x
"I'll never betray you."
Her words, quiet but firm, jerk him stiff as he freezes. The room spins as his heartbeat stutters, and for once he is speechless, thoughts of anemone petals dissipating in the wind. There is a ringing in his ears, and he is vaguely aware of it being white noise as he presses his phone so close to his ear it burns.
She had continued her little proclamation while he wasn't listening, turning softer and more uncertain when she heard no reply. The minute lilt of her voice was a chorded song, and he strains to catch the last of it, curve tugging at the edge of his lips.
"-hy should I? You have done nothing to make me doubt you. I thought it was strange when I had to come here just to play a game. But you have been nothing but kind to me. You... …Ray?"
Silence.
And at last:
"Um, are you listening?"
"Yes." His voice cracks at the end when he struggles to sit upright, free hand unconsciously moving to clutch his chest. "You have no idea how happy you've made me."
The first person he wanted to be close with. The first person who he allowed close enough to his side. And she was here, saying she wants to stay.
"Ray? I… I haven't been this happy in a long time." Her voice, now borderline timid but genuinely sincere, clamps up at the end as though it had just chosen to disclose a deeply kept secret with no small amount of difficulty. As though she believed it would be safe in his knowledge.
It tears a ragged chuckle from his throat.
"Thank you, thank you. I have never felt this happy in my entire life." Lightness floods through him as he grins, an uncharacteristic flush on his cheeks. "You, you are truly you are so thoughtful… thank you. From the bottom of my heart."
I trust you.
So, this was what it meant to be truly happy.
x
x
"I have been thinking about what you said, about the language of flowers."
"Oh?" He lifts his eyes from her unknowing gaze to the golden rose cupped delicately in her hands, contemplating. "If it's something you are interested in, I'd be honoured and delighted to teach you."
She stifles a delighted laugh, and he takes pleasure in the crinkles that form near her eyes. Another new discovery that sends a thrill through him. Just when he thought he'd figured it all, she reveals yet another new secret of hers, making the pang in his chest ache further. The limited time they share only makes it worse, and he prays time would slow at least a little more during the moments they share.
The moon was high in the sky when they passed the rose gardens, and where the beams of light illuminate the roughness of his silver locks he presses a daisy into her hair. She hums and nods when he whispers the language of his friends to her, but her eyes stray, and before long she slips past him to bend closer to the earthy soil.
His brows furrowed as he follows her gaze, seeing her eyes cloud over to a distant past, fingertips reaching out to touch the soft petals of a folded bulb.
"You know, I knew an old lady back home who tended to a little garden. It's nothing compared to this one, but all sorts of flowers grew there too." A pause, before a wistful smile spreads across her face. "Out of all the flowers I remembered the anemones most. They were always so beautiful for something that gave off no scent among the other sweet-smelling flowers."
"Ah, it is strange is it not? Flowers make use of their sweet fragrances to attract attention to themselves, regardless of colour or type. And yet the anemone flower does not, even though using a sweet scent would make it even more popular among the bees and butterflies. It doesn't try at all," He lowers his head, expression disappointed and sorrowful. "almost like a fake."
"I don't think that's true at all." An amused sigh, and she is shaking her head before he could finish, glancing up to face him properly. "You know, these flowers mean many different things too. Thinking of it as just betrayal is just too sad."
A pondering look crosses her face, and he wonders where her mind had gone to, if he could ever follow. If he could have his way, he would make it so that she would never wander again, lest nowhere he could not follow. Because no one else but him would be needed to make her stay.
Surprise colours his eyes when she beams up at him, tender and grateful.
"I hope one day when you see anemones, you think not of betrayal, but of something happier and more important to you."
x
x
The letter on her bed is what sends him into a frenzy, panic and worry overtaking his senses until he could barely think. The watchful believers under him had given their warning a little too late, and now she was lost from their sight, disappearing into a section of the outer gardens they were not yet quite eligible to enter.
Orange rays burst through the hard windows as he races down the hallway, clutching the letter of her promised location in gloves clammy with cold sweat. His rushes into the garden just as the alarm in his phone beeps; a reminder for a duty he could care less for the moment.
She was resting against a pillar next to a clump of daffodils, staring at the setting sun, fingers playing with stray petals of fallen blooms. Her eyes dart up to him when she hears him near, and the welcoming curve of her mouth almost belays the anger that awaited beneath his relief.
"There you are!" He grounds to a stop before her, panting harshly as he checks her over with frantic eyes. "I thought I told you not to leave your room. It's not good for you to be alone, during this period of time."
His heart refuses to slow when he feels her pat his shoulder awkwardly; a meagre show of support as he catches his breath, but if he closes his eyes he thinks he can feel the warmth of her touch. A foolish thought, even for one trying to be bold, and he feels the flush of his exertion refuse to fade though his anger dissipates.
"Even if this is a safe place, not everyone here knows you yet." Not yet. Well, that would change tonight.
"I'm sorry." Her tone was apologetic at least as she steps away, turning back to the sky. "It's just, I was feeling a little suffocated. I, I needed to think."
Her hand reaches to the sky, fingers curling to grasp the sunset.
"Someone once told me to watch the sky, if only to remember how small we are in this world, how little we mean to the universe as a whole, yet still an important part of something bigger. Out here in this wide-open space I feel…" She glances at him, smile small and at peace. "I feel free."
Her words were familiar, but for the life of him he could not remember where he had heard them before. Instead he heaves exasperatedly, moving to the other end of the pillar to lean beside her.
"I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to be confined inside all the time but tonight is a special case. A special ceremony will be held tonight, and everyone is busy preparing for the celebration."
She does not reply, and when he turns to face her she pulls away, walking away from the daffodils to stand on the main path. A freshly fallen flower was in her hands, blue petal edges furling in from both rot and night. He can't tell if it's a rose or anemone—there were neither in this part of the garden.
"Do you like the stars, Ray?" She says quietly as he wanders after her, following her gaze to the sky. The sun had set, and the purple-hued sky was starting to blink with little specks of diamond.
"Honestly, not really." He does not look at her when he says it, mint eyes darkening as the evening shadows lengthened. "I prefer the day and light, where everything is bright and warm. I didn't see the sun a lot when I was young, maybe that's why I feel an affinity for it."
There is a lull as their conversation draws to a stop. A breeze blows, disturbing the quiet, and with bated breath he takes a daring step closer.
"Do you want to know a secret?" She jerks her head up when his shoulder brushes against hers, lashes fluttering as her mouth quirks in surprise. He smirks. "The darkness used to unnerve me a little. It reminded me of my childhood. I, I didn't have the best memories of those times. But when my saviour took me in and I spent my nights in the cool darkness of my workspace being useful, being assured that every step forward took me closer to my goal, and now being able to spend these nights with you and maybe more…" His hand strokes the bloom in her hands, lithe fingers skimming over the arch of her thumb. "I wouldn't trade any of my childhood for this moment."
He links their fingers together as he pulls away, nudging her back towards the building. She startles, and with an airy laugh he lets her go, the teasing gleam back in his eyes.
A searching look, then-
"These four days were the happiest I ever had in a long time." She smiles, but it was a wistful, dimmed under the shadows.
"They don't have to end. Stay with me, and you can be happy forever." He does not see her waver, instead his tone insistent as he shifts a distracted gaze to his phone. "Ah, let me take you back to your room. You need to rest for the ceremony."
"Ray?"
"I'm so excited. After tonight, you won't have to feel sad or pained ever again."
"…Hey, listen. I, I don't think…"
"I can't wait for you to-"
"Ray!"
Her outburst jolts him into realisation, and apologies spill from his lips in distressed verses. Her eyes widen, and guilt washes over him anew; he'd scared her.
"…S-sorry, I'm sorry I. I got too excited again."
"No, no its not you its- I'm, I'm not…" She looks to the ground, hesitant. "It is true?"
"Hmm?"
"It, it's just a game, isn't it?"
"Of course it is. Of course they are." An assuring smile blankets his face, a mirror of all previous times. "Because you are here with me, not them."
"Still, they may be AIs, but why do they have to suffer? I just wanted everyone to get their happy ending. I didn't think it would hurt that much."
"Their happiness is a superficial one. And sometimes, some suffering is necessary first for one to gain eternal happiness." A tick of annoyance twitches within him; her heart was too soft, and the AIs have taken advantage of that. How else could she have grown so attached? "Please, don't stay sad my dear. They won't be able to help you and your grief won't help them either. But I can. If you let me. You are precious to me and I don't want you to be sad."
She looks at him with unknown emotion for a long time, but finally a smile spreads across her face and she nods. "You are… you are important to me as well."
"Oh…" His heart soars then, and euphoria blinds him to everything but the woman who stood before him. "I'm glad, so glad. Thank you. Thank you…"
He leads her home, and amid his light-hearted flutter, does not see the light in her eyes fade as she gives a backward glance towards the marble pillar.
Behind it, a figure wearing the believers' cloak clutches his hands close to his sides and begins to grieve.
x
x
She was backing away from him now; no longer smiling, no longer looking at him with sincerity. Fear and pain brims and overflows from her shaking stature, reflecting a similar ache within him. He forces it away with a feeling of disgust. Once upon a time the hurt he felt would have overcome everything, a desperate plea of his body to get the person precious to him back, tears swelling in his eyes. Now, it flounders, drowned beneath frothing waves of simmering fury.
She was shaking her head, denial drawing gasps out of her muffled mouth as she shudders, legs locked and stiff as she stands surrounded. Red flashes as she swipes her arm roughly over her eyes, and a growl leaves his lips when he sees the concerned touch of a man he never trusted tap her back in a lame attempt to comfort.
Beside her V -faker, faker, you ruined everything!- stands before him and the advancing crowd, hands trying in vain to shield her from the mass of impending followers; helpless frustration plain on his face as he yells for the saviour to listen to him!.
The latter declares something that makes his face pale, and Ra-Saeran imagines the pleasure he would derive from punishing the man as retribution for infringing Paradise later.
Movement alerts him into swiftness, and he looks up fast enough to see the beta-tester kick a reaching arm of a handsy believer viciously away. Rage clouds her eyes as she pulls V behind her, back arched in warning as he cries in alarm. The scene makes his blood boil even further, and he almost leaves his perch by his saviour's side.
Amid the chaos, their eyes meet.
Betrayal scorches his veins like an almost-lover scorned as he stands by his saviour, despair a swirling reminder that he wasn't good enough.
Liar, her eyes flash back at him defiantly, trembling lips spilling petals as she cries out from grief, a gullible fool who just wanted to try.
I trusted you.
Somewhere far away a bouquet of anemones remains forgotten in the inky darkness of a control room, magenta petals closed and unfurling.
...
x
A/N
vague creative liberties over scenes and plot direction of the route since im not done with it yet
magenta is both a red and purple shade; red anemones symbolise forsaken love, that is betrayal, while purple symbolises protection, two vastly different meanings. It also fits saeran's character to a T as well as his desire to both protect and possess.
interestingly, anemones flowers close up at night and open back up in the morning. much like morning glories.
this route was a mistake. everyone is suffering. but man if i dont love the thriller elements. unpopular opinion but currently i love how unfocused on romance the story is and more on the cult. angst train has no break choo-choo