Teyla stretched out on her bed, and breathed a heavy sigh. Her life was completely out of hand, lately, between her responisbilities with the two connected but very different lives that she led. Her people had become excessively needy towards her in recent weeks, and she'd spent much of her time travelling between New Athos and Atlantis. On the city, things had already been tense with the recent change in leadership, and the relocation of the city, among other problems including one that involved Ronon's Satedan friends who had betrayed them, and a sickness that had gripped the city soon after.
And Teyla was exhausted.
She could barely function on missions, which had resulted in heated arguments with Sheppard, who accused her of being lazy. She let him blame her; she couldn't bring herself to admit to him how hard it all was for her; how she felt like crying all the time, but never did. So she let him rant, let him be angry, and hid her weary heart. She missed Dr. Heighmeyer; although she'd been apprehensive of the woman at first she had come to consider her as a good friend. The doctor's sudden, recent death had also shaken her more than she was willing to admit. She found herself wishing that this was all just a dream, and that she would wake up and find that she was a little girl again on Athos, waking up to her father's deep voice. But all of those wonderful dreams always ended, leaving her with the harsh reality that was her life and more tired than ever.
Unable to find solace on the city or as a leader, she turned to Kanaan. Kanaan was her closest childhood friend; and though never named her protector she counted him among them. She knew Halling thought himself to be her closest friend; but even he counted Kanaan as a brother. Halling didn't understand why she regarded Kanaan differently, and she knew that he never would. Kanaan had the gift.
Not as strongly as Teyla's; legend went that none had ever been stronger than she was; though she was one of a precious few that had learned to use it as she did. Kanaan did not; he did not train his gift like she did. But they had been the youngest of their time to inherit the ability, and so they had clung to each other, and bore the burden together that no one understood. They had always been closer for it, and she confided in everything in him; and so she did again, coming to New Athos to see him. But she found it impossible to be alone with him for more than thirty seconds, so they left for a world called Urange. They rented a room at the local inn; and he having slept across her doorway and shared tents with her all their lives, they thought nothing of it.
She sat on the edge of the bed, and Kanaan lounged next to her. She suddenly felt very foolish for asking him to come here; they were not children anymore; and she should not need to run to him with every problem...Bbut she'd wanted to.
Kanaan reached up and caressed her bare arm, sensing her distress. He felt her muscles bunched tightly beneath her skin, giving him even more of a sense of her mood. He often knew more about her by what she left unsaid than what she put into words; he seemed to pick up her feelings, and to a certain degree he seemed to feel them too. Right now, he sensed her indecision.
Teyla reached her other hand across her body and caught his, holding it by her shoulder she held the other hand out to him, her fingers opened. Kanaan took the small object she offered him, and she watched his face as he examined the pendant she'd given him.
"Thank you," he told her, knowing that the gift was at least a sign of respect. But he hoped that it was more. "But that is not why you brought me here." He smiled a little.
"I needed you..." she faltered. "Kanaan... no one understands me like you do."
"Teyla, what's wrong?" She sighed, and her eyes darted uncertainly away.
"I do not know if I can do it anymore."
"Do what?"
"Everything! I am a leader, but I also have a life on Atlantis. And both have become difficult lately. I'm just so tired..." she closed her eyes, and prevented most of her tears from falling. But one escaped and rolled ponderously down her cheek. Sitting up, with his free hand Kanaan brushed it away and cupped her cheek. But his gesture seemed to break all her barriers; this time, she could not stop the tears as she began to weep. Kanaan drew her close, kissing her eyelids gently, taking her tears.
"I'm so tired," she continued to whisper brokenly through her sobs. Kanaan stroked her hair tenderly, whispering sweet nothings to her until the tears subsided. He realized, vaguely, that he was probably the only person since she was a little child to ever see her cry. She'd learned when she was very young never to show her tears.
"Be still, beautiful," he crooned over and over again. Finally, he was rewarded with hearing her sigh, and she relaxed against him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be. You used to cry with me all the time," it had been so long ago, though, "Why is it different now?" but he knew what she would say; she should be stronger than that, she was a leader, she shoud not have allowed her emotions to overcome her... the list of her reasons went on and on.
"I am your protector, Teyla; your brother. You do not have to pretend anything for me." she looked up at him with something like longing in her eyes. Kanaan gazed into their endlesss hazel depths, and almost as if they were one mind he suddenly knew what she longed for the most, and that her desire matched his own. But he knew also that she would never ask; she was afraid that he wouldn't feel the same way. In an uncharacteristic moment of spontanuity he bent his head to touch hers, one hand on her cheek. With the other hand he reached out, and placed it over her heart, in an ancient Athosian request to have it for his own. He heard her gasp, and it didn't stop him.
"Marry me," he begged. "Right here, right now. There is no one for me but you." he remained that way for what seemed like forever, unable to look up until he had her answer. He was afraid to see what might be in her face.
"Yes, " she whispered finally. He raised his eyes to once again meet hers, and saw that she was serious. He raised his head all the way but did not take his hands from her face or her heart. Teyla copied the gesture, finsing their distance just enough to be comfortable but not so far that they had to sttretch to reach each other. For one last moment they were silent, looking into each other's eyes fot the last time as seperate people. By Athosian custom they needed no one but each other to perform the ceremony, to make it real; and Kanaan's lips began to move, and he started their vows.
"Teyla Emmagan," he said, "I take you as my bride, my wife forever. In sickness, pain, fear, hurt, healing, and joy I take you and I love you. You are everything to me; you are my life, my light, my world. I have no home but where you are. I promise myself to you forever." The strength of his words surprised her, the depth of what he was saying beyond his voice; she could feel his love enter her, surrounding her like a warm, safe blanket. She was trembling now, but she drew a deep breath and began to speak.
"Kanaan Anachi," she used her word for "protector" instead of his real last name, "I take you as mine, as my husband forever. In sickness, pain, fear, hurt, healing, and joy I take you and I love you. You are everything to me; you are my light, my life, my world. I have no home but where you are. I promise myself to you, forever. I will always love you." Kanaan leaned forward and she felt his mouth come down on hers as he kissed her lips.
Teyla's mind, for a brief second, compared this kiss with the one that Sheppard, over two year ago. And if Teyla was honest with herself, she was more used to that. It wasn't even her fault; she was just bold, unafraid of her surroundings; and she had many times just happened to be in the right place at the right time to be grabbed and kissed forcefully by the crazies. She wasn't sure that she had ever had a real kiss after her first love had been killed in a culling. But Kanaan wasn't like anyone else. He had equal passion, but he was tender and loving; he wasn't forcing himself on her. She was ashamed to realize that she hadn't expected him to be different, any better; but just as quickly the sweet pure love behind his lips erased all of her fears and guilt and doubts. This was all that mattered; perfection; right here, right now.
She gave in completely to his lips, returning his kiss.
ovovo
"Good morning, beautiful," Teyla felt the heat of Kanaan's breath as he murmured in her ear. She smiled as his beard tickled her hair.
"So all this is real?" she asked hopefully.
"As real as we are," he assured her.
Teyla rolled onto her side to face him, and instantly his smiling face took up her world.
"I find it hard to believe that you did not marry years ago," she said. "I know there was talk..."
"Just talk," he assured her. "I was waiting for you." That confession surprised her.
"All this time? How long ago did you realize?"
"When you stayed on Atlantis. I knew that I could lose you, and I realized how badly I wanted to be with you. You know I'd do anything for you." he paused. "What about you? I never thought that you would choose me, especially after Halos. I thought that if it was anyone, it would be Colonel Sheppard or Ronon."
"I love them like brothers," she said. "But I knew that they were wrong. I was just waiting." In truth she had never expected to marry, not until last night when she'd realized how much he meant to her.
"And now we are together," Kanaan said contentedly, kissing her softly again. "When are we going to tell people that we're married?"
"I do not know," she admitted. "I want to tell them on the city; on my own. But our people should know."
"Why wouldn't you tell your earth friends?"
"I am not ashamed of you," she hurried to clarify. "But it is hard. This is new for me; I need to know how to tell them first. And I do not want them to think badly of you."
"I do not mind that."
"They are already overwhelmed," she continued to try to justify her hesitancy. But as always Kanaan saw past the obvious reasons, right into her soul.
"And you do not want them to think differently of you," he guessed. "You do not want them to be afraid for you, and end your fight." she sighed.
"If there was ever a time that I needed to fight..."
"Teyla," he took her face gently in his hands. "I understand. Take your time with this; tell them whenever you are ready." He stroked her cheek gently, amazed at how much could change in one night. All it had taken was one moment of vulnerability, of confession; and now they had taken the Athosian marraige vow. They were married now. She was his wife. That realization that it really had happened, she was his now, made him smile.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked as his lips quirked slightly. His grin broadened.
"You," he told her, kissing her again. "Just you."
ovovo
Kanaan was awakened by the sound of screams. His first thoughts were of Teyla, of her safety. But she wasn't coming until tomorrow. Satisfied with her safety, he grabbed a knife and burst out of his tent; into a wraith stunner beam. Vaguely, as he fell, he could see not wraith but men running around and stunning his people. Then the world went black, and he knew no more for a long time. When he finally awakened again, it was to a voice that he didn't know. He sluggishly tried to open his eyes and sit up; but he was bound with restraints to a... table?
"Good, you're awake," he looked up at his captor and was surprised; he was like nothing that Kanaan had ever seen before. Not quite wraith, not quite human.
"What are you?" he asked.
"All in good time. Maybe one day you can ask Teyla about me. But we have work to do first." At the mention of Teyla's name, Kanaan began to struggle; instantly concerned for her safety.
"What have you done with her?" he demanded. The half-wraith laughed at Kannan's useless struggles.
"Nothing yet," he assured him. "She was not at the settlement; and unfortunately there is no way that I can get to Atlantis at the moment. But don't worry. Eventually, she will join us as well." he grinned. "After all, I need a queen." Kanaan was horrified.
"Don't touch her!" the creature seemed intrigued by his expression, and suddenly Kanaan had the sensation that he was naked, and that this thing could see his mind. He could feel something like a great hand in his mind, sifting through all his thoughts and memories for something specific. Kanaan was able to employ only the most rudimentary uses of his listener's gift; he had not made it a weapon like Teyla had, he did not know how to use it. But he pushed back fiercely on the hand, with all the raw energy that he could gather. But he felt the hand go deeper. Suddenly, it seemed to have found what it was looking for, and the sensation disappeared.
"So she is your mate," his eyebrows quirked a little. "Your wife, even. That is very interesting."
"Teyla is none of your concern!" Kanaan gritted.
"Oh, on the contrary," he answered calmly, filling a needle with a greeshish liquid and tapping out the air bubbles. "Her future concerns me very mush indeed." He leaned over, and injected whatever was in the needle into Kanaan's neck. It made his head swim and fire race through his veins, and he was certain that he was going to pass out.
"Welcome to the cause."
Strange dreams tortured Kanaan's mind; he didn't know if theycontinued for seconds or hours. Pain filled him, and he could feel himself morphing, changing into something that he knew he wasn't supposed to be. But the agony of his unconsciousness was nothing compared to the nightmare that he awakened to. His body had changed; not so much to erase his features but enough that he was distinctly different; the humanity in him was gone. And that same half-wraith thing was standing before him, nodding approvingly. It looked deep into Kanaan's eyes and touched is mind again; and he heard it's voice in his head.
"You now serve the cause," it said. "And I am your master." To his amazement, Kanaan could feel himself agreeing with it.
"Yes master." mentally, he warred with himself, trying to keep control. But his mind was overwhelmed by the need to obey this thing; and in the end the human in him lost; he had failed.
He could not believe how much things could change in one night.
Fin.