A/N: This was co-written by LaLaLullaby.
What would happen if Draco Malfoy and Cedric Diggory decided to make babies? We all know of course. They would hire Luna as a baby sitter, and she would teach them about Narnia. And when their daughter reachs her sixteenth birthday, she would be raped by Harry and Ginny. Then, she would start a lesbian relationship with Lily Luna Potter, but no one really cares about that dweeb. Anyway, he's the really sickminded account of their wedding day.
Cedric walked down the aisle, humming to himself. The bright yellow isle was decorated with weeds, as Draco was disowned by his family and couldn't afford shit.
Cedric thought it looked pretty, but then again he thought Bella Swan was pretty.
When he got down the aisle, he realised he forgot to put his trousers on, and he was walking down naked because no one ever wore briefs when you can magic yourself plastic surgery. (Magic yourself...bigger)
"Ooh, kinky!" Draco said, poking his manhood and making it wiggle. Cedric smiled with a wink.
"Blah- blah- blah, go suck some cock." Dumbledore finished, after five seconds of being a priest.
Draco got on his knees and started giving Cedric a blowjob. The wedding music came on as 'I Just Had Sex' by Akon and Lonely Island (you should really check that song out if you've lost your innocence).
After the reception, Draco and Cedric checked into a hotel, drunk. They immediatley fell on the sofa in the lounge, and started having butt sex. They were both enjoying themselves, until Harry came and joined in. They didn't realise until 10 minutes after when Harry turned up and said:
"That was a good night, fellas, see you tomorrow babes," Harry turned round and walked away.
Cedric and Draco gave each other dirty looks and held hands, heading out of the hotel naked. They went to a local alley, and continued where they left off.
"Put your bums away, some of us are trying to sleep!" the community of bums president said.
Draco and Cedric sat by a wall and started jacking eachother, painting the alley white.
Dictionary of slang English for those who are too Essex-like to understand.
Jacking - Jackulating (wanking)
Babes - I had fun having sex with you, let's do it again some time.
Painting the alley white - Spreading cum around.
Bum - Either a hobo who lives in an alley or an anus.
Magic yourself bigger - Make your penis larger.