DISCLAIMER. All Doctor Who characters belong to whomever created them. Im just borrowing them.
AUTHORS NOTE. The events of this story immediately follow the events of the televised episode Arc Of Infinity. This is a sequel to my previous story, The Secret Journal. Due to guidelines, I had to edit out certain parts of this story.
"Farewell Amsterdam." The Doctor said as he activated the controls and sent the TARDIS into flight. He smiled as he looked across the console room at Nyssa and Tegan. One of the bright outcomes to this now finished adventure with Omega was the reunion of Tegan to the TARDIS, after having been left behind at Heathrow some months before. "It's good to have you back, Tegan." The Doctor said.
"It's good to be back." Tegan replied. "For the last eight months, I wondered if I would ever see you two again."
"Eight months?" Nyssa asked. "It's only been seven for the Doctor and myself. I guess time travel is funny that way. Still, it's lovely to see you again, Tegan." The two women hugged each other.
"So now where are we off to?" Tegan asked.
"Nowhere really." The Doctor replied. "I guess we'll just go wherever fate takes us."
"Hopefully somewhere nice." Tegan said. The Doctor just smiled.
Soon after, Nyssa and Tegan entered their bedroom. "It's just as I remember it." Tegan said as she spotted her bed.
"It'll be good to have a roommate again." Nyssa said the two of
them sat on Tegan's bed. "There are things I just cannot speak to the Doctor about."
"Ah, you mean girl talk. That's what we call it on Earth." Tegan said with a smile.
"That and other things." Nyssa replied. "Adric was right."
"Huh? What was that about Adric?" Tegan asked.
"Well, Tegan, something happened to me about five months ago." Nyssa said and went on to describe her adventure on Trillic, her injury, and the visitation from Adric.
"Whoa!" Tegan said, once Nyssa had finished. "Are you telling me that you saw Adric's ghost?"
"That's just it, Tegan, I don't know. I've been trying to tell myself that I imagined the whole thing, or it was just a dream. However it was so vivid, so detailed. Also, Adric hinted that you would return to the TARDIS."
"Yes, and here I am." Tegan said slowly.
"Now maybe that was just a coincidence." Nyssa said. "Yet I cannot help but wonder..." she trailed off and stared into space, thinking.
"Nyssa, are you okay?" Tegan asked with concern in her voice.
"I'm fine." Nyssa replied. "There is something else I want you to know, Tegan. I've had this secret for months now. I want to share it."
"What is it?"
"First of all, you have to promise me that what I am about to reveal to you doesn't leave this room." Nyssa said in a serious tone.
"I promise." Tegan replied, growing more and more curious.
"Very well." Nyssa said and wandered over to her own bed. Once there, Nyssa lifted up the mattress and pulled out what appeared to be a brown book of some kind.
"What's that?" Tegan asked.
"It's Adric's journal." Nyssa said as she came back and sat next to Tegan again.
"I didn't know Adric kept a journal."
"Neither did I." Nyssa replied. "I stumbled upon it soon after we left you at Heathrow." She handed the journal to Tegan. "Adric only had time to make seven entries, but I think they tell the full story."
"Let's see." Tegan said as she opened the journal and began reading. A few minutes later, Tegan was finished. "Oh my." she said as she closed the journal.
"That's how I felt." Nyssa said.
"Adric was in love with you." Tegan said slowly. "Wow! Why didn't he say anything to you?"
"His ghost, for lack of a better term, told me that he was afraid to. He was worried that I might laugh, or something like that." Nyssa replied. "As you read, that is why he kept this journal. He hoped it would give him the courage to finally tell me."
"Well from what he wrote, Adric had finally decided to come clean and tell you right after that business with the Cybermen was over." Tegan pointed out.
"Yes, but Adric was killed at the end of that adventure." Nyssa said sadly. "He probably thought he had all the time in the universe to tell me." Her eyes began to tear up.
"Hey, come on, Nyssa." Tegan said as she placed the journal on a nearby table and wrapped a comforting arm around Nyssa. "Adric had no way of knowing that he wouldn't survive. No one, not even the Doctor, can predict their own future."
"Yes, but sometimes I lay here and wonder if there were any signs I should have noticed. Something to tell me how Adric really felt about me."
"Nyssa, Adric was a hard one to read." Tegan replied. "He and I used to fight a lot, but we cared about each other deep inside. Adric just had a hard time showing it. From what his journal says, it sounds like he was more comfortable working out mathematical problems than he was dealing with his feelings."
"His ghost told me that as well." Nyssa said. "It's funny, but that is one thing that he and I had in common."
"What thing?"
"Our lack of experience in courting." Nyssa replied. "My formal upbringing on Traken forbad me to interact socially with the opposite sex while unmarried, and Adric's lack of confidence around girls held him back." She looked at Tegan. "You are so lucky, Tegan, to come from a more open society."
"Well, that depends on what you call open." Tegan said with a slight smile. "Certainly my father didn't like many of the boys I brought home when I was in high school."
"True, but the fact that you were able to see those boys at all was the lucky part, Tegan. On Traken, I would never have been allowed to do anything like that. I grew up pretty sheltered."
"This isn't Traken, Nyssa." Tegan pointed out.
"I know. That is why I wish to expand my knowledge in this field." Nyssa replied. "Since my experience on Trillic with Adric's ghost, I have been reading various literatures on love. Rituals such as dating, courting, lovemaking, and other aspects. However, since you've actually done some or all of that, maybe you can help me."
"Help you? How?" Tegan asked.
"By giving me first hand information. For instance, what's it like to make love?"
"Buh? Uh..." Tegan stuttered.
"Tegan, are you okay?" Nyssa asked.
"Sorry, Nyssa." Tegan said, quickly regaining her composure. "You just caught me off guard with that question. No one has ever asked me that one before."
"Sorry if I embarrassed you."
"No, don't worry about it." Tegan replied and continued. "Let's see now, if you truly want to make love to someone, you should really get to know them first. Build up a bond of trust. That takes time, Nyssa. My first time was with a boy named Brian Milner, we dated for six months before we took the chance of making love."
"I see." Nyssa said. "I understand that there are certain physical aspects to the act of lovemaking. Could you describe them to me?"
"Uh, Nyssa, that's kind of awkward." Tegan said with discomfort.
"I'm sorry."
"No, Nyssa, it's not that. It's just that I really cannot put into words what making love is like. I think that is something one has to experience to really appreciate it."
"Show me." Nyssa said slowly.
"Show you?" Tegan asked before the realization of what Nyssa was asking of her sunk in. "Nyssa, are you asking me to make love to you!?"
"You just said a moment ago that part of lovemaking was trust. I trust you and you trust me." Nyssa pointed out.
"Yes, but... I mean this is just so sudden!"
"Tegan, I wouldn't be asking this of you if it wasn't important to me." Nyssa said. "Please think about it."
"Well..." Tegan began and then trailed off. She looked deep into Nyssa's eyes. Why not? she thought after a few moments. This is really important to her, and it has been a while for me. Okay, let's give this a shot and see what happens. With all we have faced before, this does not sound so bad. She took a deep breath and said. "Okay, Nyssa, let's give this a try."
"Thank you." Nyssa said. "How do we proceed?"
"Let me worry about that." Tegan said. She took Nyssa in her arms and laid her down on the bed, before getting on top of her. "Before we go any further, Nyssa, I should say that I've never done this with a woman before."
"I've never done this before at all." Nyssa replied.
"So I guess this is something new for both of us." Tegan said. Slowly, Tegan brought her lips down to meet Nyssa's. The kiss was short, but tender. Tegan was about to give another kiss, when she noticed Nyssa was trembling slightly. "Nys, are you okay?" Tegan asked.
"I'm fine, Tegan. I'm just a little nervous."
"Shhhh, it's okay, Nyssa." Tegan said in a reassuring voice. "If you don't want to do this now, I'll understand."
"No, I want to." Nyssa replied. "It's just so new to me."
"Just relax, Nyssa, and let it happen." Tegan said. Nyssa just smiled and nodded her head. Slowly Tegan began kissing Nyssa again, the kisses gradually growing longer...
"So how was it?" Tegan asked as she lay down beside Nyssa, a little while later.
"That was wonderful! I've never felt so good, so joyous, before in my life. Thank you, Tegan." Nyssa replied. Slowly, she rolled over and got on top of Tegan. "Time to return the favour."
"Wow, you're a fast learner!" The smiling Tegan said as Nyssa began to kiss her.
After their lovemaking, the two women had fallen asleep. A little while later, Nyssa woke up and rolled over in the bed. She saw that Tegan was no longer laying beside her, but was sitting on the side of the bed in a nightrobe. Nyssa slowly got out of bed, put on a nightrobe herself, and joined Tegan. She saw that Tegan had been crying. "Tegan, what is it? What's wrong?" Nyssa asked. "Was it me? Did I... Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you were great, Nyssa." Tegan replied. "The problem is that while we were making love, it went beyond just a little experiment. I felt something and I think you did too."
"Yes, I did." Nyssa said slowly.
"I could fall in love with you, Nyssa, but I can't take that chance." Tegan said in a sad voice.
"Why?"
"Remember that boy I told you about a while ago, Brian Milner?" Tegan said as she blew her nose. "I didn't give you the full story, Nyssa. Brian and I were much more than just boyfriend and girlfriend, we were truly in love. We even talked about getting married when we finished high school."
"What happened?" Nyssa asked.
"Brian was a real health nut and he jogged every evening." Tegan replied. "One night, while he was jogging, a drunk driver plowed right into him. Brian was killed instantly."
"Tegan, I'm so sorry." Nyssa said as she put a reassuring hand on Tegan's shoulder.
"I was devastated." Tegan continued. "For weeks I just lay in bed, sleeping away my days. I had practically given up the will to live. However, Aunt Vanessa finally decided that I had to start living again. She dragged me out of bed and slowly got me back into the flow of life." Tegan paused, thinking of her favourite Aunt who had been murdered by The Master that faithful day when Tegan first stumbled into the TARDIS. Finally, Tegan went on. "Although I dated a few more boys after that, I never allowed them to get too close. Once was enough."
"Now you feel that could happen with the two of us? We might get as close as you and Brian were?" Nyssa asked.
"Yes, and that is why I can't allow it." Tegan replied. "Nyssa, you know how dangerous things can get when travelling with the Doctor. If we were to pursue a romantic relationship and I lost you, like I lost Brian, it would destroy me. I can't go through that again, Nyssa, I just can't."
"I do understand, Tegan." Nyssa said. "We were both reminded months ago of how dangerous things could get around here." The two women stared at Adric's journal, which still lay on the table nearby. Neither of them had to say a word, the journal said it all.
"Nyssa, I don't regret what happened between us just now, but I think it would be better for both of us if we were just friends, not lovers." Tegan said.
"Then friends is what we'll be." Nyssa replied. "What we shared here this day was special and I'll always treasure it, but I'm just happy to have you back in my life."
"That's good to hear." Tegan said. "Say, why don't we get dressed and go down to the TARDIS kitchen for a bite to eat. I'm feeling a little hungry."
"That's a great idea." Nyssa said. She went over to the table, picked up Adric's journal, and hid it back in her mattress.
"Are you ever going to tell the Doctor about that?" Tegan asked.
"Perhaps I will, someday, but not yet." Nyssa replied. "For now I'd like to keep it between the two of us."
"Works for me." Tegan said. The two women got dressed. Then Nyssa and Tegan, who started as friends, became briefly lovers, before becoming friends again, headed out towards whatever future lay ahead.
THE END