1.

Tseng sighed happily as the masseuse worked the kinks out of him, her skilful hands rubbing his back.

'You're very tense,' she remarked, pressing at a knot in his neck.

'Huh,' he grunted. 'So would you be if you were trying to keep Reno in line every day.'

The young woman laughed. 'Your son?' she asked.

'Mmm,' Tseng squirmed in pleasure as her soft fingers moved down a bit. 'It seems like that sometimes.'

She patted his back. 'Well, I think you're pretty relaxed now, mm? Why don't you pop to the sauna for a bit?'

He sat up, relishing the lightness he felt. 'I may just do that,' he said. He smiled at her. 'Thank you. I haven't felt this good for quite a while.'

She smiled. 'You'll feel even better after thirty minutes in the heat.'

Tseng padded down the corridor towards the sauna. That woman was a goddess, he decided. Anyone who could get the leader of the Turks to relax so completely must have some sort of holy powers. He opened the oak-panelled door, and was hit by a blast of soothing, hot air.

'Ahhh,' he took a seat, a smile spreading over his face. This day was the best idea Elena had ever had. Rude and Reno had instantly starting screeching when she'd bough tit up, complaining that a spa day was a total chick thing to do, only agreeing to come when they found out there was free booze, but Tseng had thought that a day of total relaxation was just the thing. He leaned his head against the wall, groaning happily.

His blissful reverie was shattered when the door banged open, and a voice cheerfully called out 'Yo, boss man, hows it hanging?'

Tseng felt all the muscles in his back re-knotting. 'Reno,' he hissed, 'What the hell are you doing in here?'

The redhead ignored him, leaning into the corridor and calling out 'Hey Lena, Rude, get your asses in here.'

The other two trooped in, and sat themselves down. Tseng glared at them. Why me? he thought, not for the first time.

'Isn't this place great?' enthused Elena.

Reno eyed up the blonde, who was obviously nude under her robe.

'It's the bomb,' he said, moving a little closer to her.

Even Rude grunted his assent. Tseng slammed his head against the wall, then began to stand.

'Going already?' asked Elena. She giggled as Reno danced his fingers over her collarbone, playfully batting his hands away. Tseng rolled his eyes.

Were they not annoying enough before? he thought, staring heavenwards. Did they have to start dating? He must, he decided, have done something really, truly awful in a past life to deserve this. As Reno pulled Elena into his lap and the pair began to kiss somewhat, ahem, enthusiastically, Tseng reached for the door handle.

He turned it a couple of times. It didn't open. He swallowed hard, then turned it again. Nada. The door was stuck fast.

Rude looked quizzically at him, and even the two youngest Turks detached themselves from one another's faces long enough to look up.

'What's the matter?' asked Reno, trying subtly to pull Elena's robe down.

She smacked his hand, a concerned look on her face. 'Tseng?'

'The door won't open,' he said, faintly. 'We're stuck.'

A/N- Dun, dun dun... Lol, this is a three chapter thingy (the rest of the chapters are longer) and the rest of it is typed and ready, but if you want it, you gotta review... please???!!! XD