Carla pressed her fingertips against her temples, as though this action alone could keep her headache at bay. She'd been staring at the computer screen for far too long, her eyes blurring slightly as she scanned over lines of numbers, checking columns meticulously before agreeing to terms and conditions, sending off confirmations. It was knocking on, the working day had ended over an hour ago and her staff had long since dissipated, eager to get home to their families or sink a few pints in the pub with their friends. Carla was enjoying the peace, it was so much easier to concentrate without the sound of a dozen sewing machines drilling into her skull.
Picking up her mug from the desk, she was disgruntled to find it empty. Surely she hadn't made her way through another coffee already? She'd only just made it! Biting her lip, her fingertips settled over the drawer beneath her desk, a silent debate going on in her head. It had been a gift, a gift for these very intended purposes. What would it matter if she just had one or two?
She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of the main door opening, which caused a frown to cross her features. It might have been a long day, but she definitely remembered locking the door before settling in for a spot of overtime.
"Peter?" Carla called out into the silence, wheeling her chair a little ways from beneath her desk, squinting her eyes as she tried to peer through the slots in the blinds. "Oh. What're you doing here?"
Michelle looked very offended at Carla's less than warm welcome. She'd appeared in the doorway with the beginnings of a smile that had soon slid off her face.
"Expecting someone else?" She challenged, crossing her arms over her chest as she pressed up against the doorframe, raising her brow. "You look disappointed."
"I'm just confused as to how you got in. I locked the door."
This seemed to sour Michelle's mood further. Slipping her hand into the pocket of the black denim jeans she was wearing, she produced a set of keys, shaking them smartly in front of her. "I've still got keys. How come you're still here?"
"Fancied a game of Spider Solitaire." She bit back sarcastically, pushing herself back towards her desk.
The younger woman was glancing almost suspiciously around the office, wandering over to the window and peering out into the workspace.
"Did you just come to admire the decor or do you actually want something?"
Michelle span back around, looking extremely put out.
"You know, it's like you don't actually want to hang around with me anymore."
"I'm working!" Carla exclaimed, gesturing obviously to the screen in front of her. Her brows flew towards her hairline in complete disbelief at Michelle's surly attitude. "Factories don't run themselves."
"Ah, but are you on your own? Or was the door locked for a reason?"
"Oh. I get it." Carla slammed her hands down onto her desk, raising herself from her seat and turning towards Michelle. "You're keeping tabs on me again."
Far from being embarrassed that she'd been caught out by the other woman, Michelle merely shrugged, stepping further into the office and taking the liberty of perching on top of her desk. It brought back memories of when she'd worked here, the pair of them scheming to wind up Rob; she'd enjoyed her time there, it had been unbelievably satisfying to drag the place from near closure and build it up, successfully keeping it out of Franks clutches and working alongside her best friend. Until he'd come into the picture and ruined things. He'd ruined a lot of things.
"I came to see if you wanted to come out for dinner, actually."
"We had lunch together yesterday." Carla pointed out, nudging Michelle's foot from where it had found purchase on the arm of her chair.
"We didn't actually." The younger woman replied snippily, feeling herself getting more wound up over her friends dismissive attitude. "I brought you lunch and then you shooed me out as soon as Peter walked in."
Carla let out a tired groan, beginning the pace the floor of the office, rubbing her hands over her face. "You're flippin' obsessed with him." She muttered, turning her back on the younger woman after picking up a piece of paper from her desk, moving over towards the filing cabinet where she slid it absentmindedly into one of the drawers.
"I'm not, I'm just making sure you don't make any stupid mistakes." Michelle defended, her gaze unfaltering as Carla turned towards her; the only thing she seemed to be doing for sure was causing her temper to rise.
"And I'll be making sure to take those keys back if you make a habit of barging in here like this."
It was that threat which broke Michelle's resolve. Jumping from the desk, the younger woman tore the keys back out from her pocket and threw them so hard against the desk, they slid across the smooth surface and scattered papers that had been previously stacked in an organised pile.
"Michelle!" Carla suddenly snapped, her voice raising as she marched across to the desk, snatching the spare set of keys up. "This is my business! Why are you so determined to be involved?"
"Because he broke your heart!" Michelle cried, pushing her hand through her hair in frustration, feeling the anger ripple through her chest, one that was tainted with pain. "And seeing you so hurt... it hurt me too." She muttered the last part quietly, her gaze dropping to the floor as wide, hazel eyes suddenly sparkled with tears. The younger woman was trying so hard to keep them at bay, her teeth gritting together with the effort.
Carla looked taken aback at her sudden show of emotion, her hard expression softening somewhat. Having been fully expecting a row, the younger woman's change in demeanour had completely thrown her. What was going on in her head? She dared to take a small step closer to the other woman. "'Chelle..." She began, having absolutely no idea what she was about to follow it up with.
"You used every last bit of your strength to put yourself back together after what he did." She whispered, still staring determinedly at the office floor, picking out the dark scuff marks from the wheels of office hairs or the squeak of a pretentious clients squeaky new shoes. "And now you're letting him waltz back into your life like he did nothing."
"I'm not-"
"Oh come off it!" Michelle scoffed angrily, finally meeting the other woman's eyes, her own ablaze with anger. "You think I didn't know what stunt you were pulling when you let him interview that girl? You do understand that if it hadn't have been Tina, he'd have found another young, daft floozy to play away with? Do you think she was special? Or that you were?" She thundered, her harsh revelation causing a fiery anger to spread through Carla's own veins, boiling her blood.
"Don't you dare act like you understood what went on between Peter and I. You have no clue-"
"No you are the one without a clue, Carla. What on Earth are you playing at?"
The older brunette took a menacing step forward towards Michelle, pointing a finger at her warningly as her teeth grit together in frustration. "Michelle, I don't want to fall out with you. But what I do is none of your business."
"Until it falls apart again and I'm the one running around to make sure you're eating, sleeping, not going to pieces."
Carla raised her eyebrows incredulously, horrified as she felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. How could she throw that back in her face? Had Michelle really resented helping her? The idea caused a whirl of hurt in her chest, she thought that's what friends did for one another, what they'd always done for one another. Right back to when they were kids and Michelle had given Carla's very first boyfriend an almighty slap on discovering him kissing another girl in the year below. On Valentine's Day, too, just to really rub salt into the wound. The younger, but ever fiery brunette had raged at the boy, they must have only been around thirteen or fourteen at the time and she'd seen to it that the other girls day hadn't been entirely ruined. She'd turned up at her house after school, cautiously picking her way through the crumpled cans and old take away cartons that littered the scruffy garden, hemmed in by a rickety fence with half of the grotty wooden panels missing and the gate hanging on by its hinges. It had been a brave move, walking through bay estate alone. Michelle had purposely found the tackiest, soppiest card she could, one that she knew Carla would love to hate, and scrawled 'You're still my number one girl. Chin up babe!', followed my a row of kisses, her name signed neatly at the bottom. She'd even used the last of her pocket money to buy the biggest bar of chocolate she could find in the shop and a glossy, fashion magazine full of outfits and hairstyles and gossip. They'd spent the evening flicking through it together, sharing the chocolate and fantasising about growing up to be famous; taking it in turns to decide on an occasion to attend and choosing which they'd wear. Michelle's hair had been short back then, neat and sleek but Carla's was long and straggly, completely neglected; the younger girl would still insist she envied it and she'd tried to replicate some of their preferred styles from the magazine. By the end of the night, she'd completely forgotten about being so upset. Of course it was completely different as adults, when the life you have planned suddenly falls apart and it's not a two-week-boyfriend, but a husband that had been doing a lot more than just kissing a girl, a lot more than a year younger. It hadn't been as easily fixed, but Michelle had still chosen to help her. Or she thought she'd chosen to.
"Well I'm sorry I've been such a burden to you." Carla snapped, her walls of defence shooting up around her. "Rest assured if I 'go to pieces' again, you're under no obligation to help me up. In fact, you can butt out altogether."
There was a flicker of guilt in Michelle's eyes as she realised how Carla had interpreted her comment, but her snide reply forced any consideration of putting her right completely out of her head. "So you are planning on letting him back into your life again?"
"I thought I just told you to butt out? Have your ears stopped working? Is because your nose has been doing so much overtime? Sticking itself into situations that really don't concern you."
"It does when it involves you throwing yourself into the flames again. Why do you always do this?" She sighed softly, heaviness settling in the pit of her stomach. It hadn't been her intention to cause an argument, it was the last thing she wanted, especially under the current circumstances. In fact, despite what the other woman had thought she'd tried to insinuate, if anything she wanted to be as close to her as possible, making sure she didn't get herself caught up in trouble. "If you could see yourself the way I see you, you'd realise you deserve so much better."
"What? Desperate, damaged and lonely?" Carla laughed dryly, there was no humour in her tone. Michelle's brow furrowed, looking completely floored at the woman's revelation, she could barely even begin to contemplate them. She shook her head, walking towards her until they were face to face, reaching up to curl a finger beneath her chin, a move Carla had used on her many times before. Grazing her thumb tenderly against the other woman's jaw, she met her eyes, staring through the animosity that had gathered in the green hues as they'd verged on rowing. Breaking through that layer, she found the unsure, troubled gaze of a young girl, the one's she'd stared into in the past when they'd promised each other that they'd get off the estate, find a happiness that they were surely warranted after everything they'd been through.
"That's not what I see, that isn't who you are."
The intensity of the younger woman's gaze was almost unsettling, Carla was sure she could see straight through to her soul and she suddenly felt exposed, willing the mask of indifference to slip back across her features. Like Michelle wouldn't be wise to that, like she couldn't already see straight through it.
"I'm not even sure I know who I am myself these days." She attempted to joke, though there was a sad truth to her words.
"Maybe you do feel lonely, maybe you've had a rough time and maybe we could have all tried a bit harder to support you with this place. I'm sorry we didn't, I'm sorry if your family let you down, that I let you down..." She trailed off, guilt flickering across her features. If there had been any way she could, she'd have done it in a heartbeat, the way Carla had done for her so many times. It weighed heavy in her heart that she hadn't been able to offer an ounce of support. No wonder the other woman had resorted to such rash measures. "But those things aren't who you are. You're strong and independent, you're smart ninety-nine percent of the time, you're determined and you're stunning. You don't need him."
Carla let out a hum of disbelief, which Michelle ignored. Instead, she wrapped her arms firmly around the other woman and pulled her into a close embrace, combing her fingertips through chestnut tresses, the fragrant scent of her shampoo infiltrating her senses, before letting her hand fall down to rub soothing circles against her back.
"I wish you loved yourself even just half as much as I love you." Michelle whispered softly, cupping her cheek as she pulled back from the hug, allowing her thumb to brush lightly against a well defined cheekbone. "You're worth so much more."
The older woman's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, her head turning slightly into her warm palm; she felt her heart swell, touched by the amount of care Michelle always demonstrated for her. At times it was so intense that she didn't fully know exactly how to accept it. It wasn't something she'd grown up being used to receiving. Well, not from anyone other than Michelle herself.
"I kissed him." Carla suddenly confessed, her words fluttering around the room, absorbing into the walls that had kept the secret. She didn't know why she'd chosen to share it now; it just felt wrong hiding it from her. Her eyes left the other woman's in remorse. "I don't know why, I was upset..."
Michelle's face fell, her features creased in utter devastation, her shoulders drooling as she felt the deathly grip of despair begin to cripple her heart. She was too late, then. Carla had already crossed the line she'd been desperately trying to pull her back from. Her hands fell limply to her sides, her eyes closing sadly, she looked completely defeated.
"I can't stop you, I wouldn't even attempt to control you like that... but I can control my part in this. I'm sorry."
"Michelle?"
"I can't bear to see you hurt again, I won't be able to stand it."
"I don't understand-" Carla's brow furrowed, the corner of her mouth lifting in bewilderment.
"If you want him, that's your choice. But this ones mine, so I need you to respect it."
"Michelle, I don't- What're you saying?"
"My heart broke, too." She whispered, tears finally splashing down her cheeks, dripping onto her top, staining the stark white with minute puddles of grey which started to fan out and spread over the material. "Seeing you in so much pain, I felt it. Here." Her hand hand reached up to press against her own chest, fingers spraying out as her palm grazed against her heart, as though the phantom pain was still there. "You might be willing to put yourself through it again, but I'm not. I can't."
Tears had sprung in Carla's eyes now, her hand reaching out desperately towards the other woman but she stepped back, shaking her head. Her lower lip trembled and her throat rippled as she swallowed a sob, pressing her mouth together in attempt to refrain from crying out.
"I'm sorry." Was all she offered. It was probably all she could offer, her voice had cracked and she suddenly turned on heel, her glossy hair whipping about her face and rippling in the bright office light at her sudden haste to leave. The squeak of the door echoed harshly in the silence, a sharp cry that sounded pained, as though protesting against what it had just witnessed.
"'Chelle...Michelle!" Carla called out desperately, catching the door before it could fully close. "Michelle, wait! You can't just cut me out, we live on the same-"
But she'd already left, the main door slamming shut and the factory suddenly felt twice the size, huge and empty and Carla felt tiny. She stood rooted to the spot, it felt as though lead had settled in her stomach, weighing her to the ground. A prickle of panic spread across the back of her neck as she glanced around the silent building, suddenly feeling like she was falling, as though she'd been hanging from a rope that had been severed without warning. Swallowing hard, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together because she was now crumbling harder than she had been before. She felt every bit that lost little girl, falling over in the school playground and reaching out for the one person who had never walked by or pointed and laughed. But this time when she held out her hand, it closed hopelessly around the empty air. She wasn't there anymore.
A/n: sorry, this got a bit sad. I think it's somewhat accurate to the current storyline but I've only watched snippets, so this is just something I've based from that. I'll probably work on a happier one shot in the future!