Chapter 1: A night to recall

Renesmee

I didn't know what the hell I was doing. How could I not get things clear with Jacob? I was sitting on the bed looking out the window into the dark looking for answers. I loved Jacob and tomorrow was the day we were supposed to permanently unite as one. Tomorrow was our wedding day. But some part of me thought the wedding was too early…I needed time. Time to think. I should have said something before.

Ever since Jacob told me about the imprinting thing when I was old enough it made me feel uncomfortable. Like Jacob had to love me, like I had to love him, and I hated that fate, that pressure. I wanted fate to be wrong...but it was right.

I wanted Jacob to sort things out for me. Somehow show me the proof that he truly loved me not just a wolf connection. I loved him sooo much but I wasn't sure if his love for me was the same way my love was for him. I didn't really understand how imprinting really felt. But it felt to me as if it were unreal.

My vamp family didn't involve fate so why did mine? I hated it...being different.

Jacob has been here my whole life, always there. Although I loved him my parents, who were ironically forever a teenager, never approved of this…and neither did his. Billy and the whole crew of werewolves hated me. At first I took it very hard. Jacob told me not to worry about it, that they respected us. And they never did show their hatred…I could just feel it. It was all because some part of me was a vampire and I knew that.

Oh, Especially Leah. She hated me from the moment I was born. Jacob said she was jealous and I could understand that...being left with almost nothing...but it wasn't my falt I was born so why should she take it out on me. I felt bad for her but she was such a mean and scary person. Sometimes it felt like she was trying to take Jacob away from me. But Jacob never looked at it that way. At least her brother wasn't that way.

Bella told me I'd be changing faster than a normal human. Almost two times as fast until I turned 17. Then I'd stay exactly the same for the rest of my life and sure enough the day after my 17th birthday Jacob had asked me to marry him. And of course I said yes.

I love Jacob he's always so happy and warm. He was always there and I mean always. We never fought and I never got tired of him. He was my best friend.

Jacob was in the other room of this beach hotel. It was beautiful, it was my favorite color, a red décor with the most beautiful smell. I never wanted to leave. But I was gonna have to tell Jacob how I felt…and very soon.

All of a sudden Jacob came in and closed the door behind him. He smiled and sat on the bed next to me, staring at my blue silk lingerie. I could tell he liked it.

"Hey Ness" Jacob said gently as he took my hand. He wasn't allowed to call me Nessie after my thirteenth birthday.

"Jake, listen I" I stared at him but he still stared back smiling.

I was gonna "show" him…"show" him how I felt, but didn't. I could now control my talent in my body so that I could turn it on and off, and I could "show" using any part of my body. It was hard to explain how I trained myself it was just mind control. But unless I was in full control it always stayed "on".

Jacob still holding my hand leaned over and put his other hand on my waist. I was careful not to let anything "show". His face was inches from mine and he still stared smiling.

"Yes?" He said softly and I could see how happy he was.

I smiled looking down and when I looked up his lips were forced on mine. And I was pushed against the bed having all of his weight on me. It felt nice. Then his hands made it to the top of my lingerie pulling the straps down, still kissing me. I moved my hands to his pants and pulled them down…then my hands met his hard center.

He stopped and pulled his face far enough to look into my eyes. I was surprised to see the expression on his face. He looked like he was in shock, then a grin grew slowly on his face.

"You were saying?"

"That I love you" I whispered and then I lifted my head and brought our lips together again.

He was rough and so was I. My hand met his erected center and as I rubbed him vigorously. I was warmer than him.

"Ahhh..." he moaned after that, things went a little faster.

He flipped me back over and then pulled off the rest of my silky blue lingerie and he let his hands wander every curve of my body. First his hand reached my hips, then my inner thigh, then to my breasts. And he left a trail of kisses everywhere he went. When he got to my breasts I couldn't stop the moan in my throat.

I pulled his head up so that I could kiss him again. It was so hard to be careful and rough at the same time. I knew that I could break his neck in a second. And of course he could heal almost in the same second.

He hitched my leg up to his waist and then tip of his cock reached the tip of my opening. He stopped kissing me so he could breath then he held my leg firmly and then he moved slowly inside of me. I threw my head back into the pillow. His lips came crashing on me. This was our first and he was sure to savor every movement. He was so slow that I was gonna go crazy. He stopped inside of me and didn't make a single move.

"Jaaake" I whined without breath.

"What?" he said in the same short of breath.

"Please? You're driving me insane" I was still out of breath

He kissed my neck and my hands tangled in his long hair. He went at it again slowly in and out of my body. There was no pain only pleasure. He was definitely enjoying himself.

I pushed him off me so that he was no longer in me and he was sitting. He didn't understand for a moment then i came to him positioning myself so that his cock was just beneath my opening. Then, so slow that it drove us both into insanity, I lowered myself and his hands, that held my hips, guided me lower.

His hand went down my back while his other hand held my face during his kiss. Both my hands were on his face trying to synchronize with every movement his head made.

He moaned and my head was back on the pillow with him on top again.

"I love you" Jacob said breathing hard.

We were both breathing very hard. I tried to stop breathing but it only lasted a few seconds before I broke gasping for air again.

He flipped us over so that my head was lying on his chest. And my body was lying on his.

With my cheek against his chest I tried to remember why I was upset before but all my thoughts had vanished. I had so much warmth and love all around me it was hard to remember anything.

"I love you too" I said smiling and peeked up to see him smiling too.

"Took you long enough" He said with a chuckle he went on "I still love you more" he said then lie his arm on my back.

"I know" I said smiling as I pulled the blanket over us. "That's what you think."

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