YODA NOTE: A new 3 shot maybe to get me over my bullshit. CHEERS to PAILYRULZ for the prompt this is for you and I needed something new and I thank you for it. THANX to all.

CHAPTER 1 of 3: EMILY and PAIGE

We have been married for years and have two beautiful babies that are definitely ours. Madison and Lincoln are such sweet babies, but we can't seem to sync up as a family or unit. I think we stay together for those two gourgeous kids and I don't know what to do as a mother or a lover to my wife.

Paige is distant and has stopped making love to me. Our sex life is all but over and I find myself late at night reading profiles on a dating site after the kids and their mother have gone to sleep.

I have met someone online and I am falling hard for her. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I can't help myself. We have so much in common and there is a connection. I am married with children for fucks sake. I can't step out on my family, but wow this girl has me spinning and swooning with her words to me in every email.

I keep writing ...trying to find the courage and balls to meet this mystery woman but my family is what matters most. How can I cheat on my family? I can't! I hang my head laying next to my wife of ten years and I just don't know what to do. I want to hold Paige and love her like we used to but she will just pull away from me and I can't take that anymore.

I lay back onto my pillows and start to type. The nerves are starting to get to me as my hands shake and I stumble out words typing.

'Hi. I don't if I can do this as I am a married woman with children. I love my family, but I can't stop thinking about you.'

I hit send and close the laptop hoping I didn't make a mistake. The walls are starting to surround me as I feel a panic attack coming on. I lift the heavy dark comforter and ease myself out of the bed trying not to wake Paige. Walking over to the long wooded door I open it and step out into the hallway.

The one thing I know that will calm me down is the site of my kids. I tip toe into their bedroom trying not to make to much noise when I slip into the dark room. The night light and glowing stars on the ceiling make for a great path of light for me. The TV is still on because they fell asleep to watching "FRoZEN" and 'Elsa" once again. I turn after clicking the TV off and I see my babies. My heart melts knowing that if something doesn't change they will be children of divorced parents and I just don't wan't that for them. They have enough bullshito to go through.

I take my seat next to my little girl and rub her head. The older sibling of her yonger brother is having a nightmare and all I can do is sooth the little one with my soft touch. Madison is the spitting image of her birth mother Paige, and I fall in love with the older child everytime she smiles. Lincoln is her younger brother that I gave birth to but he is Paige's little man and she loves him more than anything on this earth. We have the perfect family on the the front of lies. I know better though. How long can I keep this farce up?

I kiss my child on her sweet soft forehead, making my choice. I love them, but I can't keep on. A tear rolls down my face and I have to run out of the room not wanting to wake up the children with my sobs and cries. I run into the hallway bathroom closing the door behind me and I break. I don't want to hurt my family, but I am so tired of being so alone. I cry out knowing that the thick walls will mask my hurt and pain.

"WHY?" I scream out into nothing and hear my own voice echo back at me in the huge hollow cold room.

The tears that taste like sweet wet salt start to make their way to my warm lips and I have to get back to reality.

'Get up Emily, and be the STRONG woman you are!' I tell myself picking myself up.

I get up and make my way to the mirror and sink. I find myslef looking into a mirror of hurt and pain and all I can do is just cry more. I look up and I stare at the girl I used to know.

"When did I get this way?" I ask my tattered former self in the mirror.

In the vast huge bathroom all I can do is turn the knob to the spout and bury my head into the cold water that runs out letting my dark face be consumed.

I lift my head out of the cold water to look into the mirror and I meet her dark brown eyes.

Paige could be an angel of darkness leaning against the door frame the way she is right now.

"Are you going to tell me what is wrong, or do I have to pull it out of you?" She asks standing there with only my light purple button up on. My heart goes pitter patter at that moment because fuck me, I have a beautiful wife, but I am hard headed and just say what I always do.

"No baby go back to bed... I was just having another panic attack. I am over it now." I smile, reassuring the beautiful woman standing in front of me.

I step forward to give Paige a kiss and push her off towards the bed. Being the woman that she is, she stops to open up the door to the kids room and I can't help but be in awe of the younger woman checking up on her babies. It shakes me to my core knowing that I will have to ask her for a divorce tomorrow.

CONTINUE...