AN:

I actually wrote The Emperor's New Clothes almost a year ago. The idea popped into my head one day, so I wrote it, but since no one had requested it, I kept it on reserve in case I got stuck one month.

Still, I have been itching to post it, so you can imagine my delight when Mystique84 requested it. Thanks for putting me out of my misery :D

There was once an Emperor who was greatly obsessed with his clothes. In fact, Emperor Erik was so fond of fine clothes that he paid no attention to affairs of state, preferring to spend large amounts of money on new clothes. The only time he ever went out into the city was to display whatever new outfit he had.

"I'm not obsessed with clothes," Magneto objected.

Gambit nudged Rogue.

"This coming from the guy who insists on wearing a bucket on his head," he said.

Rogue giggled.

Now it happened one day that two swindlers posing as weavers visited the palace. Ororo and Remy declared that they could spin the finest cloth you could imagine. The cloth was not only beautiful, but it was invisible to the stupid and those unfit for their post.

"Hey Stormy," Gambit said gleefully, "decided to return to your previous career as a thief, did you?"

"It would appear so," Storm replied.

Emperor Erik was great intrigued by the cloth, and decided that it would also be a good way to determine who amongst his people was stupid or unfit for their post.

"Anyone who falls for that is stupid and unfit," Magneto said, grumbling.

"Hear that everyone? Mags called himself stupid," Gambit declared.

So Emperor Erik commissioned Ororo and Remy to make him a new outfit from this magnificent cloth. The two swindlers were given gold and fine silk, and they set up looms in the palace. All day and well into the night they pretended to work on the looms, but the gold and the silk went home with them and for days and days they only pretended to work.

After a time, the Emperor was eager to find out how the cloth was going, but a part of him was worried; what if he couldn't see the cloth? In the end he decided to send one of his ministers in his place.

Thus it was that Minister Pietro -

"Oooh I'm a minister," said Pietro.

Ahem, as I was saying...

Thus it was that Minister Pietro went to Ororo and Remy's workroom. He stepped through the door and saw the pair hard at work on the looms, but he couldn't see any cloth on the looms at all.

"So, what do you think?" Remy asked, sounding well pleased.

"Well, it's ahh... umm, a most beautiful design," Minister Pietro replied, unwilling to admit he couldn't see it. "Lovely colours."

"Thank you Minister," Ororo said.

Remy and Ororo then proceeded to describe the cloth to Minister Pietro in great detail, under the guise of asking him what he thought of this or that. Minister Pietro agreed that it was quite wonderful and filed away all their details so that when he reported back to Emperor Erik he could tell him how great it looked.

"See, Pietro's the smart one," Gambit said. "Must get it from his mother."

Magneto rolled his eyes and sighed.

Remy and Ororo asked for, and were given, more money and materials to finish the cloth. This of course, served to make the Emperor even more curious and before long he had send another official to see the cloth. Minister Wanda couldn't see it any more than Minister Pietro, but she too pretended that she could.

Finally, Emperor Erik decided to see it for himself. A number of ministers came with him, including Pietro and Wanda. Of course, none of them could see anything, but no one, not even the Emperor, was willing to admit they couldn't, so they all praised the wonderful cloth, thinking that everyone else could see it.

"This is a pretty good swindle," Gambit said. "I wonder where I can find a rich man stupid enough to believe in selective invisibility?"

"You would," said Rogue.

"Some people just ask to be robbed."

Ororo and Remy told the Emperor that they would have his new clothes ready for him for the procession the following day. All through the night, people who might drop in could see Ororo and Remy using scissors and needles with no thread under the guise of getting the new clothes ready in time.

Come morning, the Ororo and Remy presented Emperor Erik with his new clothes and helped him to dress.

"The suit is as light as a spider's web," Remy advised the Emperor.

"You may feel like you're not wearing anything at all," Ororo added. "That's just the beauty of it."

So of course, Emperor Erik couldn't say anything, and instead once he was 'dressed' looked at his reflection in the mirror as if he was admiring his new clothes.

"Bet you two didn't know your papa needed help getting dressed," Gambit teased Wanda and Pietro.

"Doesn't surprise me," said Wanda.

"Nah, he probably just wanted Storm to see him in his birthday suit," Pietro joked.

Logan growled. Storm just looked amused.

Naturally, all the courtiers told Emperor Erik how wonderful he looked, and he went out into the city to show off his magnificent new clothes to the people. Everyone chatted about how wonderful the new clothes looked, for of course, no one wanted to admit they couldn't see them and be accused of being stupid or unfit for their post.

However, partway through the procession, a young boy who had been rather eager to see what all the fuss was about, looked out on the procession.

"But he hasn't got anything on," Jamie declared.

Thus it was that those very words began to spread around the city. Emperor Erik did hear the whispers, but felt he had no choice but to continue as if nothing was amiss.

The end.

"And now Jamie is scarred for life," Gambit said.

"Naked Buckethead! Ahhh!" yelled Pyro.

"I would hope he's at least wearing underwear," Rogue said.

"I'd rather he wore more than that," said Wanda.

"I don't disagree," Rogue replied. "But underwear is better than flapping in the breeze."

"I did not need that visual," Wanda said with a wince.

Rogue chuckled.