A/N: This is my first Kurtofsky(esc) story. My first time writing angst and writing David. Potential spoilers for 3.14
I wasn't sure if I was going to write this but then I had an absolute horrible night and I felt like shit, so I thought there was no better time to write it. This story was inspired by David's line during the Breadstix scene, "I've wanted to call you since that night at Scandals." (Sorry for any errors, I wrote an edited this on my iphone).
The Story of Seven, Four and One: The Four Times Dave Wanted To Call Kurt…and The One Time He Needed To
1.
When Dave thought about it, there were plenty of important things that came in sevens. There were the seven deadly sins, the seven seas, hell even the seven dwarfs. However, he would never consider any of them more important than the seven things he was holding in his hands. Technically, it was one thing, a scrap of paper, but written in perfect scrawl were seven little numbers. Kurt Hummel's phone number.
Those seven numbers meant so much more to Dave than he would have imagined. They meant so much to Dave that part of him worried that he was reading too much into receiving them. And although part of him didn't want to worry about it, the other part of him was reminded that it would be better to fear than to remember the pleasant swell that had been in his chest when he received the numbers.
David had been standing at his locker trying to look busy so no one would disturb him. He still couldn't see Azimio without being called a pussy; his best friend wasn't exactly impressed with him for joining the bully whips, even though Dave had lied to him and swore that it was the easiest way to get Santana Lopez in bed.
He also was also avoiding the rest of his teammates. They all knew that Kurt Hummel was back at school today and he knew they would all try to push their luck with Dave and his new resolve to stop the bullying at the school. They all assumed that Kurt was a sore spot for him because of his brief expulsion; little did they know that it was so much more.
"Hey." Dave knew the voice immediately but was not familiar with the tone. The voice once spoke with a braveness that made Dave shove him a little harder. It also once spoke to David with fear He turned slowly from his locker to see Kurt standing a foot away. It was strange seeing him back in McKinley, it was difficult seeing him in a setting where he was once so cruel. However, it was also refreshing to remind himself that he never had to be that way again.
"I just wanted to give you this," Kurt spoke as he dug around in his satchel before retrieving a small slip of a paper and a pen. He took a step closer to the locker (and David) before using it as a flat surface to write on. "It'll be the easiest way for us to stay in contact when we start planning for PFLAG."
"Wait…what?" David had stumbled over his words, watching Kurt's hands carefully as the piece of paper slipped from the delicate, pale hand into David's. Fingers brushing briefly.
"It's my cellphone number, David." Kurt explained, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards, just slightly. David had brought the paper closer to his eyes, trying to stop them from bulging, before nodding awkwardly and pocketing the piece of paper. The two of them had stood together in the hallway for another moment, David had opened his mouth to say something that his mind hadn't thought of yet but instead was interrupted by the bell, signaling the start of a new period. David mouth snapped shut, but Kurt said a quick goodbye before scurrying off to his next class.
He had held onto the piece of paper for the rest of the day at school. An invisible, yet comforting weight in his pocket that reminded him that he was able to change, that he didn't have to be the same person he was, that maybe one day Kurt would fully forgive him.
However, by the end of the day, it was burning quite the hole in his pocket. He waited till he was back home and back in his bedroom before he pulled out his phone, his scrap of paper and tapped a few buttons on his phone and created a new contact name. Kurt Hummel. And with a small and undeniable grin on his face, he punched the numbers onto his keypad, watching them appear on the tiny screen of his outdated cellphone before pressing save.
"Now what?" David had asked himself. He knew what he wanted to do. He had wanted to do it about a millisecond after he had received the number. He wanted to call Kurt. He just wanted a reason to call Kurt.
He wanted to know if Kurt realized he had called him 'Dave' and not 'Karofsky'. Did Kurt keep count like Dave did? He wanted to know if the reason for the smile on Kurt's face as he walked away was a result of a good day at school or because of Dave, god he prayed for the latter.
He wanted to know if Kurt giving him this number was even the slightest gesture of forgiveness, or even better, friendship.
He wanted to know all of that. He wanted to have an actual conversation with the boy that didn't revolve around their past. He wanted to have a conversation where he wasn't becoming aggressive out of his need to explain himself, or the constant desire he had do defend himself. He wanted to have a conversation where he wasn't a bumbling idiot and prove to Kurt that he wasn't a Neanderthal. That he was more than what Kurt has seen.
So in actuality, Dave could think of a few reasons to call Kurt, but none of them were good enough. Nothing was ever good enough in Dave's mind.
So instead of doing what he wanted to do, Dave did something else. Opting for a text message, instead. A simple one, that held nothing of the feelings, emotions, or questions.
Hey. It's David Karofsky.
He didn't expect Kurt to reply, but that didn't stop him from either clutching his phone the entire night, or having it in close proximity. Just in case. Which included dinner time, where his parents scolding him for having it out at the supper table. Every time the phone would jingle, a lump would form in his throat, only to be disappointed by another text from Santana or Az.
It wasn't until he was lying in his bed that night, his phone charging in the nearest outlet, that he heard the familiar few notes that signaled a new text message. With a sigh, he rolled over onto his side and picked up his cellphone. He was trying to remember what he learnt in Spanish class so he could tell Santana to: "fuck off, I'm trying to sleep" in her native language when he realized that the text wasn't from her. From Kurt Hummel: Welcome cellphone welcomes you to its contact list.
Only Kurt could get away with saying something so ridiculous. It made David's lips curl up and his fingers twitch over the call button. He looked at the clock for a moment, it was late. Too late to call and talk about all the things he wanted to. So David set the phone back down on his bedside table with a sigh.
Another day, he promised himself before falling asleep.
2.
The second time Dave really wanted to call Kurt happened during their junior prom.
The moment he heard Kurt's name called, Dave felt his stomach turn. The comfort he felt from winning and being accepted by his school (even if it was a lie) was completely extinguished. He hated them all for doing that to Kurt. He hated himself because if it had been a year prior, Dave probably would have lead the charge to get Kurt elected prom queen.
However, tonight as he watched all of the other students snicker and sneer at Kurt, he had never been more ashamed of what he once participated in at the school. As he watched Kurt run out of the auditorium, he didn't understand how he once would have been able to do that. It didn't help that Kurt's words from earlier that week kept ringing into his ears, "Maybe they've evolved enough to be indifferent."
When Kurt walked back into the auditorium, not 15 minutes later, Dave just wanted to applaud. He watched as Kurt remained composed and brave as he addressed the student body. Dave reminded himself to tell Kurt how brave he thought he was when he sat back down, but that didn't happen. Instead, Figgins opened his mouth and announced that it was time for the two of them to dance.
And that's all Dave really remembered before he bolted out of the auditorium. He was a coward. It didn't matter how many steps he took forward, he would never be as brave as Kurt. Who, 15 minutes earlier had been publically humiliated and still managed to keep his head held high. The boy had been through so much, some of which had been directly because of Dave. The boy who had forgiven Dave, after everything.
Dave had finally been given a chance to make try to make it up to Kurt. To stand up in front of the entire school and dance with him, but he couldn't do it.
Outside of the gymnasium, Dave leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths. His body was shaking with nerves, with anger, with regret. When he closed his eyes, he could only hear his own heart beating, and the quiet murmuring in the distance which he assumed was the song that he and Kurt would have danced to. The longer he kept his eyes closed, the clear he could think. Which meant that all he could see was Kurt's hopeful face as the entered the center of the dance floor together, and the look of what Dave could only call disappointment, when David had run off.
That was all it took for David to lose his lunch; covering his mouth, he made it to the nearest bathroom before completely losing it. Tears were falling from his eyes and he tried to tell himself it was because of the nausea, but he knew it was because of so much more.
Once Dave was certain he finished, he made his way to the sink and splashed his face with cool water. His eyes avoiding his reflection. He couldn't look at himself in the mirror. Everything was reminding him of how cowardly he was. He needed to get home. He needed to get out of this stupid tux, burn that stupid crown and….and call Kurt.
Out of all the things he needed to do, that was the most important.
Like usual, he wanted to apologize for so much, for abandoning him when he really needed it, and for the things that weren't even directly his fault. He wanted to tell him that it didn't matter what the fucking school thought. They were a bunch of cowards and nothing like him. He wanted to tell him how brave he was and how beautiful he looked tonight.
He pulled out his phone and saw an inbox full of text messages. The wrath of Santana had descended upon his phone. And as much as he wanted to delete them all without out reading them, he needed something to calm him down.
Once Dave had made his way through the text messages left from his beard (many of which were completely in Spanish but still managed to completely terrify David) he made his way out of the bathroom, out of the school and towards the parking lot. He had just made it out the doors when he saw two figures standing outside and it only took one more look for Dave to discover that it was Kurt and his boyfriend.
Even though there was still about an hour left of prom, David couldn't say he was surprised to see Kurt leaving. He had had a hell of a night and his knight in shining armour was right there with him to drive him home.
He watched the two interact from the side doors, wanting to wait for them to leave before Dave could get into his own car.
The hobbit had Kurt wrapped up in his arms, and Dave was just close enough to hear what they were saying. "I'm so proud of you, Kurt."
"I'm happy you were with me tonight." Kurt's voice was just a little softer than his boyfriend's, and Dave could hear the slight quiver in it, signalling how upset he still was. "Thank you for being brave."
Needless to say, Dave didn't call Kurt that night.
3.
The next time David really wanted to call Kurt happened that following September.
The first day of school for Dave at McKinley, use to involve multiple trips to the convenient store across the street to buy slushies. It always involved him and his friends laughing loudly as they doused other students with the freezing cold liquid. However, this year was different. He was no longer attending McKinley, and even if he was, he truly didn't think he would be partaking in that tradition.
Instead, Dave was starting at a new school doing his absolute best to blend in. He liked being able to start fresh, it was relaxing not having to have his guard up constantly. Plus, this school still had everything he needed. A good football and hockey team, some pretty decent math teachers, and it wasn't too far from his house.
However, there were things Dave missed about McKinley after his first day at Lima High. He missed Kurt. He missed seeing him in the cafeteria with his glee club friends. He missed seeing Kurt in the hallways even more than when Kurt had transferred to Dalton; since back then David still resented Kurt and seeing him in the hallways made him nervous and angry and confused all rolled into one. He especially missed the Kurt that he had grown to know at the end of the semester. The one who didn't hate him.
And maybe that was why his mind was filled with thoughts of Kurt all day. Throughout meeting people at the school, he found that so many of them were interchangeable with students who had attended McKinley. There were jocks, preps, nerds, hell they even had a glee club; but no one at this school had compared to Kurt. He wondered if McKinley had any new students who reminded Kurt of him.
He wanted to know if Kurt noticed he wasn't there anymore. He wanted to know what kind of crazy and expensive outfit Kurt had worn to school that day.
And as cheesy as it sounded, he wanted to know if Kurt had had a good first day of his senior year. He even wanted Kurt to ask about his first day at his new school, he wanted to be able to tell him that he was finally able to be who he wanted to be, that he was no longer the bullying jock.
But there was something holding Dave back. The fear that Kurt hadn't notice he wasn't there. That maybe McKinley was so much better off without him that Kurt would be thrilled that David was gone. David knew it was stupid to think that Kurt would miss him but a part of him did believe that they had grown closer towards the end of junior year and he just wasn't prepared to deal with the realization that maybe they hadn't.
Two days later, Dave was really beginning to get comfortable in his surroundings, meeting knew people, and settling into the new semester; however, his desire to reconnect with one particular part of McKinley was still there, so to get rid of the twitching in his fingers, he texted Santana.
hey beard, anything exciting at mckinley happen without me? From: Dave
It wasn't long till he got his reply.
You missed Ladyface's boyfriend being so flaming a piano caught fire. From: Satan
Dave's heart sank a little. Blaine had transferred to McKinley which assured Dave of one thing. That Kurt would definitely not miss his absence in the hallways of McKinley.
4.
The fourth time Dave wanted to call Kurt was after they had ran into each other at Scandals. And it was by far the most he wanted to call Kurt, because about halfway through the night, he finally discovered why he always desired to call the other boy. Sure, he normally wanted to call Kurt just to hear the other boy's voice. Sometimes he wanted to call him just to hear him say Karofsky instead of Dave, to remind him of how far they had come.
This time was different, however, and it all started because of the idiot who was dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Kurt's boyfriend. The boy who was so stupid that he had spent the majority night dancing with 'Slutbastion: The Scandals Bicycle' instead of his own boyfriend. Blaine, who was so drunk, that he completely ignored his own boyfriend's feelings. Sure, the night had ended well between the two of them. Kurt and his boyfriend left the bar draped across each other (although Dave wasn't sure if that was out of affection or Blaine's intoxicated state). But Dave considered himself an expert at hurting Kurt, and he knew that Blaine had already done a considerable amount of damage in that area.
Dave began to wonder if Blaine would apologize that night, or would it happen the next morning?
Would he chalk it up to intoxication or would he be a man and admit that he had done something wrong?
Would he just remind Kurt how much he loved him? Would Kurt smile and kiss him and tell him that he loved him too?
What would Kurt do if Dave told him he loved him? Dave had never said that before, let alone thought it. But as soon as the thought had entered into his mind, he knew it to be true.
He took a deep breath and turned to the bartender, ordered a whiskey sour, and downed it.
"I'm in love with Kurt." Dave discovered that saying it out loud felt good and in his tipsy state he decided that saying it to Kurt would feel even better. That's why he always wanted to call Kurt. And that's what he was going to do.
It wasn't until he had finished his fourth beer that Dave finally found what he considered courage. His hands fumbled in his pocket, searching for his phone with one hand while finishing the rest of his drink with the other.
"Whatcha doing, cub?" A voice asked. Dave glanced around disorientated for a moment before his eyes landed on Bradley. A man in his late twenties who had taken Dave under his wing the first night he came to Scandals.
"'M busy." Dave mumbled, grinning triumphantly when he finally retrieved his phone. "Needa make a call." He explained before pressing the button that unlocked the phone.
"Hey, friends don't let friends dial drunk." Brad reminded him as he made an attempt to grab the phone, which Dave childishly held above his head. "What's so important anyways?" Brad asked with a huff. Dave shook his head once and began searching through his contact list.
"I need to do it now. He needs to know." David argued, stopping at Kurt's name when he finally reached it. He took a deep breath and was about to press call when he heard Bradley speak again. He glanced up for a moment.
"Who needs to know what now?" Bradley had asked, using the question as a way to distract Dave and pry the phone out of his hands. David frowned as he made grabby hands towards the phone. Bradley studied his face carefully for a moment before speaking. "Is this about the prom queen?"
Dave's heart fell a little at the question, and especially at the condescending tone it was asked in. The people Dave had grown close with here knew about Kurt, although Dave never referred to him by his real name, they knew all about their past together. The majority of them had told him that even if Kurt would forgive him, nothing would happened, nothing could happen and that he should try to open himself up to other people.
"It's always been about him." Dave said sadly, making one last pathetic attempt to get his phone back before sighing in defeat. "It'll always be about him." Brad clapped Dave on the shoulder and gave him a good shake.
"Let's get you home and sobered up." Bradley offered, leading Dave towards the exit of the bar and getting him seated in the passenger's side of his car. Dave stared out the window with a scowl on his face. He was angry. He was finally brave enough to call Kurt, and his so called friend was refusing to let him do it.
"I know it hurts, Dave. And I know you're angry." Brad spoke calmly, stealing glances at David when his eyes weren't on the road. "But if this is something you truly want to do, then it shouldn't be something you suddenly decide in the middle of the night when you are smashed out of your mind. You should put some effort into it. If you want to get him, my little cub, you need to woo him."
David sighed, leaning his head against the window and enjoying the coolness he felt there.
When Dave woke up morning, Brad's words were still ringing in his head. The man was right. If he wanted to tell Kurt how he felt, he should put more effort into it than a phone call. Kurt deserved more than a sudden realization of feelings. He deserved an explanation. He deserved everything.
+1.
Dave wasn't overly popular or well known at Lima High. The only thing that people really knew about him was that he was the quiet transfer student who was the new linebacker for the football team, a position that once belonged to Nick Bryans. Which lead to another thing the student body knew about Dave, Nick hated him.
Nick didn't push him around or beat him up (Dave was much larger than Nick and even though he had sworn against violence, Nick didn't need to know that). That and the fact that the rest of the football team seemed to really like Dave, allowed him to breathe a little easier. However, Dave knew not to let his guard down because he knew that Nick was just waiting for something to use against Dave.
This was why David hadn't come out at his school yet. This was also why Nick being at Breadstix on Valentines night meant trouble for Dave.
Dave knew he was in trouble, knew that Monday at school would be hell. He didn't realize right away after he left Breadstix that night. He still too busy trying to nurse the heartbreak he was feeling. It wasn't until he had cried out all of the hurt that he realized how much trouble he was in. He was terrified to go to school Monday morning.
But Nick was smart, so it didn't happen on Monday morning, it didn't even happened on school grounds.
When David arrived at school on Monday, nothing seemed to have changed. It was almost as if Nick didn't even remember, or that maybe Nick didn't hate him as much as he thought, but he was wrong.
School had gone about as usual. It wasn't until after practice that day that David realized just how wrong he was.
Monday's practice also went as usual and once they finished the guys all headed down to a dinner down the street like usual since they were all famished.
Dave knew something was wrong when Nick and the rest of the 2nd line showed up. The atmosphere changed almost instantly. The hostility was potent, and it was eerily familiar to the atmosphere when he and the titans were about to kick the crap out of someone.
Dave knew he had to get out of there. And he tried. Quickly paying his bill before darting towards the door. He was about two steps outside when he felt himself being surrounded, then multiple pairs of strong arms grabbing him and pulling him into the alley behind the dinner.
Fear shot through his body before the first blow. Fear of the unknown, he didn't know when this would be over or if it would actually end. He was also afraid of himself. That there was once a time in his life when he was willing to do this to people as well. Had this been how they had all felt? Had Kurt? Did the emotional pain hurt even more than the physical pain for all of them as well?
He didn't know how long it had gone on for. He hadn't lost consciousness but he did his best to zone out of what was happening to him. He could hear the horrible names they were calling him with each blow but he wasn't able to defend himself. All his walls and his guards were down and he was completely vulnerable.
It was that venerability that gave him the courage to finally dial that number he had wanted to call so many times before. He had nothing left to lose at the moment, his dignity was gone and he needed Kurt.
Once the team had had their fill, they began to leave the alley, spitting out warnings to Dave before heading to their cars. Dave pulled himself closer to the wall, his entire body aching and he waited. He didn't want Kurt to enter into this because he knew Kurt was brave and strong and would fight back, but Dave didn't want Kurt to get hurt. So he waited till every single one of them was gone from the area before he dug his phone from his pocket and dialing Kurt's number.
"Hello?" His voice sounded exactly like he had imagined and for a moment it actually soothed the aches.
"K-Kurt?" It wasn't till Dave actually spoke that he realized he was crying. He heard a small gasp on the other end of the phone.
"David... Is everything okay?" Kurt's voice was full of concern. It filled David with a bit of warmth as he attempted to compose himself. The realization that he was crying made the tears begin to fall easier and before he was able to get another word out, he was sobbing.
"I... I need y-you. Kurt. Pl-please."
"David, you have to tell me what's wrong or what you need me to do." Kurt's voice was calm and clear but David couldn't answer. How was he supposed to explain what was happening when he couldn't even think straight. All David knew was that he was hurting in more ways the one and all he needed was Kurt.
"The Burger J-joint." Dave sobbed out. "Please just come get m-me. Please." David reached up to wipe away the tears that were running down his cheek and causing the cut to sting more.
"I'm on my way." And with that, the line went dead.
David wasn't sure how long he sat there; he knew it was much shorter than the beating had been.
He had been staring out into the parking lot when Kurt's car pulled up. Using his arm strength, he attempted to lift himself up off the ground with a pained grunt when he saw Kurt walking towards the restaurant entrance.
Upon hearing the noise, Kurt turned his attention towards the alley and rushed over. Gasping when he saw Dave, Kurt attempted to help the hurt boy stand up straight.
"What happened?" Kurt asked, once Dave was standing upright, needing only the wall to keep him there. Kurt rummaged in his bag for a small package of tissues and began dabbing at Dave's face.
"Karma." Dave offered with a small broken in forced laugh, attempting to lighten the mood and calm Kurt down with humor. He watched as Kurt's eyes flickered with confusion as he tried to figure out what David had said. When the realization donned on Kurt, the blue eyed boy frowned.
"Don't you dare say that David, nobody deserves this." Kurt grabbed him by the shoulders as he said this, trying to get David to listen to him. "Was it that boy at Breadstix?" Dave whimpered as he remembered that night and nodded. Kurt sighed and began dabbing at Dave's face again. Whispering comforting words and soothing noises as he brought David over to his car.
"Now be honest, do you need to think you need to go to the hospital?" Dave shook his head at the mention of the hospital. "Do you just want me to take you home?" Kurt asked as he unlocked his car doors and pulled the passenger side open.
"Oh god. My dad." Dave whimpered, the thought of having to explain what happened to his dad terrifying him. "I'm not…I-I can't." Dave stumbled over his words but Kurt luckily understood.
"Okay, alright." Kurt soothed, obviously trying to think of another option. "Okay. Can I bring you back to my house?" Dave frowned; he didn't know who he wanted to face less, Kurt's or his own father. "Please, David. I need to make sure you're okay." Kurt whispered, grasping his hand lightly as he attempted to convince him.
"Yea, okay." Dave replied, causing Kurt to sigh in relief before starting to help Dave into the car.
"You're gonna be alright." Kurt reminded him wiping another tear off of the scruffy cheek.
"Thank you…Kurt." Dave said quietly, hissing a little as he settled into his seat. Kurt glanced at him for a second, the concern was obvious on his face but Kurt had plastered on a smile as he pulled on a handle under David's seat until he was almost lying down. David reached out and grabbed his arm, causing Kurt to look up from what he was doing again, David held his gaze. "For coming. For forgiving me. For helping me. Everything."
Kurt stared at Dave long after he had finished talking, his fingers making their way to Dave's face and gently brushing some stray pieces of hair off of his battered face. David watched him carefully until Kurt suddenly pulled back. The larger boy was frozen with confusion for a moment. Had he done something wrong? His mind panicked for a moment, until he noticed he was being pulled towards Kurt. One of Kurt's soft hands cradling the back of his head, the other on his neck and suddenly he was pressed against Kurt's chest.
And for that moment, while Kurt held him there, nothing ached. His head wasn't pounding, and his ribs weren't throbbing. Even the dull ache in his heart, which he had just grown to ignore, seemed to calm with this touch.
He could hear Kurt's heart beat fluttering in his chest. Feel the rise and fall of his breathing. He could even finally put a finger on what Kurt smelt like, citrus and fresh cut grass.
"David, I'll always come." Kurt said quietly, as he loosened his grip and allowed Dave's head to fall away from his chest. His hand remained on the back of Dave's neck for a moment, his fingers drawing small circles on the back of it. A light and barely receptacle touch that meant a world of comfort to Dave. "Don't ever be afraid to call."
The end! I'm not sure how I feel about this. I just really wanted to write it and finish my first piece of Kurtofsky. I've just got a lot of feelings lol and I can't wait for tomorrow. Reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy.