Hello everyone. This is my first venture into writing Red Dwarf fanfic, and this is my attempt at explaining what happened between seasons 8 and 9/10 i.e. how Rimmer became a hologram again and how Red Dwarf survived the events of season 8. Hopefully you'll enjoy it – I've been a fan of Red Dwarf since I was a kid (back when the first series' were broadcasting) but I've only recently re-watched my DVD's and got into it enough to write a fanfic. (P.S - Rimmer is my favourite character so there'll be a lot of him in this story, and he might just get a break for once in his life/death/whatever). Also, I apologise if there are similarities with anyone else's version of explaining away the plot holes – it's not intentional as I haven't thoroughly read many other stories about it. MoonliteShdow
Me2 Two
Chapter One - Situation: A Bit of a Bugger
'I told you this would happen,' Holly, Red Dwarf's computer said in his sluggish tone.
Arnold Judas Rimmer extracted himself from beneath the console where he was making some last-ditch attempt to fiddle with wires, and collapsed into the seat on the bridge. He looked worn out, annoyed and inebriated all at the same time. He leaned forward, staring into the computer's eyes and screwed up his face.
'When? Since when did you tell me this would happen you egg head? You see, I distinctly lack memory of a time when you warned us of anything useful happening. Most of the time it was something like 'want to hear the gossip about Andrea Baker down in supplies? She's having it off with the bloke with hairy arms and the dodgy moustache that owns the bar on H deck!''
'Well it was useful. You were going to ask her on a date. You'd have been alright if some bloke looking like Freddie Mercury had beaten you up wouldn't you? At least I was around to save your bacon.' The machine nodded, smiling satisfactorily.
Rimmer sighed and collapsed back into the seat again.
'What I wouldn't give to see that man now... we might be getting slowly eaten alive by microscopic organisms but at least we'd be going out on a song...'
'What, 'Another One Bites the Dust?'' Holly frowned.
Rimmer looked irritated.
'No you goit, that one, you know. Oh, what was it? Ah, that's right - My Way." He pointed at Holly's screen in declaration.
'That's Frank Sinatra,' Holly answered, almost accusatorily, 'Blimey, no wonder you could never get in at the cool clubs.'
Rimmer glared at Holly and then defiantly lifted a glass of scotch to his lips, knocking the contents back.
And that was the point when the world went black – mostly due to his head hitting the console.
Holly noted part of the floor beneath Rimmer disintegrating.
'Well... this is a bit of a bugger isn't it?' He drawled to no-one in particular.
...
'Well Krytes, has it worked?' Dave Lister asked his mechanical friend.
Lister, Kryten, Cat and Kochanski had just entered the mirror universe, landing in the Captains quarters.
'I believe so Sir, though I'm not quite sure where Mr. Rimmer has disappeared to..."
'Who cares where old flared nostrils has got to?' Cat scoffed, 'we need to get searching for that antidote fast!'
The four friends leave the Captains quarters and race down the corridors. It's not long before Lister sees someone familiar.
'Hi.' The two Lister's square up to one another. 'Well I can't pretend this hasn't happened before. How's it goin' man?'
'Am I seeing things here?' the second Lister drawled back. He had a moustache, and was wearing a boiler suit, 'you're me.'
'Yep, different dimension,' Lister said matter-of-factly, thumbing the direction in which they came as though they'd just stepped off a bus.
'Wee-eird,' second Lister grinned, poking at his counterpart's chest with his finger.
'Listen, has your dimension got a Rimmer? Curly hair, large nostrils? He came to this dimension before us – we're all searching for an antidote to this virus that's eating its way through our version of Red Dwarf.' Kochanski addressed the second Lister, whilst the others nodded frantically in desperation.
'There's only one man I know with that name - large nostrils, but he has long blonde hair and wears like a flying jacket. Hell of a guy.'
Lister, Cat and Kryten looked at one another in disbelief.
'It can't be.' Lister grinned.
The crew stared gobsmacked as none other than Ace Rimmer walks up the corridor, making a beeline for the second Lister.
'It smeggin is.' Lister beamed even wider.
'What's going on Spanners? I thought you and the chaps were heading down to the bar on H deck for a game of poker. You know the one - there's a bloke behind the bar with a rather magnificent moustache.'
Ace turned his attention to the group in front of him.
'What about your friends? Do they want to come too? We could do with some more players.'
Ace smiled at them all warmly, his gaze eventually focusing on Lister. His smile dropped a bit and he stuck out his hand towards the shorter, dreadlocked man.
'How's it going Davey boy?'
Lister shook his hand, realisation dawning on him. This might not be any old Ace...
But Ace was already shaking hands amiably with Kryten and the Cat, and stopped to compliment Kochanski.
'And who's this lovely lady? I don't believe I've had the pleasure.'
Kochanski seemed very impressed and a little breathless.
'I'm Kris. Kris Kochanski.'
'Ace,' he smiled charismatically.
'Yes it is, isn't it?' said Kochanski in her refined accent, assuming he meant their meeting like this was 'great'.
"Er no, I'm Ace." He smiled. 'Ace Rimmer.'
'Oh my gosh! You must be this universe's version of Rimmer!' she realised, 'no wonder you are so nice!'
Everyone shuffled, Kryten a little guiltily. Cat nodded, grimacing. Kochanski shrugged her shoulders at them all. But Lister was still smiling, knowingly.
'That's not just any old version of Rimmer, Kris...'
Lister and 'Ace' stared at each other, calculatingly.
'Rimmer? That's you isn't it?'
'Ace' Rimmer smiled, but this time it was more of a smirk. And before anyone could say another word, he was removing his blonde hair, revealing the curly brown hair beneath.
"Long time no smell Listy."
...
To be continued... please review and let me know what you think!