Author's Note:
First of all, this is going to be kind of long so skip to the end of the bold if you want. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings. ;)
This is my first fan fiction so I have a bit of trouble keeping everyone in character. Also the chapters are really short because I wrote it for my own enjoyment and have too short an attention span to write long chapters. However, because of this I am going to be updating quite frequently because it is easy to write chapters quickly. So if you value quantity over quality, congratulations! You came to the right place.
As for the content, you might be wondering where exactly the characters are. I like to think that they are in a sort of waiting room between the end of the game and the arrival in the new universe. I think of it as sort of a cushion the game provides to give the players a chance to relax and sort out their own problems. If you want a visual, picture a really large house with no windows or doors to the outside. Each player has their own room and everything they need to survive. I could have explained all of this in the story, but as I stated before, I am lazy.
Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are incredibly BORED. You are currently sitting on the floor next to your good friend KARKAT VANTAS who is immersed in a RATHER LARGE BOOK that could arguably weigh more than him. As a result of afore mentioned boredom, you peer over your friend's shoulder. The book seems to be a manual on coding, more specifically on viruses. Karkat is concentrating very hard, but seeing as he is still on the same page he was on ten minutes ago, he isn't getting very far.
You sigh rather dramatically and glance at your friend. He either did not notice or is ignoring you. You sigh again, even more loudly this time, but once again he does not acknowledge you. You take a deep breath and let out a deepest sigh of all and that seems to get his attention.
"What in the festering bulgelicking fuck do you want John?"
You shrug and he growls at you before returning to his ridiculously oversized book. Sometimes you swear he could be a dog, or maybe a cat. You always liked cats and dogs but they made your dad sneeze, so you could never get one. You wonder…
You reach out to touch him, ready to be yelled at, but he is so involved in his reading that he doesn't notice. It isn't until you rest your hand on his hair that he looks up.
"John, what are you…"
His words fall short as you begin to scratch his head. His body goes completely slack. You've never seen him so relaxed. He's always so uptight and angry. You hear a noise coming from the back of his throat. For a second you think he is growling at you again but you soon realize that he is in fact purring. You find this fact overwhelmingly adorable. You use one hand to guide his limp body towards you until his head is resting in your lap. The comically large book that had been residing in his lap falls to the floor. His purring gets louder as you get closer to his…
The back of your hand accidentally brushes his right horn and he suddenly jerks up and hops to his feet, bashing your nose with his thick skull.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing you ignorant asshole?"
His face is bright red as the blood rushes underneath his grey skin. You stagger to your feet, holding your hand over your nose as heat rushes to the spot where it unfortunately collided with Karkat's head.
"What did I do wrong?" you say as tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes.
Karkat's face flushes bright red and he begins ranting. You kind of zone out after a couple of words and just stare blankly as his face grows redder and redder. He seemed to get all worked up when you touched his horn. You wonder what would happen if you just kind of reach out and…
Karkat yelps and stops mid-rant as your hand suddenly closes over his horn.
"J-John... let go of my—"
You tighten your grip and he whimpers, falling to his knees. You find this very adorable and amusing.
"L-let go. I fucking mean it!"
You give his horn a tight squeeze and he winces, giving off a strange squeaking noise. It seems to be hurting him so you decide to let him off the hook. He sits on the floor, panting for a few moments before looking up at you. His tiny grey face is bright red with anger.
"John fucking Egbert! I am going to carve out your squishy human insides and feed them to your bleeding corpse's radioactive dog sister!"
He then proceeds to stagger to his feet, punch you in the face and storm out of the room. You cup your hand around your already battered nose as you watch the door slam behind him. You feel a drop of blood fall on to your hand from where he punched you.
Your friend Karkat is such a funny little guy.
Be Karkat