Sober
Disclaimer: I don't own LOST or this song.
A/N: The song for this fic is called Sober by Kelly Clarkson. It's off her new album if you want to check it out. There's kind of spoilers for the finale in here, so don't read if you haven't seen it!
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Jack sat at his car at the gravesite, clutching a single flower. He remmebered when he had begged Kate for another chance. All he wanted was her, but she didn't want him like that. She knew that Jack could do it, get over his addiction, so she had told him that if he got sober, and stayed sober, that she would see him again, they could start over. At the time, he had grabbed a flower from a bush a few feet away from her apartment, and gave it to her, as a promise that he would get sober for her.
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over
Jack stepped out of his car and slowly walked over to Kate's grave. He'd been sober for two months the night that she died. He'd called her to tell her, asking if he could see her. She had been doubtful, but had told him that she was willing to see him.
But then she died that night in a car crash and he never got a chance to see her, to give her the bouquet of flowers he'd picked for her. Instead, they had gotten placed on her grave, three days later. Jack remembered the day he put those flowers on her grave. He'd been a mess, but everytime he reached for the drugs, something stopped him. So that day, at the grave, he promised her to never be like he had been before.
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Since her death, Jack hadn't been the same. He hardly ever worked at the hospital anymore and he didn't talk to anyone, just to her. It had been three months since her death and he had managed to stay sober and that's what he clinged to.
Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no
At times, Jack wanted to give up, and he'd almost given up more than once. He'd gone back to that bridge more than once in the last three months, but he'd always come back down, because he knew it wasn't what she wanted. But he desperately wanted to join her, wanted to see her again.
Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Jack read the gravestone that he had read so many times before.
Kate Shephard
Loving wife and mother
1974-2007
Jack tried to remember the joy he had experienced when they had learned that Kate was pregnant. It seemed like such a long time ago, when it had only been a few years. Then he was reminded of the pain they had experienced when their young daughter had died from a rare disease, and he fell to his knees,reading the gravestone again with blurred vision.
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you
Three months yeah, three months
Jack closed his eyes, trying to remember how she looked, how she tasted, how she made him feel. He missed her.
Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
The flower in Jack's hand fell in the grass, and Jack stood up, reading the gravestone one more time, before returning to his car. He drove back to the bridge, and three days later, a gravestone stood beside Kate's.
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers