Azalea by Yofune-Nushi
Summary: I met a girl once, loved me so much I thought the world would burn and devour itself if it ever did anything to betray her by taking me away from her. AllenxLenalee
Disclaimer: Hoshino is the creator and owner of the series.
So this is my second or third attempt at a clear romance between a canon'ish pairing. Usually I'm not so good at this but I'll try portraying it in an in-love relationship as best as I can. I'm not even sure when this could work in canon (probably can't but that's the specialty of fandom), just somewhere far off. I'll let your imagination take care of the rest of how they got here since I can't easily imagine them acting like this in current canon.
Actually, because of that I am a little hesitant posting this story, but we'll see how it goes.
I met a girl once, loved me so much I thought the world would burn and devour itself if it ever did anything to betray her by taking me away from her.
-
*~~Nights are warm with you~~
"Hey Allen, you know the number of times you smile is the number of times my heart skips a beat." She smiles and the flame on the window seal lights her eyes in the dark room and reflects the gentle ness he can always trust to reside in her spirit.
He wonders about the time and place when both had known this ribbon so soft and durable neatly tying the two together was visible to their eyes and he knows he should be saying the same thing to her.
"We may not have it you know, the time…" He taps his finger against the glass as if in his own attempt to irritate the shadow man in the mirror for ruining his privacy with his friend who is a girl and not just a friend.
"Ah, we are busy aren't we?" She nods in understanding and knows what he means. He is not referring to the noah implanted in him. If he was then she would have been more then tempted to hit and become angry at him.
"But, we have it, so I guess that is what matters." He breathes a sigh of relief when she holds his left hand in hers and rests her head on his shoulder. Because it feels good to have someone do that.
"I may have to go somewhere soon I think." He tells her without looking.
"Can I go?"
"You don't even know where or when for how long." He's amused in the way that doesn't distract from how serious he always is. That's one of things she's always liked about him. She likes serious people, all the people, especially the men in her life, despite whatever eccentrics they have are overall serious people. It's something she responds well to.
"It's fine. Where ever you go for whatever reasons you have is something I trust."
"What about your brother?"
"I'll always return to Brother, his side is the one I want to be by the most." She closes her eyes and breathes in Allen's scent, always such nice scent. Cooking from all the food she and Jerry have ever made for him and the sweat he produces from all the times he's ever driven himself to protect what he's loved most in the world.
He nods, knowing she can feel the movement; he's not offended by that. After all, in a way it's not so different from his feelings for Mana and how in the end when all is said and done Mana's side is the one he imagines he will find to spend all of eternity with if he could with only one.
It wasn't about being second best; just certain priorities and responsibilities both must rely on to others that have been in their hearts and souls longer and deeper then anyone else.
They were young in body and mind and yet aged in soul in what it meant to love like this. They were fine though, the moment where Allen had accidentally brushed his hand against her breast when she had bumped into him was the moment where neither had felt the need to apologize or feel anything but normal. They were friends, they could be more, she liked his eyes looking into hers, and he liked her hand holding his. They could just let it move along at a soft and natural pace both would be comfortable with. They hadn't forced these feelings before; they wouldn't force them later on. Just let it walk along.
They parted and say their goodnights for now. She has a mission tomorrow, he has to help Link with reports and possibly accompany Kanda along with Krory on another mission probably involving another ghost (they were getting a lot of those lately). She leaves with one more glance to him and he can't help but say one more thing.
"The number of times you feel happy is the same amount of times my spirit feels immortal." He smiles, it sounded kind of corny maybe but she smiles with a giggle because saying things that sound durably like that always makes her happy and she shuts the door with a click behind her.
Link finally moves from his silence at the far end of the room, having kept quiet all the time Lenalee had been there. Maybe because she had threatened in her own sweet offhand way just how troublesome it would be if he ever reported their times together (even Link was apparently a believer in a woman's wrath to some extent). Or maybe because Link wasn't as inhuman as he tried to be and even he had respect and awe for some normal humanity. Either way, Link tolerated as well as he could their meetings together lately despite the annoyance it caused him by distracting him from doing his job at times.
"She isn't the most important thing to you, is she?" The older man's back was turned to him as he changed into his night wear.
You're not going to repeat what you did all those years ago if something should happen to her?
You're not going to break if she does?
You haven't shifted your main priorities from what drove you before?
"You've been with me for so long now; I think the answer should be obvious." Allen answered after a slight pause for the blunt answer, though he wasn't too surprised. Link was bound to say that sooner or later after watching them for awhile now. (Though if he was thinking of reporting anything that could be used against Lenalee in anyway negative. Allen would have to make it rather clear that if the man ever wanted to gain an interest in making his own family that he would need his man parts to do it.) He slides his cool fingers over his left eye, an action Link noticed in time by turning around.
Sighing, Link releases whatever tension he had before and shakes his head muttering quietly away. "As long as you think that way, for now…"
"Goodnight Link."
"Goodnight Walker."
Allen pokes the little golem that had been napping under his covers and feels a small nip in return before he settles down into his messy bed.
I may have to go somewhere soon I think
Can I go too?
Sometime he'll have to answer her, and she'll have to answer him. For now he falls into a light sleep through the rest of the night and does not wakes up till the sun is high and warm, unusual for this time of year so early in the morning.
*~~ It's a bigger and fuller place than you think, but still don't think your part is so small in it~~
He's called into Komui's office; he expects to see Krory and Kanda for a briefing of the mission but instead is surprised to see it empty of the two. Komui is not sitting in his usual chair buried under all the paperwork that no one would bet against the idea that a good portion of it was probably a good few years old. Instead he is standing and the lady, who is always following him, not unlike Link, is not present. Just like Link as he had to leave for his own business for a short moment with orders to wait at there usual spot when he was done with Komui.
With Komui standing there with such a serious expression and glasses blocking any view of his eyes with the way the light shone off them, Allen suddenly hoped he would be able to meet Link later.
Komui always scared him when he was like this in a way no noah or level four ever could.
"Allen Walker, how do you feel about my sister?"
Oh dear lord, it was the Lee connection. He should have known! Lenalee had it like a blood hound for blood of course Komui had it to!
At least Timcampy was here, the little snitch though gripping tighter was at least loyally staying where he was on his shoulder, he hoped who ever Tim chose as his next master would treat the golem right.
No wait he couldn't think like that. Be smooth. No drill or Komurin in sight.
"I like her." He couldn't help it, he cringed. It seemed the Lee siblings had that affect on him when they ganged up on him, which even when apart they were more then capable of doing. It could have been worst, everybody likes Lenalee, and so in way he was still safe.
"Of course you like her, she's Lenalee." Komui answers with eerily patience and he evaporates the distance between the two in a few long steps to stand before him so Allen has to look up nearly. "But, how do you feel about her?" Komui places his hands firmly on Allen's shoulder and Timcampy flaps away from his perch to hover overhead.
"Komui sir…"
"Allen Walker, how would you describe my sister's place to you with just one word, what would it be?"
Allen could have said a lot of things.
She's just my friend.
She's just my comrade.
She's important like all my friends are.
But when he spoke it didn't seem like he could say that. Because she wasn't just something, she was many things and any just one word couldn't do her justice, especially to what she meant to him.
"She's my partner."
One word, if one word was all he had. That word was the closest he felt that would fit close to perfect.
Allen looked down and stared at Komui's chest waiting whatever conclusion he drew from his answer. Minutes past; he felt the warm contact of Komui's forehead against his own. Shocked he didn't respond to the revelation that he wasn't going to die yet by Komui hand.
"Allen Walker, don't you ever die before Lenalee. Got it, never die before her." Komui began softly whispering as though he was saying a thing that could either save or destroy the known world.
Because I know I can never die before her, but someday no matter how much she cries I will…
"You…always be her partner."
I will never leave Lenalee, I will always find her side…But I can't always follow her wherever her Innocence may take her…
"So you…do this or…I can not even say what my soul will do to you if you so much as abandon her in anyway."
You're on a whole new level then you are compared to her other friends in her heart.
Breathing inward, Allen closed his eyes and leaned his head against Komui's and gave his good honest answer. "I will."
"For whose sake?"
"For Lenalee's…and my own as well." With that answer from Allen, Komui pulled back and breathed in a shaky, but safe breath and gave one last grip to Allen's shoulders before turning away to sit back at his desk.
"I expect to see you later at three o'clock sharp for your briefing on your next mission, please do not be late as you must quickly leave soon after to meet with your contact." Business as usual again, Komui was back to being the Supervisor.
"I understand I will not be late." With that Allen walked out the door and softly closed it behind him with a still marveled mind. Feeling the presence of another he turned to find Lenalee standing there with a slightly worried smile as if she had been there waiting all this time.
The Lee connection was astounding.
"How did it go?"
"Honestly, not how I expected. But that's a good thing." Grinning at her in a way that still suggested a touch of shock, she shook her head with a sigh that could only be labeled her Brother sigh. Moving out of her way, he watched as she gave a wink for a job well done and entered the room with the obvious intentions for having and receiving her own talk from Komui.
*~~Dreams aren't scary when your spirit has touched my soul~~
"You know Allen, they stopped. Those scary dreams I told you about…"
"Oh, that's good. I'm glad, why do you think they stopped? That is if you don't mind me asking?"
"I don't, that's why I brought it up."
"So tell me."
Smiling she rocked a little forward to put her face closer (but not too close as Allen was still funny about his space like that, usually) to his face and said. "You came back."
Blinking he raised an eyebrow in thought over when the times she could have been referring to. "Oh, was it back when we were in Japan, after what happened with Tyki in China?" He was careful to not mention Suman.
"Yes." She replies with a much smaller smile now as she turns back to look at her plate of half eaten cake briefly recalling much harsher memories of that time.
Not liking the expression Allen quickly interrupted the negative thoughts, "Ah what about that stopped the dreams?"
"Well, like I said, you came back." Swirling her fork around the dark fudge sauce, her face became softer "Every time I've known someone to die, I believed it was always the end. That part of my life was gone forever and my soul felt blacker and more fragile against the race of death that oppressed so much I thought I had no choice in my future."
Taking a pause to lift a piece of cake into her mouth and swallow, she licked her lips and stared at Allen with a grin that reminded him once again the similarity between Komui and Lenalee. "But I believed in you. I couldn't think that you would just let death conquer you. That you would just leave us behind like that; so I put my faith in you even though I was told otherwise and had no proof of you alive, I waited for you to catch up with us again. And you did."
Putting another piece on his now empty plate, knowing he was still hungry for more; she patted his left hand with a knowing wisdom. "You saved my soul, Allen. You taught me to believe in something more powerful then death itself, and that is the human will to live and love again no matter what or who stand in the way."
"Lenalee…" He honestly didn't know how to respond other then blushing, had he actually impacted someone like that?
"That's why, the 14th doesn't scare me. I-I know I have a habit of sometimes not acknowledge things that scare me like that out loud, but with you, I believe in you. You taught me that sometimes, humans are incredible, and that's even without having power like Innocence. Innocence is not where our power comes from; it's us; just as you've said. So, I won't ever have to stop calling you Allen, because Allen is never going anywhere. You'll beat whatever tries to oppress you because you want to be the one to take control of the future, right." The smile she gives could melt butter.
She is strong for him, but really she must be strong for herself as well.
Allen was quiet for awhile with a frown before he finally responded with a natural smile, "Lenalee is a very strong person."
"Allen is stronger, stronger then anyone. But because of that Allen has grown used to having to burden things alone and thinking he must always sacrifice for others because they are not as strong as him. That's why…"
"I need to have people like Lenalee to help keep me alive and living." Allen grinned in finishing her sentence as Lenalee nodded with an air of factuality.
"I'm just glad you didn't hit me this time…" He muttered under his breath.
"What was that Allen?"
Nervously scratching his head he waved it off with a desire to carry on. "Thank you, Lenalee. I'll count on you." And he would. Because he saw in her eyes the same dedication that all have when deciding to follow someone no matter what and seek the ending they desired most for the journey. She was not Mana or Master, he still wasn't sure if he could ever rely on someone else for strength in the same depth he did from those two. But, he was willing to give it a chance.
"Lenalee…" He takes her hand in his and she grips back. "Promise me something. Never let anything get stolen from you. Not you're Brother, your happiness, your life, or your will to be happy again no matter what happens. Things will happen, and we have to do our best… So just, keep being you Lenalee."
"Allen?" Lenalee asked unsure of why Allen was telling her this.
"Please just say it for me." His eyes became softer and his grip became a little stronger.
Realization dawns on her and she nods before a mixture of emotions could invade her. "Yes, I promise."
They forget about finishing the rest of the cake themselves and share it with a group of tired Finders that had just come back from a scouting mission.
She doesn't really respond other then a knowing shrug when people curiously ponder to her about how Allen has stopped speaking in a strict polite speech when with her. She's not concerned or awed by it. Mostly because she's sure this time he is ready and doing it on purpose.
*~~ Steps away, but arms are always open for you~~
Lenalee knows, hates it, but knows Allen is different. Different in that he is so much stronger then anyone else possibly can be while also having so much weak ness that no one can possibly even carry it for him or as an equal. She also knows just how much of his actions she wouldn't do and yet how many of his actions she would if their roles were ever reversed. She may not understand or care for his love or concern for the akuma or other things that he, by all rationality shouldn't on the levels he does. But she also knows what it is like to love or be concerned with something to the point of doing so much that it can almost seem unreal or like insanity to others. So, she decides she will stand by as long as she possibly can and continue to hold him when the weight becomes to much for him until he can lift up and fly again despite what is against him.
Because Allen is Allen, everything important to him will be accepted into her heart as valuable as well since he is who is to her and the one she has chosen to fully trust with her heart.
I may have to go somewhere I think
Can I go to?
…
Lenalee is quiet. He thinks she may yell and get angry almost like all the times she has before when overcome with protectiveness for others. Allen almost wants to flee before the storm, but he does not. He wants to stay, partly for her sake and partly for his own.
She can't come; orders for her to stay behind and defend while Allen must go alone to attack. It's the start of new era that could mean the end of the world or the preserving of the old one. He's known these orders for a while now, partly anyway from whatever hints Komui and Bak had left dangling for him to piece together before the reveal.
He is surprised when instead she takes sleeve wrapped in her fingers and holds it. She's silent for a while with her head down and he ignores the urge to bring his hands up to lift her face up to meet his. It does not take long for her to look up and grant him a small smile.
"You have a path different from Brother's. I do as well, but I plan no matter what to return to Brother's side in the very end. My innocence made that promise with me."
For Lenalee has accepted that being an exorcist does not just mean she can only do it for "her" world, but she must do it for "the" world as well. Allen is happy for this. As happy as one can be in this condition of life; she will still have reason to live for the world as long as the core of her world that centers on her Brother is there at the very end and her Innocence respects this as well.
"Allen, don't forget. You of all people should know are not far from the center."
I will never forget if you let this happen…
This is the closest thing to a blessing he will get from her.
"Lenalee please w–"He starts.
"No." She interrupts and puts her hand against his chest "Don't, you dare even finish that sentence."
"Lenalee?"
"I know there are things that need to be done that can only be done with your power, Allen. But, I will not wait for you forever while you go off on your own again like this is some fairytale story. We're going to be apart from each other for awhile, because there are still things I need to do back with Brother and the others, just like how there are things you need to do where ever it is you are going. But when I'm done and if your not here, I'm coming after you. I know I can find you and you will not be alone in the end.
"…Why?" Not because he needs to know how she would, she's Lenalee, the same girl who would move heaven, hell, and earth to find who she loved. But rather this time he wants to hear out loud just for what reason why for him.
"So I can be the first to say, let's go home, and welcome home to you."
He gives her a hug, which surprises her as he's never been the one to hug first. But she wraps her arms around until he steps away and letting go completely, Allen smiles and the frozen world shattered into fragments.
He has to go now; he feels it in his Innocence. The Earl is waiting, the whispers are growing louder. The cries of the akuma are more painful.
No thief will stand to oppress them, not with the power they know they have.
*~~Don't get stolen, I want to be what no thief can steal away~~
The dark sky with the white moon closing in overhead is just a second away from reaching out and guiding him to the point where he can walk without stop it seems.
The world is dyed a white color and Allen can only numbly access what had happened during his fight with the Earl and how it all went crashing down.
"You think you can carry the truth of the world Allen Walker? Let this world continue on in its path knowing full well what will come?"
"…If worse comes to worse, I will shoulder the responsibility and take whatever sentence God almighty or whoever gives me without resistance. But unlike you, I'm going to let them know, I'm going to let them know who has the true authority of this world and that will sever all the oppression you've forced upon them so they can chose what they want and not what they think they should based on fear or sadness…"
"Heh…They don't need me to oppress them Allen Walker, humans have shown they can do that to themselves well enough already….Good luck Allen Walker…I'll be waiting…"
Dust to dust, the ruler of this world was gone, but never would he be just a memory
The glass colored world came upon him and he knew the life he fought so hard to keep was disappearing despite his efforts.
He nodded at the souls he had freed from machines as they passed him by with thankful waves and he stood his ground despite the moon looming with judgment overhead.
Hours, days, years…He honestly did not know how long he had been in this place alone.
This place is a peaceful hell. Day after day, images of Mana and others he had known would come to taunt him away from the light. But he knew better, Mana was on the other side beyond where they could touch just yet, all he would have to do step out of the moonlight the dyed the black world around him white and he could move on from this state. But he can't bring his legs to move this time.
"Can't go yet, this time I'm waiting…"
She has to come, because she said she would, and he knew what would come of it if she didn't. That's why she wouldn't be here to ask him such a thing. Because she had a place to return to and one she had to bring him to.
"I met a girl once, loved me so much I thought the world would burn and devour itself if it ever did anything to betray her by taking me away from her."
The moon hung in its own silent judgment, but this time did not leave him to fend off the darkness by taking its light off him.
He truly believed the world would swallow itself if Lenalee ever lost him in such a way. Not even the hell that Lenalee sought after and recreated as her heaven would be enough to stop the flow of floods like the days of Noah's Ark that her heart would unleash against all that stood against her love. She would come, he had to be the one with faith this time that he was worth it no matter what anyone else said to him.
Moon light shone and felt hotter now, not yet, not yet.
Over the passing his mind once again was beginning to dull as the winds of the next life summoned with more yearning and want to leave it all behind. He had resisted before, and each time it felt like a piece of his soul was clutched by the awareness of what he was doing. No, not yet! There are people waiting, who still want him to stay. He can't go just yet.
His shoulders feel heavy and his feet ache to move again from having stilled for so long that for one brief terrifying thought, he considers the possibility that they forgot how to walk. Calming himself down he curses such a thought and lets it run away in fear.
He's not forgetting. Plum eyes, with hair darker then the night itself and a soft hand to reach out and say-
What was she going to say?
He can't remember.
But he couldn't give up. Because even if he forgot, she wouldn't, she would say it and he would be glad and say thank you for coming.
Waiting is something he hates, it's painful and lonely and he's not sure at times if he can keep it up longer. But he's going to not think he can't because this is just another way of walking he tells himself. He has to do what he can to not become stagnant.
He tells himself, prophecies over himself, conquers himself and says this state of hollowness will pass and he can be happy again from more then just his memories.
His heart felt thumps and Crown Clown's essence within himself begins to quiver in excitement.
"Allen!"
Looking around he could see anything. Where was she! She was here but he couldn't see with so much white and black contrasting; another trick to leave? No, it just doesn't feel that way. His heart beats faster, and the two pieces of Innocence sing a song of union as they have shared a deeper bond to each other then any other Innocence in their whole existence, much like the two conformers who respectively own them.
"Allen I'm here! Give me your hand!"
"Lenalee!" He leaps through the world white and black and the moon is covered in the gray of the two colors as world around them learns to balance and not blind itself anymore.
"You slept, been sleeping for so long, no one said you would wake up. I told them, told them to never say anything like that about you. Said I couldn't find you. I found you though, I'm so sorry it took so long, but I found you…" She's rambling with snot and tears running down her face and holding his hand in an iron grip as he leans against her for support from not having walked in so long.
"Lenalee, you came for me…" He pats her head to reassure her he's here, whether it's more for her sake or his own he's not sure nor cares whether it matters because her body heat it reaching out to him and making him realize just how lacking in this kind of warmth that can only be given from another that he has experience while here. He thinks he's crying now, but he hasn't done something like that in what seems like forever so he's not so sure.
"Of course I did." She hiccups and looks up in an attempt to smile, though with her face so puffy he fails at not being able to hold back laughter at hoe funny she looks as he wipes away the wetness with his hand. "Dummy, I – oh wait."
She steps back and straightens herself in hesitantly controlled energy. She raises their entwined hands up with a smile and says, "Let's go home Allen."
He will have an eternity for Mana when this world is done with him, but until then she will have his time that is the moment of their whole lives. He will be patient, because with her it's not about patience, it's about what is and can happen right now. He's finally ready.
"Thank you, Lenalee."
And the world of gray never seemed so beautiful and he can't understand just how anyone could not mix the two together to create it because everything was just so incomplete without it.
~~* Beginnings are just as sweet and painful as endings, only they don't have to end~
I met a boy once, loved him so much I thought that the world would burn and devour itself if it ever did anything to betray me by taking him away from me…
But that boy who loved the people in the world so much, I knew because of him I would look after the people's future as well and a way to do that would be to make sure Allen was never taken by the world before his time was up.
Our sakes and wellbeing is important to me. We've suffered and hurt. Happiness always seemed so fickle in ours lives. But I wouldn't change any of it; we kept walking because we had faith in something. It's not always easy, I still struggle with it on a lot of things because I'm not a natural at hoping, but when I look at Brother's back and see Allen by my side I think it means nothing is absolute so I can breathe knowing a little piece of happiness that can escape so easily can always be found again with knowing it's been there waiting for you to take it back with your own hands.
Having dreams just don't scare me anymore.
Allen can actually remember what it's like to have them.
Notes*
Originally this was suppose to be a bit more of a sad fic, but the last fic I wrote bummed me out a little so I went even more into the happy route.
Also while I could have put in the 14th more, I didn't because we haven't seen more of him in canon so I felt unsatisfied with any scene I could think of with him so I forgot about handling him in the end.