Orphans Beloved: "The Producers…"
Summary: : Like my Immortal Beloved and Sheldon Swifties bits in my Buffyverse and Sheldonverse, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: No copy write infringement intended…
"So…We're at last at peace. Dyad is exposed and under Rachel's leadership will destroy the clone experimental data now that we're all stabilized except for one secret file to be kept with a judge in case we ever develop unknown problems…" Allison paused, looking at the group before her…A somewhat uncomfortable Sarah, anxious Fee, uncertain…Who are these people again, honey?...Cal, a very happy Kira, a fooling no one "back from the dead, I was hidin' out, yes? Beth Childs, cop person, Hiya. Never hurt sestra Sarah." But very contentedly leaning on new husband Arthur's shoulder, Helena…
…And yet all you people are here, in our home. She glanced at Donnie who was doing his best to seem to recognize all…
Why are all these people here, in our home? Her look saying.
"Donnie…Ally…" Felix regarded them. "We've come about a special project. Given several of us have at least temporarily, and some permanently, lost our sources of income…And it will be a while before all clearances are hurdled in order to write a book and authorize what will no doubt be the epic miniseries about our adventures in Evil Science…And since Dyad is no longer the flush Evil Empire it once was…We need a little quick moneymaker to get us all through these tough times."
Allison sighing. "All right, I'll go back to selling my handmade crafts on the Internet and the local fairs. Donnie, I'll make up a list for you…" "Oh, lets go together, Ally." Donnie beamed…"It'll be fun for the kids, too."
"No…No, darlings…Darling Ally…" Fee cut in. "Laudable as your intent is, it's not quite what we had in mind. Crafts simply won't cut it, dears, even with the seal of clonage label."
"Oh?" Ally, disappointed.
Was really looking forward there to marketing my wares as the first handiworks of a human clone…
"Yeah, we…Well, actually…It was my brilliant idea." Fee beamed. "But based on your talent, darling…And dear ole Don's here." Nod.
"Oh?" brighter beam. Donnie rather pleased as well…
Yeah…Sarah sighed.
I must be crazed to let meself come along to support Fee in this one…Lucky Cos to still be too ill to join us.
But Helena's all enthused…
All Fee had to do with her was mention "Broadway" and she was sold…
And so long as it helps with her rehab Art's totally for anything that keeps her happy and busy.
Which I suppose, she being the candidate for…
Hmmn…Still don't see why Fee would choose her…I'm a far better understudy candidate.
But we gotta keep "Beth"/Helena "engaged"…Right, suddenly my foster brother's the psychological expert…
"Yeah…" Fee continued eagerly. "You see, I think you, Allison Hendrix…My dear other foster sister and my little acting protégé…Should make another stab at the great White Way."
"Me ? Acting…?" Allison frowned…
And yet…Oh, that bug remains within me yet…
"Felix, is this a bad joke? You know how my last performance ended."
"You brought the house down…And the curtain." He nodded.
"That you did, Ally." Donnie beamed.
Uh…He retreated at her glare…
"And we can use that…For audience sympathy as well as to draw in those looking to see you as comic relief clone."
"Oh, really?!" Ally fumed. "Well…I don't have to be treated…I have performed in a number of serious dramatic roles since college." She spurted.
"And very well, too." Donnie insisted. "Last time just was bad luck and clone club…"
"Thank you, honey." Ally nodded.
"Yes, yes…We get all that. But it's because you are a great dramatic actress that I know you will have the versatility for this role." Fee, eagerly. "You are a natural for this one, Allison."
Hmmn…Well…Wait…Narrow look.
"What is it? I don't dress up in a "clone clown" outfit, do I?"
Neat idea…Fee thought, picturing. But no, this is about raking in the dough.
Hmmn…Ally pondered…"Felix…" Hard stare. "You're not planning to exhibit us like the Dionne quints?"
Now there's an idea, Sarah thought.
Not that I would ever be dragged out with the others but…
It's gotta beat this brainwave.
"We were thinking…Well, ok, I was…But it was quality thinking." Fee noted. "What you, as our sole trained actress…And Donald, our man, here…Would be perfect for is. Hold on to your seats, kiddies…'The Producers'."
"What?!" Ally stared.
Oh, God…I loved that show…And ever since that "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode with Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft…Poor, lovely lady…Spoofing the idea…I'd dreamed.
"See…" Sarah shrugged. "She's no more interested in it than I am…"
Actually though…If Fee really pressed me…For Kira and Cal, especially…
"So am I Max or Leo?" Ally cut in, hurriedly. "Oh, Leo of course…Donnie is the natural for Max."
"Well, yeah…" Fee, a bit disappointed to see her run with his "big surprise" without further clue.
"But I thought we could call you Milly. After Leopold Bloom's daughter…Appropriate, eh?"
"Oh, that's perfect, Felix…" Allison beamed. "Donnie, we're the Producers!"
"We are?" Donnie stared.
"Don't worry…He'll be a perfect Max." Ally noted to Felix. "I'll rehearse him day and night."
Geesh…I mean if I wore a wig and had Tony teach me how to do the lower register…Sarah thought.
"And I'm the understudy!" Helena/"Beth" eagerly.
Hmmn…Ally eyed her…
Uh…
She seems very…Eager…
Still, no…Art would be very hurt if she killed me to get a role after all the effort he's put in in helping her recover her emotional balance. And she's very protective of Beth's reputation…Murdering a sestra would not look good on that record.
"Ally?" Donnie stared. "Are you sure about this?"
"You'll be great…" Allison eyed him… "We…Can…Do…It…" Sings... "We can do it…We can do it me and you." Beam…
"We can do it…We can do it…We can make our dreams come true."
"You know, if Donnie really doesn't want to…" Sarah began…
"Arthur is available…" Helena/"Beth" cut in.
"Don't you see, Bloom, darling Bloom?" Donnie rose suddenly…Allison eagerly rising with him…Yeah!
Donnie/Max, eagerly:
"…Glorious Bloom, it's so simple…
Step one, we find the worst play ever written
Step two, we hire the worst director in town
Step three, I raise two million dollars…"
Ally/Milly, perturbed: "Two?"
Donnie/Max: "Yes, one for me, one for you
There's a lot of little old ladies out there
Step four, we hire the worst actors in New York
And open on Broadway and before you can say, Step five
We close on Broadway, take our two million and go to Rio."
Hmmn…Ally pondered, beaming at him.
If we really did well with this, I've always wanted to see Rio.
"And of course, with all due modesty…" Fee smiled. "I don't think we need look far for a Roger DeBris."
"Oh, and I be the secretary…Since I…Uh. Since I have the blonde wig from pretending to be crazy Helena." Helena/"Beth" noted.
Hmmn…Ally eyed her.
Playing the secretary…Oola?
Hmmn…She eyed Felix…
"In this version, she's your rival for Max's affections, Milly." he explained.
Yeah…I didn't need to be told that, she eyed Helena/"Beth".
Still, Arthur…Thank God for good ole Arthur our gallant knight…
Cause I'd hate to have to literally make my sestra break a leg.