The Game of Throwing Stuff
dragondolphin1990
A crowd gathered around the pike where Ned's head now resides. The members of the crowd led boring, boring lives, so they had nothing better to do than watch a decapitated head decay. It was such a special day to these boring, boring people that a women stayed to watch the head even as her daughter was born. Luckily for her, a doctor had called in sick from work to look at the head, so he was available to birth the babe.
The people of this story are boring, boring people, so nothing interesting happened for the next three years.
Cersei and Tyrion were walking through a meadow, arguing about something unimportant. Cupid flew unseen overhead, looking for someone worthy of his arrow. He saw the two, deep in argument, and knew they were not destined to be lovers, so he moved on.
But, alas! Cupid is a butterfingers, so his quiver of arrows slipped off and landed with a Thump! on Tyrion's head. The arrows fell out, bouncing off Cersei before clattering to the ground.
"Oh no!" Cupid flew down to the two and made himself visible, "I am so sorry, but I just kind of, uh, cursed you."
"If we kill you, will we be better?" a sword magically appeared in Tyrion's hands.
"No! There is no cure. The curse will kill you unless you have copious amounts of sex."
"What?" The two exclaimed with exclamation.
"Go at it like bunnies or you will die!" Cupid disappeared with a soft pop.
Cersei looked at Tyrion with a very serious face and deadpanned, "You'd better buy me dinner first."
Meanwhile, a sliver of Cupid's curse magic found its way to Ned's reincarnation and killed her. Ned awoke in full control of his new three year-old body. Yes, the girl born a few paragraphs ago is now Ned! And somehow, he can do magic now, so he flew over to Cersei and Tyrion, who were really far away.
But in the thirty seconds they had been cursed, they learned that the sex was so good that they fell in love, so they ignored Ned's childish and girly form in lieu of having more sex.
So instead of doing something useful, Ned spend the rest of his/her days pranking Daenerys.