Declaimer: I dont own Detective Conan

Words: 4 332

A/N: I was thretened to write this by my plot bunny... Otherwise it would never allow me to do my homework... All in Shinichi´s point of view. FemShin-chan, by the way... Enjoy!

Sometimes, the love doesn't go as you wish… your feeling just stay inside, never to see the light of the day. When someone asks you if you like someone, you just lie and laugh at them. When he passes near you, you just ignore him, blushing deeply inside if your eyes cross by some reason… However, you never show it, since it is a secret and impossible love… You stare at him, watch him from afar and worry on your own, never allowing anyone to see it…

Even thou you love him, even thou you care; you can't allow him to know. Because you know he don't like you the same way. Because he doesn't even know who you are… and that´s why you just dream about a meeting, an exchange of words or just a look… Sometimes without even noticing you aren't the only one feeling like that…

It was the first day of school that I met him, the infamous magician of Ekoda High school: Kuroba Kaito. It had been only by chance that I run into him, worried I would get late for school. I went against my parents and my best friends wishes when I transferred, all because I couldn't handle being constantly assaulted by fans and admirers… I loved being detective, and I kind of liked the fame; however, it was too much.

Therefore, after a lot of begging, I changed school. Using big dorky glasses and braids always, I hopped no one would recognize me. However, if I arrived late, it would bring too much attention to myself. So running as fast as I could, and notice that I could run pretty fast, I didn't notice as someone turned around the corner at the same time as I did.

Falling down at the floor, my glasses flying somewhere I couldn´t see, I almost hit the floor with my head. Luckily for me, or maybe unluckily, someone caught me just in time. Confused, my blue eyes opened, widen a bit as I noticed my savior´s face was really close to me.

Blushing, I stood up right away, apologizing fiercely. After all, it was my entire fault for being such an airhead whenever there wasn't a case. "I´m so sorry…." I repeated, finally noticing my glasses weren't on my face. As my eyes, which still hadn't left the floor, began to search for them, an amused laugh interrupted me.

"It´s ok. I wasn't paying attention to…" The teen who just helped me stated, picking something from the floor. Noticing they were my glasses, I quickly caught them and put them on my face. Only then, I looked up, blinking a bit as the teen in front of me smiled even more.

He was handsome, with messy dark hair and enigmatic violet eyes… However, for some reason he annoyed me, or more like his smirk. Bowing a bit, he extended me a red rose that appeared out of nowhere. "Kuroba Kaito, magician extraordinaire to your service."

Blushing a bit, I took the rose, smiling. However, before I got the chance to answer, a girl really similar to Ran appeared behind him pouting. "Bakaito! Why did you leave me alone?" She asked him, holding a mop dangerously to him face. For a moment there, I wondered if I would have to solve his murder, since she was glaring at him, a murderous intent enveloping her.

"Sorry, Aoko, I just run into someone." Kuroba Kaito apologized, and I took that moment to run away. After all, I still was late. In addition, I needed some time to calm down my fast beating heart, which refused to calm down. I still heard him call me, but I did not stop. In the end, there was no way I would meet him again.

About two weeks passed since I first meet Kuroba Kaito, and I really wasn't expecting to meet him so soon again… It had been only by chance that I offered myself to look after the library that day, since I had no cases and didn't want to go home yet. Moreover, there was no one waiting for me home, as my parents went to travel somewhere, so staying at the library reading seemed like a great option at the time.

As I sat quietly all alone, reading Sherlock Holmes once again, I didn't even notice as the door opened and someone came in. I was in my own world, my glasses lying somewhere under the desk and the annoying braids gone. For a moment there, the real world didn't exist. There was only my book and me.

"What are you doing?" Surprised by the sudden voice, I nearly fell down. At least I managed to garb the desk in time, only my book falling down. Confused, and a bit scared, I looked up to meet with a pair of violet eyes I have been dreaming with for the past two weeks.

"What are you doing here?" I redirected his question back at him, noticing that annoying smirk was back to his lips. However, I didn't really pay attention, trying to calm down my heart and garb my book at the same time. Moreover, I needed to free my crossed feet. If mom saw me like that she would start lecturing me about a being a girl meant.

"I asked that question you first." He giggled, putting a book on top of the desk. "I want to take this book home, Holmes-lover-chan." Ignoring my glare, he just smiled even more, waiting as I wrote the book name down and gave it back to him.

And before I knew it, another red rose was extended my way, followed by his smirk. "To a beautiful lady, a beautiful flower." Damn, I actually wondered what was going on with me. My heart just didn't stop beating fast at all, and I really had to use my best poker-face so he wouldn't see me blush. Taking the rose, I put it indifferently next to my book.

"Are you done now?" The rude tone of my voice didn't go indifferent to him, who pretended to be hurt. "I was trying to read something here, so if you aren't staying, I would like you to leave." Yes, I needed him to leave… so I would have time to reflect on what just happened. Maybe later I would give Ran a call… She always knew gave the best advices.

Kuroba started at me for a second, before his eyes moved to the sheet that I just filled in. There, written in an elegant handwriting was his name. For a moment, I wondered what he thought about, before I remembered something. I hadn't asked for his name, and I truly doubted he would recognize me without my glasses and those annoying braids. "Hey, how did you know…?"

Before he managed to answer, the girl who looked just like Ran appeared once again, this time even more furious than before. "Kaito…" She said, her voice caught between her need to yell at him and beat him up. In a second, Kuroba was gone, leaving an enraged girl behind. "Don't you even dare, Bakaito!" As Aoko, if I remembered well, left the room, I sighed from relief.

"No more library duty for me…" I thought, picking up my stuff. My substitute was there, so I could go home and call Ran for some help. I still could not understand why my heart beat so fast as soon as I saw him… Thinking about it, I quickly put my glasses on, walking slowly home.

Some days passed without me calling Ran, since she was busy with school and I didn't want to bother her. However, my eyes could not help but to look for him every time I went by his class, or just happened to see one of his tricks happening. And every time I saw him, I would look at him from afar for a moment, before reminding to myself who I was and where I saw.

At those times, I would sigh and move quickly towards my class or some quiet pace, where I would sit down and read a bit. Sometimes I listened to music, but I rarely did so, as I usually forgot my earphones. And since I wasn't close with anyone in my class, I just preferred to read my books. After all, it was strange for someone to transfer on the last year.

Nevertheless, the knowledge of it and the frequency with which Megure-keibu called me to give him an advice on a case didn't stop me from looking for him. Every time, my eyes just looked for him. I knew it was strange, but I couldn't help it. And yet, I still didn't know why I did so.

One day, about six days since I met him at the library, he visited out class. You can imagine the shock it was, seeing him there, at the entrance, looking at everyone as if he searched for something. His eyes never stayed at anyone, and I quickly averted my gaze to my book before his eyes met mine.

I knew what would happen. I would blush, and then he would ask me why I blushed. No, staring at my Holmes book was way safer. In addition, I really doubted he would be looking for me. After all, we only met twice, and I never said him my name.

Trying to read my book, completely ignoring his presence at the room, my heart stopped for some seconds when a red rose blocked my sigh. Surprised, I quickly looked up, just to meet his violet eyes and that not-so-annoying-anymore smile. "Hello there."

My first thought was to kick him and run away, who knows why. However, I quickly repressed that feeling, smiling a little bit back. "Hi. Is something wrong?" Ok, I would act as my mom taught me… According to her, girls should be nice, with good manners and always have a kind smile on. Resuming, be someone completely different from my real self.

As I accepted the rose, he smiled even more. "We have met before." He stated, and I worked really hard to keep my kind smile on while fighting against the desire to run. I was a detective who fought against the worst criminals without fearing them… So why was I afraid of him? "However, you run before you introduced yourself."

Ah, so he hadn't recognized me… A bit sad, I stood up and bowed gently. Well, at least I should thank my mom for teaching me proper manners. "My name is Edogawa Shinichi." I skilfully lied, remembering the name my mom had given me. Of course, the principal of the school knew the truth, but he agreed to let me attend school under that name. "I was late and had no time to introduce myself earlier."

That was a lie… I just didn't want him to know my name. Simple as that…. Wait, now that I thought about it, why did I run again? At that moment, it made some sense… Now, not so much.

"Nice to meet you, Shin-chan." Ok, I know I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't stop my eyes from narrowing dangerously when he called me that. The only person who called me Shin-chan was my mom, and she did it only when she wanted to annoy me.

His eyes quickly locked with mine in suspicion, before they flew to my Holmes book I had been reading. And then, I remembered: that was the exact book I had been reading when I met him at the library. Gulping, feeling nervous all of sudden, I notice as his eyes flew my way one again. "Could you be…?"

Once again, before he managed to say what he wanted, that Aoko girl appeared with the mop. "KAITO!" She yelled, and I froze as a statute. That tone of voice and face reminded me too much of Ran… and the times she had been angry with me. "How dare you color Hakuba´s hair in pink?" The girl asked, aiming the mop directly into Kaito´s face.

However, he dodged it, garbing me by my waits as he took me out of the danger zone skilfully. "Calm down, he will get it off by the end of the week." I heard his voice way to close to my ear, and fought against the blush. I really was grateful for not being hit with a mop, but did he really have to hold me so close to him? I bet he could hear my heart… Even I could hear it, so loud it was.

"BY THE END OF THE WEEK? I´ll kill you, Kuroba Kaito!" As fast as he got near me, he disappeared, only a faint laugh left behind. Confused, I turned around in time to see him reach the class doors, waving me a good bye as he apologized for the mess. Aoko followed him, and I slowly went back to my seat, trying to calm down.

He had been so close to me… So, so close… "Kaito and Aoko are at it again?" One of my classmates said, joining the collective laugher. "They are going out, right?" While I pretended I didn't care, the truth is I was listening really carefully.

"I think so." One of them said, and the others just sighed. "I mean, I saw them the previous Sunday together at the amusement park… So they must be going out." Those words hurt me for some reason, as I imagined the scene. Kaito and Aoko walking together, hand in hand, laughing at each other, kissing each other…

Hitting the table, I stood up angry. The class felt silent, every eye on me. However, I couldn't care less. I didn't know why, but I felt hurt and betrayed by it. Quickly gathering my things, I went out of the room right when the teacher appeared. "Egodawa, where are you going?" My teacher asked, but I just ignored him.

I needed to call Ran. I couldn't understand, I just couldn't understand why I felt like crying, why my hear hurt, why I felt furious. It wasn't normal, and I just couldn't figure it out! I was a detective, and a good one, if media was anything to relay on; but even then, I couldn't figure why I felt so betrayed. So what if he had a girlfriend? What if he didn´t like me?

"Like me?" Frowning, getting even more confused, I didn't even notice as I passed near his class. My thought were confusing me, my feelings threatening to take over me… Taking out my phone, I quickly dialed her number. If my memory didn't fail me, she had ended her classes for that day about an hour ago. Knowing Ran would help me with my problem, I quietly waited as I walked home, completely no aware of someone´s piercing gaze.

Two more weeks passed since I talked with Ran, and I still wished I hadn't done it. I knew she was right, I knew what she said was true… But even then, I wished she was wrong.

I hadn't seen nor met Kaito again, avoiding his classroom on purpose. However, even then I couldn´t help but gaze him from afar, smiling a bit every time I saw him. I liked him. Me, Kudo Shinichi, liked the infamous Kuroba Kaito, Ekoda´s worst nightmare. I saw some of his tricks, and his pranks; and even now I still didn't know why I liked him.

However, I knew that love was hopeless. He had a loved girlfriend, Nakamori Aoko, and they got along pretty well, except the times she tried to kill him because he did something stupid. I saw them together one time, having to leave school right away… After all, I hated showing my emotions to anyone… Not even Ran saw me when I first cried, unable to hold it down.

I knew it was strange, different from my usual self to cry but… the fact I fell in love was already strange enough. Sitting at the roof, my glasses hidden and my long brown hair free to fly with the wind, I tried to think of nothing. It was lunchtime, but I didn't feel like eating… Honestly, Ran and mom were right. Broken heart hurt more than any wound.

Not paying attention to nothing, the sudden voice from behind me startled me as I jumped up ready to fight. I had "borrowed" the roof key, so there wasn't supposed to be anyone there but me. "Ups, sorry." That annoying and loved voice I had tried so hard to forget caught me by surprise, and I just started at the dark haired teen without saying a thing.

However, I quickly got over it. "What are you doing here?" Ignoring the feeling of deja-vu, I quickly made my way to the door, my glasses completely forgotten. Maybe I should have just done as my parents said and never transferred.

Nevertheless, before I got the chance to leave the roof, his hand garbed mine. "Wait!" He asked, stopping me. As I slowly turned, trying to free my head, I just kept quiet. "Shinichi, why are you using glasses if you don't need any?"

Ok, now he got… How did he even know it was me? "I don't remember giving you the right to call me that." I coldly answered him, snatching my hand away. "Anyway, it is my problem, so don't butt in, got it?" I needed to be cold and despicable, so he would never approach me again… After all, I hated the fact he could make me nervous with only one glance.

"Oh… but…" As his eyes locked with mine, I gulped. They were so warm and kind I almost got myself lost in them. "Well, I was wondering if you… didn't want to go… with me to…" Blinking, confused with the whole situation, I just waited. "Do you want to go with me to the magic show next week?"

"Ah?" I know it wasn't the most intelligent answer, but that was all I could come up with as my brain froze. He was asking me… out? Even thought he had a girlfriend? Feeling suddenly angry, I glared at him. "Why don't you go ask someone else, you stupid magician?"

Ignoring the fact he had taken one step back, most probably wary of my look, he answered pretty quickly. "Someone else? What are you talking about?" If it wasn't for the fact I knew he had a girlfriend, I would have believed him. Damn, I wanted to believe he was asking me out… But I knew better…

It was amazing how just looking at him made me feel nervous, my heart betting fast… Why did he have to be my first love? Why did I have to meet him? I didn't want them, I didn't want those feelings which only hurt me more and more…

Taking one-step towards him, trying to suppress the tears in my eyes, I slapped him. "Go with you loved girlfriend, you stupid play-boy! Go die!" It was all I managed to formulate as I run out of there, going home right away. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to hear his name nor even think about him. For me, he was dead.

How many times had I said to Sonoko skipping school was bad? Thousands… and if she knew I had skipped a week of school, she would kill me. Not that I minded… The me right now was more dead than alive. I had called him an idiot and hit him without thinking… And he didn't even know me!

For the first time in ages, I felt afraid of going to school… What if we met once again and he yelled at me? I didn't want to see him, and yet I wanted to see him. I hated him, I despised him… And at the same time I loved him. Those feelings were uncontrollable, completely different, contradicting… They ripped me apart, as I fought against myself. And guess who was losing?

"You need to get away from home!" Ran stated, opening my wardrobe. She had just arrived, waking me up and talking about some show. However I wasn't in the mood for it. "Don't be silly. You need to go out, to refresh yourself. Otherwise, nothing will change."

I had tried to argue, but she just gave me clothes and forced me to take a bath. And in less than an hour, I was out of the house, travelling somewhere with Ran and her dad. He had promised her he would take her to a show, while she forced me to go with her.

Currently dressed in a white short dress, platform shoes and a cute red jacket, I just stared bored out of the window. It was annoying, the light of day. Why did everything have to appear so happy while I was drowning in my own sadness?

Sighing, slowly getting out of the car, I hadn't even noticed where I was going. Ran did everything. Pay for the tickets, lead us to our seats, buy something to eat while we waited… And while she did it all, I just started at nothing. Not even a good murder case managed to lift my spirit.

"I will be right back." Maybe if I had paid some attention, I would have noticed the strange smile she sent me. However, I was too tired to care. Actually, it didn't even matter. Closing my eyes, hopping I would just fall asleep like that, I heard that someone sat near me. But since I thought it was Ran, I didn't open my eyes.

That is, until that person spoke. "What are you doing here, Shin-chan?" That voice, that question… I must be hearing things!

Opening my blue eyes surprised, I quickly looked to my left, where the well-known teen named Kaito sat smirking. His eyes locked with mine, and a red rose appeared in his hand as he extended it to me. "Nice too meet you." He said, but I didn't pay him anymore attention.

How dared he appear near me after what he did? No, wait, what was he even doing there? Narrowing my eyes, I stood up and left my seat, the red jacket forgotten. I would so kill Ran after this… I knew I should have never left my room. "Wait!" He called, but I just ignored him walking after.

For all I knew, he could go die. That laying, cheating bastard… Could it be he was here with his girlfriend? Damn, he really had no shame at all. "Wait!" He yelled again, catching my hand and pulling me towards him.

For a moment there, no one said a thing. We were the only one out-side, as everyone else was watching the show magic. I could hear my heart beat fast, but the betrayal was still there. I knew he didn't betray me, since we never were close to begin with, but feelings were irrational.

"Let go." I ordered, fighting against the warm arms that warped around me. However, he just ignored me, holding me even closer. "LET GO!" I demanded once again, and he just laughed a bit.

"Do you know how long I dreamt about this?" He whispered, and I froze. Had he read my thoughts or it was only a coincidence? "But you always run away from me… So forget it, I wont let you go. If I do, you will disappear like always."

"Let me go…" I mumbled, starting to blush. "Go and hug your girlfriend, idiot…" I could hear him stop breathing for a moment, and just ignored it. "You stupid, cheating bastard…"

"Girlfriend?" As he his grip around me loosen, I managed to break free. However, before I run away, his hand caught mine once again. For some reason, he was really angry. "I don't have a girlfriend."

"Don't lie! I was told you are going out with Aoko…" His gaze widen, but I wasn't done yet. I could feel it, the tears in my eyes once again. "Some people saw you two together on a date!" Why did he do that? Why did he have to appear? If only I never met him…

Allowing the tears to roam freely, I kept talking without even thinking about what I said. "I know you don't know me, I know it´s only my stupid feelings… Why did I have to like you? Why did you have to date her? Even thou I like you so much…" Why didn't he understand he was hurting me?

And before I knew it, his hand had released mine. The world just stopped for a moment, my heart torn in pieces. That was the last stroke, the last wound… "Go away…" I begged, for the first time looking up to meet his eyes.

They were beautiful, those violet eyes. However, they were too close, and he quickly approached me. And before I knew it, our lips touched as he kissed me fiercely. I knew it would hurt later, but I didn't care. As my hands flew up, I kissed back, wishing we would stay like this forever. However, our lips parted in the end, his head resting on my collarbone.

"I don't like her…" He whispered, starting me. Kaito´s breath was hot against my skin. "Aoko is only my childhood friend… I went with her to the park because Hakuba, her boyfriend, was sick…" Blinking a few times, a bit confused, I found it hard to believe him. "The one I like… is the blue eyes girl I run into at the first day of school…"

His eyes rose up, and I froze. If what he said was true than… As his hands warped around me once again, and his face slowly approached mine, I blushed as a red tomato. "I love you, Kudo Shinichi-chan."

A/N: Wanted to write something similar for a while... Tell me what you think! Kaito´s side up next week!

Kaggami-chan