't understand why.

I don't expect anything from you Elena, you don't own me anything.

That night that I kissed Katherine, thinking it was you. Before we found it that Katherine was back, and had pretended to be you, I actually thought you had kissed me back.

Later I found out, I was a fool. It wasn't you. It couldn't be you. I knew that, but I was just wanted to be true so bad, so I choose to ignore my raw instincts.

Once again, I let Katherine walk all over me, and destroy me. But don't worry; she no longer has that power over me.

I don't know when you became more that just her doppelganger, and so much more.

But you are, so much more, you are the brave and courageous, sometimes ridiculous stupid human girl who saw the good in me, the only person who saw pass this façade that I held for so long. You saw the man beneath the monster.

And along the way, I started develop these feelings, which I thought I had buried a very long time ago. You made care, and part of me hates you for that.

Sometimes I wonder why I never left town after find out that Katherine was never in the tomb in the first place, I had thought about leaving on several occasions.

After all there was nothing left for me here; this wasn't my home, not anymore.

But I stayed, because of you. The problem with lying roots someplace and caring for people, is you have much more to lose.

I found myself being protective of you, like a friend should. You were my friend, my only friend.

I wonder if it would be easier if I have never met you, never have come back to Mystic Falls, if I have moved from Katherine. I would have never come back to Mystic Falls, would have never met you, and would have never fall you.

But I did come back, I did meet you, and I certainly fell for you.

But I don't deserve you. I'm not a good guy, I'm not my brother. The only good I've ever done is protecting you, which I have failed at.

I promised that I would keep you safe, and alive, but I didn't. We didn't keep you safe. And I'm sorry for that Elena. And I'm sorry for all the people you have lost since meeting me.

I cannot bring Jenna or Uncle John, I wish I could, but I can't.

Thank you Elena.

Thank you for saving my life multiple times.

Thank you for pushing me to be the better man.

Thank you for caring.

I love you, and I will always.

I may not be your first choice, but you are mine Elena, I will always choose you, above all.

Be happy and safe.

ALWAYS

D

Elena let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. When she was looking through the Gilbert journals, she didn't expect to come across that.

She was render speechless, so many thoughts were rushing in her head, so many emotions, she wouldn't know where to begin.

She just sat there, clenching the letter in her hand, that's exactly how Damon found her.

"What are you doing", he asked her, she followed his eyes as they landed on the letter.

"Elena", his voice full of pain, and regret?

'Why?" was the only word that escaped her lips.

TBC…

AN: I hope I did this any justice, I'm not the best writer, heck I'm not even decent, and English is not my native language, and I don't have a beta reader, so please forgive me for any grammar error.

I would love to know what you guys thinks, and would love to get constructive criticism. I truly want to develop as a writer.

Anyway, till next time. This is mean to be a One-shot, but I can be persuade to turn it into a two or three series. (if you know what I mean).

And also look out for some Delena smut, yes I'm 18, and over, and it will be for mature readers ONLY.

Peace out my darlings