Sorrowful Seraphim: "Pretty angsty"…not even close…

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Hao.

Warnings: STRONG Language and Violent Blood Descriptions

Shattered

Does a story never start from the beginning

Whilst the seasons change

And nature grows?

-

Is it in the best interest of those damned on the Earth

To be swallowed by the corruption that they themselves set?

I don't know

-

I thought once I was almighty

That the track of my impenetrable mind could not be altered

But I was wrong

-

I believed above all else that I was superior

For I endured the trials of a trivial hell

And suffered the curses from a thousand men

But I was wrong

-

I was so close

Yet I failed

To the weak bastard that was supposed to suffice as my other half

And now I lay here in oblivion

My confidence destroyed

My soul broken

-

I realize another reincarnation will be fruitless

For I sense the end is near for the world I've been so foolish to treasure

Yet I wonder above all else

-

Why?

-

Was my only purpose to die?

To suffer?

To wilt in agony?

-

Was the source of my power only given so as I could fail in the end?

Could it be my destiny is one not conceived?

Was my life truly pointless?

Did fate forget my soul?

-

I don't know

-

It seems I know nothing anymore

My assurance is lost

And my mind can only relate to lingering emotions I felt at my third death

-

It wasn't the same as the others

I felt as if a part of myself was incinerated

As if my very way of life was in vain

-

Could it be?

-

Had I actually been wrong?

Was there such a thing as friendship?

Or love?

Or Peace?

-

Could a person truly care about another?

-

No.

No.

It…can't be.

-

For if that is true

Than my childhood was unfortunate

Then my dawning was unfair

It would mean that my existence had purely been created to suffer

-

No.

It just can't be.

-

It would mean that my mother's murder was simply…having bad luck

'Accidentally coming across bad people'

It would mean that the relentless torment was nothing but…being in the wrong place…

At the wrong time

-

It would mean happiness escaped me

Left me to suffer

-

It would mean the kinder feelings, memories simply passed me by

While supplying all others with their joy

And I was simply 'left out'

It would mean I was just eternally unlucky

-

No.

Could fate actually be so cruel?

-

Yet it seemed that this was the only explanation.

My life was pointless.

-

As the other's laughed and cheered their friends

And with their families

Had fun

I suffered

-

As the children played in teams

Completely unified in their happiness

I suffered

-

No matter where I went

Who I tried to befriend

I suffered

-

Yoh, my brother

Who had gone through similar childhood trials

But somehow he gained friends

Friends that supported him

That cared about him

That loved him

-

He had friends

That brought him joy

That were loyal

That would do anything to protect him

-

He searched until he found them

And now they are bonded

But I searched

My entire life

And found no one

-

It was what truly made me this way

It was what made me snap

But does it mean I was any less fortunate than him?

-

No.

-

It is the sad truth I have to realize

To gain true happiness

You must search

Until you find it

You must survive on your will until it embraces you

-

Some find it easily

For some it is harder

But for a few

It near impossible

But still possible

-

It they keep going

If they don't surrender to the darkness

Then they will find it

Eventually

-

I am a bastard

A vile, foolish, jackassed bastard

I deserved to be ripped to pieces

To watch as my body is sheared

To gaze upon the gushing crimson that flows from me

Because I know the truth

-

I have realized

-

I called them all weak

I deemed them unworthy

For their belief in friendship

Their sanctity in love and kindness

-

But I was wrong

-

Unlike my brother

Unlike Tao Ren

Unlike them all

I surrendered before I found my peace

I gave up before I reached the warmth

They are not unworthy

I am

-

For even in the bearings of hate they survived

While I was not strong enough to do so

I have no to right criticize their souls

For the actuality still survives

-

I lived one thousand years ago

While others found sanctuary

I did not

But while others were strong enough to find it

I was not

-

I am Asakura Hao

I am weak.

Sorrowful Seraphim: Oh my god…I'm actually in tears over my own writing…I...don't know what to say, just review the damn thing already…