Title:
Domination...in bed.
Fandomitis: Death Note
Description:
Secks.
Rating/Warnings: L!!! I mean uh...R .o.; For yaoi, language
(aka, don't read this if you don't want to hear me say the word
FUCK.) a little Raito/Kira haterism, eventual character death
(lolol), HOT, KINKY BUTTSECKS, incredibly offensive and random-ass
pairings, and Lord O' Lord, of course...extreme pervish duo
fangirlism.
Other random information: This is another fic me and
my friend Sarah wrote together over Instant Messenger, this time of
Death Note. -gasp- Why, you ask? To poke fun at outrageous pairings
and random-ass uke kitty ears. Again. And of course, to laugh our
asses off. Parts in regular print are mine, parts in italics are
hers.
And now, without further ado...ON TO THE SECKSING :D
---------
L was awake, as usual. In a bed. Handcuffed to Raito.
Raito was snoring like the stupid pig he is, and L, of course, couldn't sleep.
Suddenly, L had an idea.
As disgusting, lame, and ugly-face that Raito was, he WAS handcuffed to him...
Raito woke up. L was kneeling besides him, looking down at him with those creepy eyes.
Suddenly, L hooted like a monkey and ripped off his shirt. His overly tan, shiney abs shone in the dark (ew tan and shiney D: ) as he screamed "L RAPE RAITO!" and thumped his chest.
...Raito pissed himself.
------THE NEXT MORNING------
"Ryuuzaki! Raito!"
The sound of voices and footsteps pounding up the hallway outside alerted a groggy Raito to the fact that he was now screwed. (in more than one way.)
He winced as the knob turned and the door was flung open...
"GREAT NEWS! We have some new information on Kir-"
Yagami stopped short. There was a long period of extremely awkward silence.
"...L! RAITO! by God...THAT'S THE 5TH TIME THIS WEEK!!!!" He shouted, smacking his face.
"AND IT'S ONLY MONDAY!" the task force chimed in, peeking out accusingly from behind him.
"mew? ;o;" Raito's Stereotypical Random-Ass Uke Cat Ears laid flat against the back of his head.
"that's it...YOU GUYS NEED TO BE UN-HANDCUFF-IFIED!" declared a rather sour-looking Yagami.
L, meanwhile, was still half-asleep. "hunh? secks?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.
L was next to Matsuda, keenly watching the screen. Raito wasn't doing anything interesting.
Matsuda felt very awkward sitting next to L after walking in on him.
Raito, being the idiot he was, started ranting to Ryuk.
"But seriously. I mean, c'mon! It's never just like...one time. We hafta go like, TEN times before he's happy. Do other people do that? NO! One time, and they're satisfied. But not L...we hafta go OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and..."
Matsuda coughed and felt his face turn red.
"My pants feel tighter." L said blandly.
Matsuda felt his face turn redder than before.
"Hey, uh, L, how is is that you're all calm during the day and randomly turn into a crazy, secks-obsessed rapist at night?"
L didn't seem to hear his question. He was staring at the screen.
Raito didn't know how much his ranting had turned Ryuk on.
L and Matsuda watched in confusion as Raito was bent over, and his shirt seemed to slip off by itself...
"R-Ryuk-kun...what are you...G-AH!"
:.BEND OVA' THA TABLE BITCH.:
...Rabid uke-mania ensued. Ohyes.
"nn...NNGHH...MEW!!!"
There was much cat-tail-flicking and cat-ears-having and uke-being. oo;
...and that's pretty much it.
:.SAY MAH NAAAMMMMEEE -HOOTS- .:
"R...RYAA...AAUHHH"
-meanwhile-
Matsuda was looking very uneasy.
"HEY uhh...R-Ryuzaaki...I uh..."
L was sitting there watching cluelessly, eyes wide.
"uh...I gotta go...to...the bathroom...KTHXBYE"
and Matsuda was out.
--------------------------- INTERMISSION!!! ('cause we're out of pervy ideas for the moment. Oxo;; don't tell Jesus plz D: ) Go buy some popcorn fatty, you really need it ---------------------------
13:12 Sarah: omg. I wanna write more
13:12 Sarah: but lyk
13:12 Sarah: no ideas
13:12 Sarah: BRAIN STORM WITH MEH, BTCH
13:12 Chrissy: same D8
13:12 Chrissy: YES'M
13:13 Sarah: mk. So...raito is getting graped by ryuk.
13:13 Sarah: and L is watching.
13:13 Chrissy: -nods-
13:13 Chrissy: and then L touches a piece of the death note or something? idk xD
13:13 Chrissy: wait
13:13 Chrissy: would he be able to see it on video then?
13:13 Chrissy: like
13:13 Chrissy: o-O?
13:13 Sarah: idk 0-0.
13:13 Chrissy: COMPLICATIONS D:
13:14 Sarah: UHHMMM
13:14 Sarah: -dead brain-
13:14 Chrissy: let's just assume yes. :D
13:14 Sarah: MK.
13:14 Chrissy: L: "THERE IS A 50 PERCENT CHANCE THAT you will piss off other fangirls. :D"
13:14 Chrissy: THERE IS A 100 PERCENT CHANCE THAT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK :)
13:14 Sarah: LOL
13:14 Chrissy: L: k .-.
13:14 Sarah: LOLOLOL
13:14 Sarah: LOL
13:14 Sarah: PWNED
13:14 Chrissy: XD ohyes.
13:21 Sarah: sowhatwedo? ..
13:21 Chrissy: idk? o-0
13:22 Sarah: i suggest
13:22 Sarah: we read fanfics :D
13:22 Sarah: for ideas.
13:22 Sarah: -NOD-
13:22 Chrissy: indeed...but that could make things extremely awkward Oxo;;
13:22 Sarah: true.
13:22 Chrissy: Maybe we ask other people for ideas? in like reviews and stuff 8o
13:22 Chrissy: and then wait nad like...see what comes in.
13:22 Chrissy: ...
13:22 Chrissy: LOL
13:22 Sarah: OMG XD
13:22 Sarah: FLAMERS
13:22 Chrissy: "OMGZ LIEK...MAKE RAITO AND MISA HAVE HAWT KINKY SECKS LAWL"
13:22 Sarah: ...misa's not even in this fic.
13:22 Chrissy: .-.;
13:23 Chrissy: LOL
13:23 Chrissy: I LOVE FLAMERS :D they're funny
13:23 Sarah: LMAO
13:23 Sarah: OKAY
13:23 Sarah: submit it
13:23 Sarah:D
13:23 Chrissy: yes whore :D
13:23 Sarah: kbtch :D
----
We're basically like...the same mind. XD So yes. 8o SEND US YOUR IDEAS DAMMIT! and if we decide to use it, you get...um...nothing. :D OK?
And if you want to flame us (which I wouldn't blame you if you did) that's ok too. 'Cause we'll just laugh our asses off anyway. :D
OMGOMGOMG XD
She just basically said everything...but lyk...as a side note, if we LOVE LOVE LOVE an anime series, this is what we do to show our undying love. I know, horrible, isn't it :D
MUCH LOVE TO THE READERS
POWA' TO DA SECKZNEZZZZ -raises roof- xD!
sooo anyway yeah. Be a really cool person and send us reviews, comments, ideas, hatemail, whatever floats your shit. We'll love you anyway, you fat whore :D