Disclaimer: I don't own MASH. If I did, it would've been even slashier than it already was, if that's humanly possible.
A/N: Takes place during "The Price of Tomato Juice." The shower scene, to be more specific. Just a fun piece.
Hawkeye grinned suggestively. "Frank, how can we ever thank you?" he asked, slipping into Frank's shower stall.
Frank stepped away nervously. "Now, come one. Get out!" B.J.'s soapy arm came up behind Frank, but he didn't notice. "Out! Get out of here you crazy--" And then B.J. had both arms wrapped around Frank's chest.
Frank kept sputtering, but Hawkeye wasn't listening, though he still had a suggestive smirk on his face. Oh, Ferret Face, he thought to himself, you don't know how lucky you are. You don't know what I'd give to be you right now. And I've never wanted that before in my life. Do you know how much I wish B.J. would slide his arms around me? I may be something of a womanizer, but right now, I really want him. I've had fantasies in which his arms come around me, slick with soap. Sometimes with sweat. Sometimes even with naughtier things. I can just see your reaction if I were to say that out loud. I'm sure you call me a pervert, or a degenerate or something equally boring and mostly untrue. Sure, there's a wall between the two of you, but I still want to be you.
B.J. laughed and resumed his shower. Hawkeye stepped out of Frank's stall. Frank huffed, dressed hurriedly and stalked out, with soap bubbles still on the back of his neck.
As Hawkeye shed his robe and stepped back into the stall he thought, with some relief, And now I don't. Which is a good thing. I'm a much better human being. Besides…now I'm alone with B.J.
Nothing came of Hawkeye's attraction to B.J., or the fact that they were alone, at least not that day. But that's not to say that nothing ever did.