Once upon a time AGAIN! My fanfic, My rules asshole. Anyway, There was a H.B.F.F named Dave. Dave was the average video gamer. He fapped with napkins and lotion in that exact order, Had a huge ass thick bush under his neck, And he LOVED video games. Everyday he WISHED he was in a specific video game, And you ALL know what that is. Exactly. ASS ERRECTT- I mean Mass Effect. Dave was in love with Liara, And he played a male character named ...Adrian Shepard. Whenever Liara appeared on the screen, He wanted to lower his pants and ram the television with his one-inch rod. Multiple televisions had to be bought due to what appeared to be spilled milk over the audio receptors.
One fateful day, Our betabeard stumbled across a old man. The old man was on crack cocaine, and 48 doses of marijuana all at the same time. As a neckbeard, He prided to trust creepy old men hiding in yo' house corner for that daily hookup of vidya game. The old man one day hooked him up with a mysterious green glowing xbox. ...You may ask "HOW THE HELL DID A OLD MAN GET A XBOX?!" I'm not answering that, Fanfiction logic. If that girl who made My Immortal can do it, Then IIII can do it. Anyweh.
Dave humbly took the age-old Xbox and held it up like a shield. "This is great! Mah very first XBOX! I'm a PC gamer -masterrace- but I wanted to waste an extra 60 dollars for the exact thing but on the console! I'm such a genius!" Dave's breath stank so bad that the Old Man quarantined himself in a radiation suit airlined with frebreeze and fresh mints. Dave ran to his shop, The old man yelling after him. "GET YO STANKASS SUM GUM AND SHIT, YOU GOTTA STAY FRESH IN DEEZ STREETS, YA' FEEL ME!" Dave yelled back "I do not like to feel old men!" The old man sighed. "White people."
Dave plugged in his Xbox with the help of his trusty ZABOW lazer -in reality it was a screwdriver- and started Mass Effect. "AWW YISSSSSSSS!" It's official. This game turned Dave full faggot-mode. When he got to the create-a-character screen, Dave suddenly got sucked in. Because that's how physics work and shit.
End of chapter 1.