Disclaimer: as you know by now, I don't own this. Nothing. Nada. And it sucks, but what are you gonna do about it.
AN: originally this is a one shot... But, if you like it I might continue. I'm still working on my other story though, but I have some sort of serious writer's block there... It's driving me crazy. Anyway, blaba, I still had some ideas in my head and here's one of them. Now, I'll be a good writer and try to work on new chapters for "Don't let it pass you by" :) Please review this one, buddies!
Summary - How will Peyton and Nathan deal when they both lose someone special?
"Hello, stranger." I say as I walk over to the man sitting on the beach.
It has been a while since I last saw him. We used to be friends. Well in a way I guess we still are; we just don't hang out together that often anymore.
He still doesn't say anything and looks straight ahead. I don't know if he's ignoring me, or if he's simply so deep in thoughts that he doesn't hear me. I sit next to him, put my arms around my knees and lay my head down. For a moment we just sit there in silence. I turn my head towards him and look at him. He definitely looks older, but who wouldn't after what has happened. But as I look at him closer I can still see the man I fell in love with a long time ago. He hasn't lost that hint of attitude he once had. It just got joined by grief. I put my hand on his and am glad he doesn't pull away.
It starts to rain. I don't care and I'm sure he doesn't either. It suits the mood we're both in. It suits today. Because it's been a horrible day. Today, he and I, we went through hell, for the second time in one week. But today we went through it together, unlike the first time.
We had gone through that all alone. Not knowing how the other one was feeling. Not knowing it would leave us here, together.
It's been one week since I got the call. It was early morning when my phone rang.
"Peyton Sawyer." I answered, with a raw voice as I still was half asleep.
"Peyton, it's Lucas. I have to tell you something."
By the time he finished that sentence I was wide awake. There was a sort of, I don't know, fear in his voice that made all my alarm bells go off.
"What's wrong Luke? Why are you calling me at 4.30 in the morning? What's the rush?" I still didn't know what all of this could be about.
"It's Brooke, Peyton. She had an accident."
I could hear him take a deep breath.
"She didn't survive."
That's when my world fell apart. Brooke Davis, my best friend, was dead. My Brooke, my buddy, my dearest friend was gone.
"Peyton, are you still there?"
I nodded, because I couldn't speak, but then realised I was on the phone and Lucas couldn't see me, so I mumbled "Yes."
"It wasn't just Brooke who was in that car, Peyton. Haley was there as well."
That's when Lucas started to cry.
"They went to a concert together and when they drove home it was late and raining and there was almost no sight. They hit a tree just outside Tree Hill."
I couldn't believe what he just told me, but I heard him cry so I figured this wasn't the bad dream I still hoped it would be.
"You need to come back Peyton. We need you here."
"I'll try Luke, but I can't make any promises." With that I hung up the phone. I just couldn't take it anymore. My best friend was dead and Haley was gone as well.
Haley. Ever since she left to go on that rocktour I started hating her more and more. Even after she came back and remarried Nathan again, things between us never went back to the way they were. We acted normal around each other, but we weren't friends anymore.
Brooke had forgiven Haley, though. I guess they were closer now than before Haley left. I was a bit jealous of that, I have to admit, but I couldn't blame them. It was my fault that I pushed people away.
I laid down on my bed, with the phone still in my hand. I wanted to call Brooke, I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted her to tell me I was just having a bad dream, that there was no way she would leave me like that.
I called her cell, but all I got was her voicemail. And that's when it hit me, I guess. That's when I realised she was gone. Because off all the years I'd known Brooke, off all the times I called her, even if it was the middle of the night, she always, always answered her phone. I never left a message on her voicemail. Never. She was always there for me. And now she was wasn't anymore.
It was as if Brooke heard me, because seconds later the lights flickered. I'd like to think that was Brooke's way of letting me know she wouldn't be gone just like that. That she'd always look out for me. In some crazy, freaky way, that made me more at peace with the fact Brooke was dead. Because even though she was dead, but she wasn't gone. She would always be there.
I thought about what Lucas had said, how I needed to go to Tree Hill. How they needed me there. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. I knew I had to, I just wanted to pros pone it as long as I could. I hadn't been in Tree Hill for a year now. My life was here, in New York. After my interim ship at the record label they offered me a job as talent scout. So while everyone else went to college I was out in the underground clubs, looking for new bands to sign. I loved it, I still do. But there is a time and place when you realise that it isn't what you want to do with your life. And karma's a bitch that way, because the last couple of days I started thinking about quitting my job and moving back to Tree Hill. Thinking maybe I could apply as an art-teacher at Tree Hill High.
But now, with Brooke and Haley gone, that seemed like a stupid idea. There was nothing left for me in Tree Hill. Of course Lucas was still there, but he had his own grief to deal with. He had lost his girlfriend and his best friend.
Nathan and Jamie were there, though. God, it only hit me then that little Jamie had lost his mother. He was too young to know who she was, I mean, he knew she was his mother, but he didn't know who she was. What things she loved, which things she hated, what made her laugh. It made my heart drop, but straight away an idea popped into my head. That little boy should have a chance to get to know his mother.
I called my work the same day and told them I wanted to quit. They gave me quite a hard time, but in the end promised me I could come back whenever I wanted to. I told my boss I appreciated it, but that he shouldn't keep his hopes up. After that I went into my closet and got out my pencils and paper. I had put them away when I came to New York, never touched them since. But before I would go back to Tree Hill, before I went home I had to do this. I drew for four days straight, only to takes little breaks in between to eat and sleep a bit. It was like I was on acid or something, but I knew I had to finish it. It was my way of honouring Haley, because even though we weren't exactly friends, Jamie deserved the opportunity to get to know his mother.
When I was finished my living room was a mess. There were drawings everywhere and when I looked at myself in the mirror I scared myself. But I was finished. Now I could go home.
I called Lucas to ask him if he could pick me up at the airport the next day. He agreed and I was relieved. I had expected him to be angry with me because I didn't come home earlier, but knowing Lucas, he probably already figured out I needed some time. And I loved him for that.
I was nervous when I heard the cab blowing his horn the next day. That's my cue I thought as I opened my front door. I turned and looked at my apartment, yesterday I packed some things already and the next time I would be here it would be to move everything out. I closed the door and the taxi drove me to the airport. Five hours later I landed and my nerves were taken away the minute I saw the man that came to pick me up at the airport.
"Lucas," I said, as I rushed to him. "Luke, I…" Not knowing what to say I gave him a hug.
"I know Peyton, I know." He said as he held me.
"I'm sorry I didn't come any sooner."
"You're here now Peyt, that's all that matters."
I looked at him and saw tears in his eyes. It made me realise that I hadn't cried after I got the news from Lucas. Not once. Lucas took my suitcase as we walked over to his car.
"My mom is going to be happy to see you Peyton. Everybody's is going to be. We missed you, you know?"
"I know Luke, I missed you too."
After that we drove on in silence. It wasn't before long I saw the all to famous sign – Welcome to Tree Hill. I looked around only to find that nothing had changed. It comforted me to know that Tree Hill would always be here.
We stopped at Karen's café, and before I could get inside I heard an all too famous voice.
"Peyton, honey, you're here. I'm so glad to see you again," Karen said as she walked over to me, giving me the biggest hug "Come, let's get you something to eat. You must be hungry after your flight."
"Where are you staying Peyton?" Lucas asked me.
"You can stay with us if you want." Karen added.
I shook my head "Thank you Karen, but that's ok, I'll just go to my Dad's house."
Karen nodded "Ok honey, but our door is always open for you, ok?"
"I know," I smiled at Lucas's mom "If you'll excuse me, I just have some things to do." I got out my wallet.
"Oh no sweetie, don't you dare." Karen said as she put her hand on my arm "This one's on me."
"Thank you." I gave Karen and Lucas a hug and told them I would be back later to pick up my things. I walked across the street, to the office of Thud Magazine and asked for a favour there.
I spent all of Tuesday cleaning my house. My dad sure made a mess while I was gone. I didn't blame him though. He was working a lot and cleaning the house wasn't exactly on his priority-list. After that was done I started with my speech for Brooke's funeral. Both families decided to have a joined service and funeral for Brooke and Haley. Which was for the best, I guess.
It took me another day to write my speech. With every single line I wrote I thought about Brooke and our time together. That day brought back a lot of memories.
I was awake early on Friday, the day of the funerals. After I took a shower I got dressed and sat down in the living room. I didn't know how long I sat there, but before I knew it Lucas came in to pick me up. He acted as if he was ok, but I could see how he was struggling. Karen was waiting in the car and when I got in she gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. We drove to the church in silence.
When we got there it was crowded with people. People I didn't know. I guess they knew Brooke, or Haley, or both. But I hadn't seen them before and judging by the look on Lucas's face, neither did he. The church was decorated with purple and white flowers. The little purple flowers Haley loved so much and white roses, which were Brooke's favourites.
Every valentine's day I would send her white roses, each rose for the number of years we were friends. She loved it.
Haley's family was all on one side of the church, while Brooke's was on the other. The service began with one of Brooke's favourite songs, followed by one of Haley's. After that the minister started talking about life, and death. And how tragic it was that two young lives had been taken. After he was done with his speech, it was my turn. From what I understood I was the only who wanted to speak. Somehow it didn't surprise me. As I stood behind the microphone I looked around. All eyes were on me. I took one last look at my speech before I put it down again.
I decided to just say what was in my heart;
Brooke, buddy,
I'm gonna make this short because I know you hate it when people just go on and on and take up all your time. You have better things to do, right?
I'm gonna miss you. You were my little ray of sunshine when times got rough. You were my best friend. My rock. The one I could always count on.
I'm gonna miss you and it sucks. But I know you're here. I know you're watching over all of us.
Could you just make sure that Haley is there with you? So you can both watch over us? We need that.
Okay, well, be good up there B. Davis. I love you.
As I got back in my seat I felt Lucas's hand on mine, I smiled to him and squeezed his hand. Not long after that the service was over and we buried Brooke and Haley. I placed 15 roses on her coffin, one for each year of our friendship.
We all went back to Karen's for coffee after that. I was getting myself another coffee when a little child bumped into me. I turned and saw it was Jamie. I picked him up and saw Deb approaching.
"There you are. You know you should stay with grandma, honey,l" she said to Jamie, then shifting her eyes to me "Peyton, you were amazing today. That took a lot of courage."
"Thank you, Deb." I looked at Jamie, who was playing with my hair. "Have you seen Nathan? I haven't talked to him since I got here."
Deb looked around "No, sorry hon, I don't know where he is. He just said he needed some time, so I took Jamie with me."
"Ok, thanks. Here you go" I handed Jamie to her and took my purse.I found him at the beach.
That's where we are now. That's where we are sitting as I'm still holding his hand.
"Nathan, there's something I want you to have."
I try to get my purse with one hand, but it doesn't work, so I have to let go of his. I don't want to. But I do and get my purse to take out the book.
"Nathan," I try to get his attention. "Nathan, please, just listen to me for a second."
Finally he turns his head and I see those blue eyes for the first time in a year. Those blue eyes that used to have a spark. They used to be full of life. Now they're blank and break my heart.
"Nathan," I start again with an unsteady voice "I made this for Jamie."
I hand him the book. "It's about Haley, about who she was, what she loved, how you met and your marriage. Just so Jamie has something to help him remember his mother by. There's room in there for you to write as well. So you can share your memories with Jamie."
I look at Nathan, who looks at the book. He's going through it, through all the drawings I made.
"I'll just leave you Nate, I know it's been a hard day." I'm about to get up, but all of a sudden Nathan pulls me into a hug.
"Thank you Peyton."
- FIN -