I HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS.

Basically, this is going to be like a lot of oneshot drabbles teasing the horrible fandoms, the OOC-ness of most fanfics, strange bonds, ect. Trust me, all popular pairings are mockable whether they're liked or not. So if you don't like your sweet little pairing made fun of, GO. AWAY!

Otherwise…Enjoy!

1. My birthday gift is…

Bunbun liked birthdays. It meant the day could revolve around her. That's always great. And she remembered all the items she'd placed on the birthday wish list! Golden wristwatch, golden bracelets, golden tickets for that chocolate factory, golden chocolate factory, golden Lynn statue – why not? Did she remember to mention that she liked gold a lot?

She jumped to her feet when she heard a knock on the door. Opening it up, Bunbun saw that standing at her doorstep was none other than Lynn. Excellent! One of the few who could remember Bunbun's birthday mostly due to the fandom deciding that Lynn always did something on her birthday for whatever reason.

"Lynn!" Bunbun threw her arms around the white haired man in a hug. After she pulled away, she finally realized that Lynn was carrying every sex toy imaginable. Basically the author couldn't be bothered listing them all. Bunbun raised an eyebrow. "Those for me?"

Lynn shrugged. "I was thinking of giving them to Fekin after we're done with them but whatever."

He was up to something. "...Done with them?"

"Well yeah. I didn't buy you anything so I figured that-"

"What about stealing me something?"

"I stole all this equipment at the least!"

"Hmm." Bunbun raised an eyebrow at Lynn referring to all the sex toys as 'equipment'. "So when you say that we'll be done with them, do you mean...?"

Lynn nodded. "Yup. Birthday sex. Didn't you always want to get deflowered for your birthday?"

"What?" Bunbun squeaked; her face turning bright red. "I put gold items on my wish list! Not an enormous sex session!"

The thief held up a pair of handcuffs. "Well, these are gold if that compensates for anything."

Bunbun stared at the handcuffs thoughtfully for a moment. "Those are some nice handcuffs..." She suddenly snapped back to the situation at hand. "No! I object! Just because smut gets written for characters on their birthdays doesn't mean you have to deflower me on my birthday!"

"It... doesn't?" Lynn gave the birthday girl a blank stare. "But what else am I supposed to give you?" Bunbun wasn't sure how to answer. Lynn was obviously mixing up fandom traditions with the real world. But then again, Bunbun couldn't really tell at times whether she was in the real world or in some fandom.

Amon suddenly burst into the room. "Bunbun! I am here to deflower you!"

Lynn glared at Amon. "Back off," he growled, "I already called dibs." Bunbun scratched her head and wondered when Lynn called dibs on her.

"But it's my birthday too!"

"Then we can have a threesome. There's enough equipment to go round," Lynn pointed out. Amon nodded thoughtfully and suggested that they ring up Fekin and Amara to come and join and make it a fivesome. "Hey that's a good idea! It'll be a party!"

"Fuck yeaahhhhh!" Amon cheered. Bunbun facepalmed because that qualifies as a word now. Was every birthday like this when you're an attractive female hanging out with attractive males? Was it some kind of screwed up fate?

But hell, Bunbun was definitely going to call dibs on those gold handcuffs.