A/N: For the sake of parody, the DQ characters in this story (who, by the way, all belong to Emily Rodda!) will use contractions like "don't," "can't," "I'll," etc, in their dialogue. Normally in the books they don't, but it'll be much funnier this way! XD For this story, I'll also most likely to keep to ONLY humor/parody. (So fluff-story-seekers . . . meh. :3 You'll probably have to look somewhere else.) There will be some OOC-ness, but only some, as I'm still rather new to the whole OOC concept.

Soo . . . Sincere disclaimer (everything except what OCs I may decide to insert belongs to Emily Rodda and Scholastic). For the time being, I can't think of a funnier disclaimer. :I

PS: First chappie should be coming along soon!

Deltora Quest Reads Deltora Quest: The Forests of Silence

Prologue

"I'm sorry . . . did you just say 'Deltora Quest'?"

Doom was incredulous, to say the least. The idea of books that recorded the quest to save Deltora unnerved him.

The "nameless" trader—one of many, but one also from a place he refused to reveal—nodded eagerly. "That was my reaction exactly when I came here, to Del!" He laughed, a sound that annoyed Doom. It sounded like a noise you could get after trying to annoy Kree or any of the other messenger blackbirds. Or a noise you could get after trying to choke them. "I thought there couldn't possibly be any truth in those books, but then, here I am! Oh, and, also, you and the king and everyone else I have heard of are also in them!"

This is it, thought Doom. I've finally gone mad. It wasn't the Shadow beasts that finally cracked me, or the Shadow Lord himself, either . . . but a bunch of books did the job.

Then the trader, as if encouraging that thought, pulled out a box and shoved it over to the leader of the Resistance. "Take a look if you'd like," he said, sensing a trade on his hands. "And these aren't even all of them. I'm getting more, later on, when I go back . . ."

Doom ignored the trader and opened the box, picking up the first book he saw; The Forests of Silence. However, what annoyed him most was that none of the books were written in code. How ignorant could people get? If you were going to write about something like this, at least put it in code!

"How much for these?" asked Doom abruptly. The trader looked surprised but replied, "Ten gold coins. At the least."

And then to surprise the trader even more, the legendary Doom, most stubborn known person in all of Deltora, tossed the coins onto the table and left swiftly with the box.

(Later, of course, the trader counted the coins and discovered that Doom had given him two less than he'd asked for.)

Doom pounded on the throne room door. "Lief! I need to show you something."

As usual, the oh-so-very busy king of Deltora ignored him. No, wait. It wasn't usual. . . . Something had to really be keeping him occupied.

Doom decided to be direct.

"LIEF! I FOUND SOME BOOKS TITLED 'DELTORA QUEST'!"

The door opened and Lief eyed Doom warily. "This better not be a trick to annoy me, Doom."

"Why on earth would I try to trick and annoy the royal king of Deltora?" Doom shoved the box over to Lief. "See for yourself, then."

The following expressions that were displayed on Lief's face amused Doom immensely. The initial disbelief was soon to be replaced by surprise, and then confusion, and then suspicion. "Who would've been able to know about the quest so thoroughly they'd been able to write an entire series about it?"

"Certainly not anyone we're aware of," replied Doom drily.

Lief held up and examined one of the books and then asked the big question: "Well, are we going to read them?"

"Read what?" One of the many advisers poked his head in and frowned. "Your Majesty, what exactly are you doing?"

Then he caught sight of the book Lief was holding and his eyes practically bugged out of his head. "What is that?"

"That's what we'd like to find out as well," said Doom smoothly, "And now, if you will, do fetch Jasmine, Barda, Sharn, and Zeean. Tell them to meet us in the library, that it is an emergency and that it will be quite a long meeting. Understood?"

The adviser glared at the leader of the Resistance. He'd never liked the scarred man; the stories he told of surviving the Shadow Arena seemed fake to him. "And why should I let you order me around like a slave and his master?"

Doom gave the adviser an amused look. "Well, let's see. Maybe threat of death?" When the adviser did nothing, he added, "Or you can be removed from your advising status and become a farmer or something. Either way works, and I do hear the farmers would like more hands."

The adviser ran.

Doom sighed. "Are they like that when you order them around, Lief?"

". . . No. And, in case you weren't aware, that adviser in particular has a special dislike for you. And books."

Doom ignored the comment. "Let's go to that meeting, shall we?"

Review! ;D And remember, this is only the prologue!