Through a Windless Wood
CappuccettoRosso
Beta: None
Universe: Manga
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): None
Genre(s): General; Introspection;
Warning(s): Mild Adult Language; hints to Vol. 10, Ch. 8 & 9, and Vol. 11, Ch. 01
Disclaimer: Gokusen is the intellectual property of Kozueko Morimoto, and its publisher Shueisha. I am only borrowing the characters for my own amusement. No profit is being made in the publishing of this story.
Author's Note: Written for the CottonCandy_Bingo prompt: secret admirer.
Summary: Uesugi Ritsu wouldn't say he hated Sawada, or that he found him intimidating. Sawada was simply...(a primal forest with no wind to disturb it, only deep shadows that concealed the ruthless creatures that prowled the forest floor and a profound silence that was so...)...maddening.
Deep in a windless
wood, not one leaf dares to move...
Something is afraid.
-Buson
"And another perfect score for Sawada."
"Yeah, by now, I'm hardly surprised. Sawada is something…"
"And he makes it look so easy. I studied for two whole days and I still got a third of them wrong! I don't think he even tries half the time."
"He doesn't, which makes it so much hardly to swallow, you know? I mean, come on, he went to Shirokin. All those sorry bastards are dumb as fuck and Sawada is—"
"Him having gone to Shirokin has nothing do to with anything," Uesugi Ritsu hissed. He glared at his gossiping classmates. They flinched under his sharp gaze and immediately scattered with hardly a murmured. Ritsu snorted in disgust at their retreating backs. They were pathetic and so blind. He looked back at the board and automatically, his eyes fell on Sawada's name at the very top of the list. A perfect score…again. He looked at the name next on the list; it was his own. He had missed by one point. One freaking point separated him from standing at the top with Sawada. Yet, Ritsu knew that the one point wouldn't have mattered, not when it came to class average. Sawada would still be on top, and Ritsu, a few measly points behind.
Even before school started, he knew he would see Sawada, possibly on a daily basis. They had chosen the same field of interest, so they would more than likely share the same classes. Ritsu thought he knew what to expect from someone like Sawada, though they had only interacted a handful of times. He'd reasoned, foolishly, that Sawada was very much like himself: exceptionally smart, charismatic, a natural born leader, and most of all, ambitious.
That had been one of many mistakes he'd made concerning Sawada.
Nothing could have prepared him to deal with the force that was Sawada.
Sawada was all that, and yet the guy was something else that Ritsu couldn't quite grasp. He only knew that whatever that was; Ritsu didn't have it.
Looking at him, one wouldn't expect much from Sawada. Not with his obnoxiously red hair, or baggy clothes, or that perpetual slouch. Everything about him screamed delinquent, and Sawada practically reveled in it. He flaunted the fact he was an outcast; that he had come from the very pit to stand at the top, only to find the summit and its view wanting. Sawada sauntered the halls of Todai and looked at everything, at everyone, with barely hidden contempt.
Ritsu knew that Todai was only a means to an end for Sawada. While most of the students considered Todai their ultimate goal in life, the golden key that would open the world to them; Sawada considered Todai a necessary evil to be endured. Sawada had admitted once, almost absently, that if there was another way, other than Todai, he would have taken it in an instant.
It seriously pissed him off. Ritsu had planned out his life since the age of eleven, outlined every step he would take, all to ensure he would reach this point: Tokyo University. He had dreamed of walking its hallowed grounds, breath in the air that brimmed with prestige; history; tradition. He had always believed that graduating from such an elite university, it would only set up the first of many successes to come.
And yet…and yet…
Sawada didn't to see what an honor it was to be accepted into such a high-ranking university, the boon it gave a person lucky enough to graduate from Todai. Or perhaps, Ritsu amended; Sawada simply refused to acknowledge it, thought little of such things and brushed them aside like so much dirt. That would be so typically Sawada. After all, hadn't he rejected the elite Aotama to go to Shirokin?
His felt his jaw tightened.
Seeing Sawada's name on the roster of the students accepted into Aotama, his test score, and the subsequent rejection, all written in black and white—it had been a slap to the face. Ritsu remembered the moment; they'd had a hard time believe their eyes, much less comprehend why someone so obviously exceptional, (even then, it had been obvious to Ritsu just by looking at him that Sawada had it in spades), snub a great opportunity and go instead to a greatly inferior school.
The same was true now.
Ritsu knew of people that would give anything to be where he was. Hirota had applied to Todai along with Ritsu, studied for half a year and he still failed to achieve a satisfactory score on his entrance exam. Ritsu hardly keep in touch with his former school mates; however, he was aware Hirota had taken it badly, especially when Ritsu informed him how Sawada, from Shirokin, had gotten in with flying colors. Of course, Hirota was a complete idiot compare to Sawada, and well, himself. Still, it was pitiful to see a top student from Aotama Gakuen fail where a Shirokin piece of vermin had succeeded.
Then again, hadn't the same happened to Ritsu?
A wash of seething anger flooded his mind, clouding his vision for a second. He took a deep cleansing breath and took firm control of himself. It still burned just thinking about being beaten at the one thing Ritsu took particularly pride in: The National Mock Examinations.
For the last three years, Uesugi Ritsu had always earned the number one spot. Studying for that thing every year was a bitch, Ritsu admitted, if only in his mind. New material had to be learned, while old material was revised to make sure it was fresh. He put a great amount of effort into his preparations for the exam, sometimes at the expense of his other responsibilites. In the end, though, it didn't mean anything, since in two months time Sawada broke his record, shoving Ritsu into third place.
From first place to third…ah, how the mighty have fallen!
Some might point out that they tied in second place; so really, Ritsu was second in all the country, just like Sawada. Semantics, that's what it was. It didn't matter that some other person had beaten them both. That bitch was largely insignificant, because the challenge had been between Sawada and him; and Ritsu had lost by…two…fucking…points…
Oh, there was the burn, again…
His classmates were partially right though: Sawada made it look too easy. It didn't look that Sawada put any effort into his studies. Half the time, during lecture, Sawada was asleep, completely oblivious to the material being presented by the professors. Ritsu knew for a fact that Sawada didn't ask for notes from the other students. Sawada simply got up once class was over and left. He didn't linger; didn't socialize with the other students nor made to speak privately with the professor. Yet, once exam time came, he came in minutes before the start of class, took the exam and finished in record time. And his score was never less than perfectly correct.
If Ritsu was anyone else, or anything like his classmates, then he would have felt intimidated. He would be discouraged in the face of Sawada's…genius.
Actually, thinking about it, perhaps he does feel a little…
Ritsu stopped and considered that train of thought. He snorted, loudly. How ridiculous…!
What he felt for Sawada…
What he felt for him…
Well, he wouldn't say he hated Sawada, or that he found him intimidating.
Sawada was simply…
(A primal forest with no wind to disturb it, only deep shadows that concealed the ruthless creatures that prowled the forest floor and a profound silence that was so…)
…maddening…
"Well now…what's with that face? Are you trying to set the paper on fire, or what?"
Immediately, Ritsu clear his face of all expression. He hadn't heard Sawada approach. He looked around covertly and realized with a start: everyone else had cleared away, leaving just him standing alone in the hallway.
He turned to face Sawada. He was eyeing Ritsu lazily, a smirk hovering around the edges of his mouth. Ritsu tried not to glare.
Sawada glanced briefly at the posted sheet with their grades and Ritsu saw him dismissed it instantly.
He gritted his teeth.
"You do know that those are just numbers printed on a piece of cheap paper, right?" Sawada asked drolly.
"Of course," he answered, equally lightly.
Sawada gave him a level look. "That type of shit doesn't mean anything out there." He jerked his head to the side, meaning the larger word and not just the court yard outside the building.
Ritsu returned the look with a bored one of his own. "Yes. Your point…?"
Sawada did smirk then. Dark amusement flashed behind his eyes, (a shadow darting between ancient trees). "You're making it too easy, Uesugi-san." He leaned in and said softly: "Again." Sawada straightened and watched him.
Ritsu wasn't fast enough and his control slipped. He frowned, and the expression deepened when Sawada looked obviously pleased by the reaction he got out of him. He tried to reign himself in.
Sawada, done with him, began to walk away. He strolled past Ritsu, his tread light, his shoes hardly making a sound. Ritsu didn't look at him as Sawada went past him.
"I'm going to beat you," Ritsu called out, an unknown emotion rising up deep within. He didn't turn around to face Sawada. His nose flared and the hairs of his nape stood on end.
(An unknown beast paused as the silence turned, sharpened, and the beast bared its teeth, that were just a deadly)
"It may not be now, or during our time here. It may not even be metaphorically speaking," Ritsu smiled, widely, "I may even beat you, literally, but I will, one day. I swear."
There was a pause. Ritsu could hear murmurs coming from the classrooms.
"Ya ne, Uesugi-san."
(The old trees groaned and the sound echoed through the boughs. The beast darted away, seeking…)
Ritsu closed his eyes and breathed.