A/N: So, here is a little snippet for Thanksgiving. And yes I know it's late, but it was my holiday too (it was also my niece and most awesome beta's birthday! Hope you had a happy one sweetie!). My family ran me ragged. No sleep until the turkey made me pass out and then the next thing I know I'm being dragged around from store to store - which wasn't too bad until we got to K-Mart. K-Mart sucked. I don't think I will ever go there for a Black Friday again – I don't care how cute their pjs are! Now some of you know that I've been trying to write at least one story for each pairing and am trying not to repeat until I do, but the only guy who could work for this was our favorite potion master. I had a reader say they loved my stories but Snarry creeped them out – so I just want to apologize to you in advance, wherever you are.
Beta: FirstLaugh-LastTears
Warnings: SLASH (but only a wittle)
Page break - time jump or pov change - its usually obvious
On this the twenty-third of November, something rather unusual was going on at Hogwarts. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were dueling. While this in itself was not an unheard of occurrence, what happened next was something that had never happened before. Draco threw a curse at Harry. Instead of killing him or maiming him, as many of the students watching from the sidelines expected, it turned him into a turkey.
"What the fuck Malfoy?!" Ron shouted, enraged. "Why'd you turn Harry into a turkey?"
"Thought I'd send him off to America. It's their Thanksgiving holiday over there," Malfoy drawled with a sneer, "and guess what the main course is? Turkey."
Draco leapt at the turkey, who scuttled away, causing him to crash into Ron. Before he got off, Draco snuck in a kiss. Ron spluttered but, strangely, did not object.
Back to our hero, who was running around Hogwarts like a chicken with its head cut off. Or, rather, a turkey with angst issues.
"Yo Goyle, you see that?"
"I do indeed Crabbe. What the hell is a turkey doing running around Hogwarts?"
"Who knows? Let's catch it!"
Harry let out a rather undignified squawk, which caused several of the girls nearby to "ahhh!" Like I said a very cute turkey indeed. He turned tail (literally) and ran. Crabbe and Goyle followed quickly behind him, occasionally tripping over their own feet, and sometimes, each other. Harry wasn't paying attention to where he was going and they all ended up in the dungeons. The two Slytherins, knowing the layout of said dinky underground chambers that reek of death, managed to corner him. They were just about to swoop in for the capture when a cold voice interrupted, sending shivers down the spines of the two teens and one turkey.
"Why, pray tell, are you two torturing poultry?"
The two large muscle men gave very out of character girlish squeals and ran away.
Severus sighed, swept over to the cowering future feather pillow, and scooped him up. Harry, thinking he would be crushed or killed on sight, was surprised to find that Snape's hold on him was rather gentle, as if afraid of hurting him. He felt his long-time crush on the morose and greasy potion master warm his insides. He rubbed his beak against the man's chest contentedly.
Severus glanced down sharply at the turkey. He was unused to touching, and this…creature, seemed almost desperate for contact – with him! The muscles on his face ached, he reached a hand up to massage away the pain and found that he was smiling.
The Wizarding World was in a panic. Harry Potter had been missing for almost a month. No one knew about the turkey thing. Dumbledore hadn't thought the spell was strong enough to last more than an hour, so hadn't shared that knowledge with the public. In this case however, Dumbles was very wrong. The spell had never worn off, because Draco (who hadn't bothered to tell anyone for obvious reasons) had added an everlasting charm to the spell. Meaning that Harry would live as a turkey for the rest of his life. Ron has assumed the same as Dumbledore, and was distracted from thinking about anything too much by his new boyfriend, Draco.
Snape, who tuned out the conversation whenever the little troublemaker was mentioned, didn't realize that the time of Harry's disappearance coincided with the subsequent appearance of his precious wittle turkey-poo. Who was now residing under the name of "Cuddly Britches" because he cuddled Severus every chance he got and insisted on wearing a pair of Snape's boxers around his rooms. (A/N: I wonder if anyone's noticed the pattern yet…)
After the first few days of barely attempting, Severus had given up the search for the bird's owners. Even if owners had come forward, he doubted his ability to give up his new found friend. It hadn't taken him long to grow attached to it. It cuddled him, followed him around everywhere he went, seemed to actually listen when he talked, slept with him, and grew agitated when he left it alone for too long.
It was almost like he was married.
Harry wasn't sure what to make of his life as it was now. It was a lot stranger than normal, but in some ways, happier. He got to be with Snape every day, got to touch him as much as he wanted. But, his affections couldn't be returned because the man he loved thought he was a turkey! He had discovered that he could do wandless magic while in this form, but nothing he tried to regain his human form had worked.
Harry had, of course, considered letting Severus know who he was. Every time he got up the courage to confess however, he would quickly chicken (no bad pun intended) out. If Snape found out who he was… he would hate him, possibly more so than before. He would never talk to Harry again, and would in fact avoid him as much as possible. The very thought made Harry want to burst into tears. His crush had developed into love.
Over the past two months he had realized that Severus wasn't really mean, just sad and lonely. He wanted to fix that. He wanted to be with him.
Harry knew, logically, that he couldn't remain a turkey forever. Well, he could. In fact, he was sorely tempted. If he stayed in this form, he wouldn't have to face Voldemort, he wouldn't have to go back to his relatives, he wouldn't have to listen to Ron moon over Draco, or Hermione moon over Ginny, or Ginny moon over herself. His life would be so much simpler, and best of all, he would be with Snape.
As much as he wanted that though, he couldn't have it. Without him, Voldemort would go on, undefeated, to slaughter millions of innocent people. He couldn't allow that to happen.
Severus walked through the castle, slowly. He still couldn't believe it. All this time, all the fear, and something so simple ended it just like that. Old age, fatty foods, and no exercise. Who knew?
He needed to report to Dumbledore, but right now he needed something. He was in shock, and he needed comfort in the form of his will-never-be-eaten poultry. He strode to his rooms, his steps quickening with purpose, his robes billowing out behind him. He mumbled the password to the portrait of a cobra wrapped around a bunny rabbit. When it opened he walked straight over to the couch where Cuddly was sitting contentedly in front of the fire place.
Snape pulled the somewhat startled bird into his arms, and sank to the floor. He buried his face in the soft feathers. "The Dark Lord," he mumbled softly, still somewhat disbelieving. "The Dark Lord is dead. Heart attack."
Harry stiffened in shock. No way. It was too easy, wasn't it? There was no way that something could go right in the horribly messed up life that belonged to Harry Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Irritating-To-Pretty-Much-Everybody Potter.
Could it be? He pulled back his neck to look at Severus. The truth was glowing in his eyes. There was something there he had never seen before – hope. He rubbed his beak against Snape's cheek. Now he could be with the one he loved.
The Wizarding World was celebrating. The man they had feared for so long was dead. They could finally breathe easy again. Few wondered about The-Boy-Who-Lived. Had he somehow been responsible for The Dark Lord's demise? Or had the most feared man of their time really been defeated by something as simple as a heart attack?
Some wrote him off as dead. Another victim of Voldemort's reign, he got away once, but couldn't escape forever. Some of those who had doubted his character decided that he had simply run away and got lucky when Voldemort kicked the bucket. To be honest, not many cared either way.
An entire year passed, barely noticed by Severus or his turkey companion. They were happy in each other's company, and couldn't have cared less about the rest of the world. Alas, their happiness was about to be disrupted…
"Snape? Why is that turkey following you?" Draco asked quietly, his face pale.
"Oh, you mean Cuddly B? I found him about a year and a half ago, been with me ever since. Not really sure why he follows me, but he's never indicated that he wanted to leave."
Ron gasped, "Oh my god, could it really be? After all this time? Draco how could you!?"
"I-I didn't know! I thought he would've found a way to turn back by now! I swear I didn't know!"
"I don't believe you! You always hated him. But how could you do this to me?"
"Please believe me. I swear I had no idea!"
"What the fuck are you two talking about? Turn who back to what?" Severus snapped, his patience reaching its end.
"Harry Potter. I turned him into a turkey awhile back. I put an everlast charm on it. But I was told it was easy to break!" Draco cried, still gazing at Ron with pleading eyes.
"Then why hasn't he managed it yet?" Ron roared back.
"I don't know!"
"Wait. Are you two telling me that this turkey, my turkey, is Golden Boy Harry Potter?" Snape interrupted quietly, staring at the bird.
The turkey looked back fearfully, huddled against the wall. He closed his eyes. He hadn't wanted Severus to find out this way. Harry hadn't wanted him to find out at all. Why did they have to ruin things?
"It has to be." Ron glared at Draco. "Change him back, now."
"I can't. He has to break it himself."
"How?" Ron roared. "Fucking how?"
"I don't know! I didn't think it was important for me to know!"
"You'd better find out or our fucking relationship is over forever!"
Without another word Snape stalked out of the room. Neither man noticed, nor did they see the turkey go chasing after him.
Wandlessly (obviously) Harry sent a stunner at Severus. He fell over with a small thud. He rubbed his beak against the man's cheek. Trying hopelessly to convey everything he felt for him, how thankful he was to be a part of his life. He pressed the tip of his beak to the man's still lips, small tears leaking from his beady bird eyes.
Snape watched with no small amount of shock as his beautiful turkey, his only friend, shifted. The feathers blurred, forming human features, human skin. That countenance, once so hated for resembling his enemy, with the eyes of his former friend, was now a welcome sight. He found himself tracing the features with his eyes, almost fondly.
Despite their shared, spiteful past, this was still his most faithful and trusted companion. He found that the distrust and suspicion he had felt when first learning that his friend was in fact his enemy in disguise, was gone. It was a thin line between love and hate. Somewhere between caring for the turkey, learning of the boy's disappearance, and solving the mystery; Severus had crossed that line.
He realized with a small start that he was no longer stunned. The spell must've worn off with the transformation. He stretched his arm up and caressed the boy's cheek.
Harry's eyes widened in surprised. He laid his hand over Snape's, feeling human skin for the first time in over a year. He smiled. "I love you. I always have."
"I love you too, Cuddly Britches."
The End
A/N: Happy Turkey Day! Review or I will put a curse on you that will make all the food you eat on all future Thanksgivings taste like peas.
First person to figure out the pattern I mentioned in the mid-story author note and tell me about it (obviously or how else will I know you did?) gets to pick the next pairing I write about and be featured in the story!
Update! Crack Version is up! I am fast! Muahahaha! Title is Harkey The Crack Turkey, check my profile for it.