Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to any of The Offspring's Songs, of to any character of the WWE.I also think this is pitiful, but you may like it.

If you could only read my mind, you would know the thing between your ears aint right,

Couldn't put that wig on right, it's a little on the squint side, I can't lie.

Your hiccup, is your sirrup*, come around now can't you see,

If you may, lose that toupee,

I Want You Bald

Completely, rug-free (hey), Want you to be Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald

If you could only read my mind, you would know that I've been waiting, so long,

For you to finally say to me "See this wig here, it's away, it's gone",

Take off that carpet, bought from the market, Come around now can't you see,

Take it back, it's like a yak,

I Want You Bald

You Stupid lug, take off that rug,

I Want you Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald

Don't get me wrong, you must feel like you need a hood,

But that's what's wrong, I guess you just misunderstood

If you may, lose that toupee,

I Want You Bald

Completely, rug-free (hey), I Want You Bald

I mean it, We need it, I Want you

BALD

BALD

BALD

BALD

BALD, BALD, really BALD.

*I think it's another name for a wig