Carry Your Reflection
Chapter One: Slide
by Seishuku Skuld (skuldsai@magicgirl.com)
Series: X/Tokyo Babylon
Pairing: Seishirou x Subaru
Warnings: Mostly shounen-ai angst with one lemon scene...lots and lots of angst...but I have to give you guys a happy ending of course. I can't keep my beloved Seishirou-san and Subaru-kun apart, can I?
Author's Notes: I am still on my Seishirou x Subaru kick. Somebody help me. O_O Yes gods, help me. I don't know how long it will last...but I'm hoping the longer the better. ^_^ I am very fanfiction-ly productive when I'm obsessed, and there's just so much to write about with the Seishirou x Subaru relationship.
So here's another one of Skuld's madcap ideas...and her second epic fic. O_O I'm not good at epics. I hope this one at least turns out decent, ne? ^_^
Dedicated to: Miriya Valentine. Because her fics rule, and her Seishirou x Subaru roleplay is the best. ^_^ *grins* Now I'll shut up, because I don't want to embarass her more. ^^;;
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::These same old four walls.::
Subaru glares at his bare apartment. It is night, the thinning crescent moon shining through transparent clouds, casting a ghostly glow on the dark carpet of his sparsely furnished room. The young onmyouji frowns irritably, feeling suddenly caged and restrained by the seemingly teasing freedom of the clouds drifting in the soft breeze. Though it is night, Tokyo is still well lit, and if he searches the horizon, he can see the large lit beacon that is Tokyo Tower.
::Tokyo Tower.::
The place is hardly familiar to the Sumeragi, he almost never has time to himself. And when he does, he certainly has no reason to spend it in Tokyo's landmark. He closes his eyes, and remembers a particular incident, one of the few in which he actually had a job there. The ghost haunting the place had been a young woman; life had treated her badly, but she still found that she had loved Tokyo Tower, and the city itself. A much younger Subaru had spent the night there in the arms of what had been a dear friend. A night much remembered, not only for the encounter, but for the shared beauty of the sunrise over the sprawling Japanese city.
He opens his eyes, and the images fade. The stillness of that memory dissolves into chaos, and from that emerges other visions of pink sakura petals, and the smell of blood and betrayal.
::Hokuto-chan...::
A red-stained shifuku, and an ethereal whisper. Subaru bites his lip, to keep from cursing that name. That name which leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, that name which summons up white-hot blades of anger, which he never thought he possessed.
::Sakurazuka Seishirou.::
The Sakurazukamori. Caretakers of an ancient sakura tree, the result of a rebellious onmyouji from centuries ago, and a long line of assassins which fed the tree the energy it needed to thrive: human souls. Subaru grits his teeth, remembering the death of his beloved twin sister at the Sakurazukamori's hands. He can still hear her whispering his name, and he dreams of her pain at night. Her pain and his.
Exhausted from his reflections, exhausted of the same room in which he has sat brooding for the past few years, Subaru gets up from his bed, throws on his coat, and walks out. The door shuts with a resounding slam behind him, but he pays the loud noise no heed. There is a hunger that drives him tonight, a hunger which needs to be satisfied tonight.
He races down the stairs and into the cool night air. The streets are mostly empty at this time of night, and the few people that are around pay him no need. He does not notice them. To him, they are not important, negligible people with their negligible lives. Long ago, or so it seems for him, he might have tried to help some of them. But now, he leaves them alone. No matter what he does, or what they do, he won't make a difference; and they in turn, cannot help him.
He walks, not quite knowing or caring where his feet carry him. His legs propel themselves, one in front of the other, and over and over again. But he heads in one direction, one place he wants to be. One place where he knows the other will come, sooner or later. One place where he can at least be close to the one that was his other half.
::Ueno Park.::
The place is abandoned, shrouded in darkness, protected from light by the canopy of thriving sakura trees. The light wind stirs their branches, dislodging the fragile petals and throwing them into the breeze. They float down slowly, twirling about themselves in their own intricate dance, landing on Subaru's coat and hair, laughing gaily, clad in their dresses of light pink hues.
::Do you know what makes these sakura petals pink?::
The question comes unbidden in his mind, fragments of a memory now recovered. A memory from long past, of this same place and a dark-haired, mysterious youth.
::The blood of your victims buried beneath the tree.::
The Sumeragi's lips move in an answer. It is an answer he now knows, as well as if he had put the corpses there by his own hands.
The tree itself is the tallest of all the sakura in Ueno Park, towering majestically above the others, always in blossom, its petals stained a deep rose. He approaches it slowly, and it showers him with its flowers, almost as if in greeting. He knows what it hides inside. If he closes his eyes, he can almost hear them. A wailing torrent of voices in a macabre chorus, siren songs drawing him in. The voices are stripped of their lives, their humanity, and inside the tree they know nothing but the pain that captivity brings them, and an almost animalistic desire to share their suffering with those that are free.
Subaru smiles in the darkness, a soft sakura brushing against his pale cheek. He too, hides something inside. An odd, savage sort of urge.
::Revenge.::
Day and night this word has graced his thoughts, infusing itself in his mind, his brain, dancing before his vision and seeping into his dreams, accompanying the pain. If there was one person his once-gentle spirit hated, it was the Sakurazukamori: Sakurazuka Seishirou. Lying, deceitful assassin, who had entangled him and his sister in a deadly game of life and death he had not been aware of. Day in and day out, Subaru dreams of Seishirou. Sometimes, with a bittersweet film, he recalls the one happy year he had spent in ignorace. Other times, he imagines his battles with the Sakurazukamori, always ending in his victory. He swore to himself innumerable times that Seishirou would die by his hand. His blood would be covering the carpet of sakura beneath the tree. Everyday and every night, that name was on his lips, filling his mouth and rolling off his tongue.
Sakurazuka Seishirou.
He needs not wait long, for soon out of the darkness the form of the assassin materializes. He carries a limp corpse in his arms, the body of a young boy, probably out on an errand in the night. The scarlet ichor falls in thick droplets, staining the petals beneath his limp body. The Sakurazukamori instantly sees him, a solitary figure of white in a sea of pink. Seishirou smiles, his victim falling from his hands, landing in an unkempt pile on the ground. Its head rolls to the side, eyes staring off into the inky blackness; it sees nothing.
"Sumeragi Subaru-kun," the assassin says with a cold smile, a mere upturn of the thin lips. "It's been a while. How long?"
The young onmyouji stiffens, his hand diving within his coat, fingering several thin strips of paper. "Too long, Seishirou-san." He too has an icy smile, almost an exactly replica of the one worn by the Sakurazukamori. Almost. It still has one fatal flaw. "Need we begin with formalities?"
Seishirou's smile broadens, but gathers no warmth. He speaks, keeping his voice level, but letting a few droplets of amusement settle in. "How cute you are when you're so eager, my Subaru-kun." He puts his hands into his pockets, leaning on them slightly to give himself a casual appearance of nonchalance. "Do you plan to succeed me as Sakurazukamori tonight?"
"Only," the Sumeragi replies quickly, his words cutting at the heels of Seishirou's, "to avenge my sister's death, and put myself at peace." He makes no aggressive move, but merely watches his enemy intently.
Seishirou shrugs, tilting his head slightly. "I don't think you're ready for that yet, my Subaru-kun."
"I'll be the judge of that," Subaru growls, all the anger and hatred bottled inside that slim body exploding forth. His arms extends, and the ofuda fly forth, materializing into swift bird shikigami that launch themselves at Seishirou.
The Sakurazukamori is ready, however, and his own spells are quickly summoned to his defense. Subaru's attack is carelessly deflected with a mere flick of his wrist. The shikigami fly to the side, plowing into the thick carpet of sakura, kicking up a storm of pink petals.
Seishirou smiles as he reinforces this with his own illusion, and soon Subaru is stuck in a whirling tornado of sakura. "Seishirou!" he shouts, looking wildly for his adversary. He is nowhere to be seen, only endless miles of flowers and darkness stand in his vision. He hesitates for a fatal, deciding moment.
Tendrils, long branches reach out to him from the beneath the ground. They twine around his arms and his feet, wrap themselves thickly around his chest, winding around his neck. He cannot move.
"Seishirou!" Subaru gasps as he vines tighten, cutting off air and jerking him upright. Seishirou appears from the illusion around him, his cold smile still painted to his face. Subaru has the insane thought that he should rip it off.
"Well well, my Subaru-kun," the assassin speaks, taking slow steps toward the bound onmyouji, "I didn't expect you to lose this quickly. You hesitate too much. You shouldn't restrain yourself like that."
"I'll keep that in mind," Subaru grits his teeth, staring defiantly at the off-colored eyes of the Sakurazukamori.
"There won't be a next time, dear Subaru-kun." Seishirou's smile widens. "We're human, we all make a few mistakes."
"I'm waiting for you to make yours," Subaru hisses in answer, struggling against his bonds. He glares back at the assassin with all the anger and hatred boiling inside his thin body. Seishirou lifts a dark eyebrow, looking deeply in those shining green eyes. What does he see there? Anger? Fear? Hatred? So different from the innocent boy he was so long ago. What is he now? Older, wiser, more experienced.
Those green eyes no longer hold the wide-eyed wonder of childhood, but instead a weathered weariness that has seen much more sadness than most men of his age. They speak of blood, tears, and many hours of staying up late at night.
Seishirou finds the more he looks, the less he can tell of what the Sumeragi is thinking. Gone are the fleeting emotions thinly veiled by those glowing emerald orbs, instead they now hold a depth of fathomless darkness. Whatever it is the Sumeragi feels, it is all concealed within those defiant pupils. What an interesting boy Subaru has become. What an interesting boy Seishirou has made him. His smile fades and he places the cold, careless look back on his face. He puts firm, chill fingers at the young onmyouji's chin, tilting the boy's head up.
Subaru flinches at the touch, a soft caress that he dares not respond to. His breath catches in his throat, fighting down the fear of what Seishirou might do to him.
"Oh, my poor Subaru-kun," the Sakurazukamori croons, letting all the honeyed compassion flow into his voice, "those dark rings around your eyes," and Subaru feels a gentle finger traversing underneath his right eye, "they don't hide that you need to get some rest."
"There's no rest from you," Subaru bites back, his words catching on the heels of Seishirou's as his voice turns dangerously quiet. "Let me go."
"And where would you go, my dear Subaru-kun? Slide back into your old life?" Seishirou chuckles mentally at the idea. His little Subaru-kun will never leave him, as surely as those stars are carved into his hands.
"Away from you," the Sumeragi growls in response, seemingly losing all his energy. He deflates, his head dropping, his eyes losing their heat and withdrawing into himself. "Let me go."
Seishirou shakes his head. "Not yet, my dear Subaru-kun. Do you really think you can leave me? Do you really think you can leave the trail I have cut out for you?"
Subaru nods, but doesn't look back at him, his body hanging limply from the branches of the illusion. He looks like a sad, despairing doll. Seishirou feels his anger rising, and he immediately squashes it with all the iron control he possesses. Is Subaru-kun truly this miserable? Does he truly suffer as much as he appears to?
"You brought this on yourself, Subaru-kun," Seishirou says quietly. He lifts the Sumeragi's head with a firm hand. He stares deep into those verdant eyes which mysteriously do not reveal anything to him. He shifts his body closer, sliding next to the Sumeragi. "You need rest, Subaru-kun," he whispers gently. Like the old days. He chooses his moment, and passes his hand over the Sumeragi's eyes, closing them. "Sleep."
Subaru fights the spell with all the power left in him, but he is no match for Seishirou with the full force of the tree behind him. He gives one last struggle, and falls into the comfort of darkness.
End Slide