This is a naruto/Full metal alchemist/Harry potter cross over. Enjoy!
This is just a random introduction that's supposed to serve entertainment purposes, if you want to read the story where the plot begins, start from the third chapter. Chapter 1 and 2 are all humor
I have yet to decide the pairings so you are free to vote. No Yaoi
Review plZ!1
Random introduction:
(An early morning in Konoha)
"What's up kiddo!" the ramen stand owner waved at his best costumer, Naruto, whom was looking extra energized this morning.
"Two large bow of miso ramen, old man! And be quick, I'm getting an A class mission today, don't want to be late!" Naruto answered in his usual loud tone.
"Coming right-up." The owner replied while swinging his towel over his shoulder and came back with the food two seconds later.
When naruto finished his food, he saw Sakura passing by, walking towards the direction of their usual meeting spot.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto greeted Sakura while catching up to her, but unfortunately he slipped on dog shit and landed face first before Sakura.
"Whoops, forgot that one!" Kakashi scratched the back of his head while walking his numerous nin-dogs.
Sakura watched naruto land face first before her, and considered helping him up for a while before she stepped on Naruto's head and walked over him as if nothing happened.
Never the less Naruto got up anyways and reached the usual meeting spot in no time. Greeting Sasuke with an almighty grin and rewarded himself a royal death glare from Sasuke himself that said 'I'm too holy to talk to a fifth class loser like you'.
But before Naruto even realize what was happening, his palm was already flying at Sasuke's right cheek with a crash landing followed by a thundering slap sound effect echoing in Sasuke's empty scull.
Although both of Naruto's hand and Sasuke's face were blood red, and are pumping with their pulse, they were too distracted to notice that because Kakashi just arrived on time! What on earth made Kakashi arrive on time? Two million thoughts were processing through both children's damaged brain.
After Sakura finally arrived, the team 7 received their class a mission from Tsunade.
"This assignment is very important! You three are chosen as representatives of the ninja art from the Western Magic Society. Different representatives from all over the world will meet at a magic school called Hogwarts and teachers there will further instruct you. You will be leaving about … now" Tsunade finished with the I-don't-want-to-see-you-ever-again face.
"How do we get there?" Naruto asked thoughtfully.
"I'm glad you asked!" Tsunade laughed "by plane and train…"
Naruto has never seen a plane before so he asked, "What is this… plane object?"
Later on that day Naruto found himself with a bunch of muggles inside a giant mechanical bird that is flying 8000m above see level, and he is now barfing horribly along with his teammates. In addition, with the delicious and nutritious food they served that helped team 7 stay green and blue all the way through out the trip made things much easier to handle! After 8 hours of flight to London that seemed like weeks, they finally arrived. Struggling not to use any chakra or jutsus to get away from the huge muggle crowds they managed to find a huge man waving the sign "shinobi" .As team 7 squeezed over, they were greeted by the giant.
"Hey, kids! You guys must be the rest of the ninja representatives…My name's Hagrid" The man said in a soothing tone and gave a benevolence smile.
"Hello Hagrid," Sakura greeted politely "my name is Sakura, the blonde's name is Naruto and the other one is Sasuke. And sir, can you please explain what you meant by 'the rest of the ninja representatives'?" Sakura asked in obvious confusion.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Hagrid apologized as he moved his gigantic body out of the way revealing Neji, Lee, and Gaara behind him.
"I'd never expect to see you guys here!" Naruto welcomed them with a face cracking grin. As usual Neji stayed all cool and almighty, he never bothered to answer. Lee was way too busy trying to send Sakura hearts and kisses which she desperately tried to dodge.
"Ni…nice to me…meet you…" Gaara relied and gave a small smile with tremendous difficulties, in addition of few eye twitches and fist curls. 'That wasn't so hard.' Gaara thought as he cracked neck. But that was before he realized all the ninjas have absolute shock and horror on their face.
'What is wrong with today? Is it the end of the world?' Inner Sakura started panicking but it eventually calmed 'ok, use the technique Tsunade taught me' Sakura took a deep breath and looked right 'Naruto is keeping his hands off of me and Sasuke…good' she looked left 'Lee's hair is still a bow cut and his eyes are still perfectly round…good' she looked up 'the sky is not falling… good' she looked down 'I'm wearing my panty…good…wait' she paused her thought as she felt a cold breeze traveling through her upper thighs 'oh crap…I forgot!'
"Sakura, are you ok?" Naruto pointed at her blushing face "You look like you got a fever."
"Ha…hehe" Sakura forced a laugh before stretching her 1 piece dress a bit lower.
"We'd better hurry; you guys got lots of shopping to do!" Hagrid announced while handing out a list of the needed material to buy "I'll bring you guys to the Diagon Alley where all England's best magic equipments are sold."
While Hagrid complained loudly about things such as stop lights and elevators on the way to Diagon Alley, The ninjas were very fascinated by the modern western society. They are found of the new technologies they're experiencing and they are so exited to learn new things… NOT! Naruto, Neji and Sasuke just stared and drooled at the sexy photos of hot celebrities, while Lee assisted Sakura with her new book on health & body maintenance.
The golden sun Shined furiously from the west when they reached a barely visible pub called 'Leaky Cauldron' between a lovely classic book store and a flashy record shop. When all of the ninjas stepped in side, all the chattering of the bar stopped. The people inside all looked at the children with excitement, some of them even stood up and bowed like the ninjas are famous or something.
"Good lord!" the barman of that pub gasped with his shaky throat "is this… can this be?"
The Leaky Cauldron had all of a sudden gone completely still and silent.
Hagrid rolled his eyes "No, Harry Potter is not with me this time…" said Hagrid dryly as he pushed the skinny barman back into his garbage bin where he belongs "These are the children that represents ninja arts."
Hearing a few 'damns' and groans, and in less than 1 second the pub went perfectly back to the way before they entered it.
"Wow… we're famous." Naruto muttered in sarcasm. Mean while Hagrid was counting the bricks in the wall above the dustbin. After a few taps on the wall with Hagrid's famous umbrella, it opened a passage way to a whole alley filled with magic shops, and magic users from all over the world.
"Right now is 6pm; you guys must be back here at 11pm to catch the train to Hogwarts that leaves at midnight! So that leaves…" Hagrid struggled really hard trying to do his math "4… wait, 5 hours to do all your shopping." He also handed out a scroll to each ninja and explained patiently "When ever you need to pay for something, show them this scroll so the money will go directly to Hogwarts and Mr. Potter's bank account but mostly from your incomes in the future. Meet you here at 11; I got more kids to pick up."
After the ninjas got over with their awes and amazements of this incredible alley, they finally decide to take a look at the material list.
It read:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
To specially invited magic representatives…
Uniforms: (optional)
Three sets of work robe of any kind
Three sets of battle robe/cloak
One hat of any kind
Two protective gloves of any kind
Winter cloak
Books: (optional)
Introduction to English…
Equipment:
Wand (optional)
One Broomstick or magical carpet
One pet
"Oh goody…there's lots of things to buy!" Sakura squealed happily while staring hungrily at every one's scroll "Imagine all the possibilities!" she finished her dreamy thoughts and put on the puppy eye illusion that no one can resist.
"Er… I think we should shop separately since everybody got different things in mind of what they need." Neji is sweating a like a pig while telling this suggestion and desperately tried to avoid eye contact with Sakura.
After seeing Sakura's eye twitch and hearing her knuckles crack Naruto decide to back Neji up. "Yeah, Neji-san's right! I think Sasuke-kun want to spend some quality time with you." Naruto finished with a wink.
The evil chakra from Sakura gradually disappeared. But after hearing what Naruto just said made Sasuke radiate killer sent. He activated his Sharingan and took out a kunai ready for battle, but that was before Sakura cracked his back bone by hugging him and carried his limp body into some fancy shop that is clearly too expansive for anyone to afford.
'Damn, I knew I should've killed him in manga chapter 238!' Sasuke cursed silently to himself while giving his friends the middle finger to wave good-bye.
Every one relaxed after watching Sakura until she's out of sight. Lee was, however, in tears, "How come I was never able to drive Tenten's hands out of my wallet like you just did, Naruto-kun?" Lee is now kneeling before Naruto in respect.
"Shut up, Lee!" Neji shouted "She was my girl 'till you stole her from me, you ugly shit!" Neji glared at Lee.
Somehow, Lee was now the one whose acting cool, he merely gave an unworthy glance at Neji but eventually said "Eat me, btch!" and slapped his ass.
After hearing that, Neji was beyond pissed. Chakra surged through his body when he attached both hands to the back of his head and humped his hips forward "Want some of this, Whore?" he kept doing it harder and faster in a thrusting motion.
"No wander Tenten left you! You're a horrible dancer!" Lee announced and started imitating Michael Jackson.
Naruto's jaw dropped while watching his most respected friends doing all kinds of inappropriate moves in public which happens to attract lots of attention. Gaara just looked disturbed by the images he is seeing. So they both decided to take action, Gaara dragged Lee and his protesting body away into the unknown with his sand, and Naruto just knocked Neji dead and carried him away to the opposite direction where Gaara went. And Neji happens to wake up 2 minutes later without any memory of what happened before.
"Neji lets checkout the pets first!" Naruto yelled at his last companion left and dashed into a crowded pet store nearby.
Naruto didn't find anything particularly interesting in that fancy shop. He didn't take great interest in the twin headed snakes nor the noble looking owls. But Neji, acting like an upper class man like he always did, studied the owls with a book in his hand.
"Some of these owls are very royal and rare; it will take decades to find one of these in Konoha! Oh look, they even have dragons in here!" Neji blabbered on about the history of dragons that Naruto didn't bother to listen.
"Err… Neji, I'm going to check out the other pet store over there." Naruto pointed at a clumsy looking store not far across the street "I'll meet you back here."
"Alright than, suit your self. You don't know what you're missing here." Neji answered without even taking his eye off one of the pets, he didn't know naruto already left.
Naruto pushed open the broken door that made a loud 'creek' sound, there's seemed to be no one inside. He felt a different atmosphere the second he stepped inside, it was lonely and sad. He looked around and gazed into the eyes of the poor animals here, and figured why.
"These are pets that their previous owner threw them away or died." Naruto looked behind him and saw a hobbit that is probably half his size speaking "Hello young one. I haven't seen a costumer for years."
Naruto examined one of the owls with broken wings and felt sad for them.
"I saw you came from the first class pet shop over there, and you seemed to be wealthy enough to afford one of those pets…" The hobbit said looking at all the people cramping into the store Naruto just came from "so than why are you here?"
"What are you, STALKER? Anyways, I have a friend of mine with me and I just can't stand him with all that pure blood shit." Naruto replied while bending down to examine a monkey's limp hand "Honestly who the bloody hell cares!."
"Wait here, I think I have something for you." the hobbit hurried into his shabby little storage room and came back with a white fur ball.
The little hobbit handed Naruto the animal for a full view of what it is. And it's a white puppy fox. Naruto squealed in delight like a little girl and hugged the animal so tight the hobbit swore he saw the poor thing's face turn blue.
"This is a very special magical creature, my friend. My father's friend's friend's sister found this creature in East Asia on a trip to collect demon data." The hobbit said excitedly "It's wondrous how that little creature never gets old! And it only gets bigger when you absolutely need it to, but only temporarily though." The shop owner finished with a sigh while rubbing the little thing's small cheek.
"What's its name?" Naruto wandered.
"It's… wait… what was it again?" the hobbit tapped his chin thoughtfully "Oh yes… is um…" The hobbit murmured trying not to sound stupid in front of his only costumer in a century.
"How about Clifford…" Naruto said and he was rewarded with a squint from the puppy.
"I can tell that you really like it, and you are my first costumer in over a century… maybe…" the hobbit eyed the innocent naruto carefully.
"Maybe I can get it for free?" Naruto asked hopefully.
"No, only discount." The hobbit grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something on it and showed what he wrote to me.
"What, 8000 galleons! You're mad!" Naruto screamed "I'm never going to buy a single thing from a greedy creature like you!"
2 minutes late--
"Damn that hobbit! Trying to get 8000 galleons off me… I'll never full for a trick like that……again!" Naruto muttered to himself while petting his new pet Clifford "good thing some of the money goes to Hogwarts and some guy called Potter."
Naruto found Neji in the "fancy' pet store and dragged him out to the street. Neji was holding an elegant looking hawk; it looked quite noble standing on Neji's shoulder. And of course its glazing eyes inspected every corner of the street trying to insure the safety of his owner.
"Like my pet?" Neji said proudly "It's wondrous how a royal pet can separate nobles from the commons."
Naruto really felt like punching Neji right there, but he didn't. Instead, he was knocked over by a huge guy in armor.
"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, it's my entire fault!" the stranger said, but somehow the voice coming from the armor sounded rather high pitched like a kid's voice.
"It's not entirely your fault Al." A blond kid wearing a very expensive looking silver edged back robe with a name tag "Ed Erics" coming from the crowd said "I mean who could've seen a micro sized shrimp like him anyways!"
"Who do you think you are shorty? Look in the mirror; you are only half of that guy's size." Naruto yelled while pointing at the armor dude "What are you, blind? I'm clearly taller than you."
When that insult reached Ed's ear it wasn't an insult any more, it turned into the contract of war.
"I've always wondered how well Roy Mustang's glove worked…" Ed pulled out a silky glove with a strange circular symbol on the back "Good thing I borrowed it before I left Central."
For the next couple of minutes, loud explosions could be heard thousand of miles away.
"Shit, is it another rebellion?" Roy Mustang reacted quickly to the explosion sound while sitting in his office "Now where are my gloves?"
Back to Diagon Ally—
"Brother, stop!" Al screamed while lifting his brother up easily, separating the two shrimps.
'That kid is right! I am only half of Al's size, damn.' Ed thought "Alright alright, just put me back down!" Ed complained "Let's check out the book store and leave our rude visitors whom didn't even give us their names alone."
"Neji." "Naruto." We called out our names but they already left.
For a long while after we met the brothers, neither of the two ninjas spoke. But eventually Naruto broke the silence.
"The armor dude, Al, the one Ed called his brother…" Naruto said looking down.
"Yeah? What about him?" Neji asked innocently.
"He's…" The hint of depression in Naruto's voice wasn't hard to notice.
"Empty." Neji finished the sentence and sighed "and Ed's left arm and right leg…are both mechanical."
"Yeah, those brothers must've been through a lot." Naruto murmured to the sky "It's amazing what people are willing to do to in order to get what they want…"
Neji just looked at Naruto with a never-again expression. because of his partner's all-of-a-sudden wisdom, which doesn't occur very often.
And on with the shopping they go…
Author's note: Again, review plz plz plz plz plz plz and thank you.
The Action doesn't start till chapter 3, chapter 1 and 2 are all humor.