I regret that I own absolutely nothing, at least where Harry Potter is concerned.

To clarify where I will take this story: First instalment was God Save the Queen (a shameless way to test if you liked my AU). Unforgiven Love is Part II. There will be a much, much longer Part III that will begin after the events of DH. And Snape lives. Yes!

Chapter One

And if I only could

I'd make a deal with God

And I'd get him to swap our places

(Kate Bush, Running Up That Hill)

September, 5th, 1976

"The very first week of term, Dumbledore!"

"Yes, they're a little wild-"

"A little?" she spurted.

"But they're not malicious," Dumbeldore said.

"Sirius Black is much too hot-headed. We can't tolerate-"

"Yes, Minerva," he hastened to say – but he seemed more inclined to say it to silence and sooth her than to really agree with her.

"Do you know they call themselves the Marauders now?" The way he said it, it was as if the name was humorous and innocuous enough to prove his point. "Remus Lupin is a Prefect since last year. I'm sure you can count on him to temper his friends' excess of enthusiasm."

"They can be as enthusiastic as they want when their studies are concerned," she answered tartly. "I don't know what you let Botherington do last year, but they seem to think that school rules don't concern them any more. And the rest of my House are hardly better!"

"Ah! But you're a difficult witch to replace." She glared, letting him know he would not get away with flattery. Dumbledore coughed, uncomfortable. "Botherington may have been a little too old for the responsibility. A slight error of judgement."

Her eyebrows reached her hairline. A little too old… Downright senile, yes! Professor Botherington had retired the first time before Minerva's own mother attended Hogwarts! How and why Dumbledore had persuaded him to return to teaching was a mystery. He must have been quite desperate last year to find anyone willing to become DADA teacher to offer at the same time the position of Head of House.

"We'll be lucky if Bertram Aubrey's parents don't register a formal complaint with the Board of Governors."

"They won't." The Headmaster's look was much too innocent to be genuine, but she did not doubt him.

"I think I should at least contact Black's and Potter's parents."

She did not really expect Dumbledore to support any kind of drastic disciplining but she was surprised of his defence of Sirius Black.

Here was a fragile boy, he insisted, the first Gryffindor in countless generations in the House of Black. He had a hard time at home about it, and Minerva was not to add to his troubles with rash moves outside of Hogwarts.

Orion and Walburga Black had raised a scandal when Sirius was sorted in Gryffindor, he reminded her, even going so far as to demand that their son was Sorted again. They calmed down only because Phineas Nigellus Black admonished them from his portrait not to be ridiculous – Hogwarts tradition forbids re-Sorting.

Then, they turned against the Potters, accusing them of perverting their son's mind with their revolutionary opinions through his friendship with James. It was quite ridiculous too, of course. The boys seldom met before Hogwarts, only at the largest family gatherings.

Dumbledore was positive the Blacks financed Voldemort and were putting pressure on their sons – if not to enrol in the Death Eaters, at least to support and side with them. He hoped Sirius would be able to hold out against family opposition better than the easily influenced Regulus and that, being the Heir, he would be able to set a new tradition in the Family one day.

Truthfully, Minerva was worrying too. Sirius Black had changed during her absence, and not for the best. He seemed to be on a very dangerous trend of restlessness and rebellion, and she did not know how to curb his callousness – not when most of Gryffindor House and of the girls fawned on him.

He also had such a way to smile and to say droll things in amend that made her smile even when he exasperated her, and she always found it hard to find how to properly chastise him. It was near impossible to convince him to follow more worthy goals than playing less-than-funny pranks. He would never take what she said seriously.

§§§

"I told you it was too good to be true." James Potter was fuming.

"You've got it bad, James," taunted friendly Sirius Black.

James flushed but answered in kind."You can speak! I saw you eyeing Evans' tits too." He good-naturedly fisted Sirius in the shoulder to emphasize his point.

"I can appreciate good things when I see them." Black waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "But there are so many witches out there for me, I could never settle for just one. Evans is all yours. Or at least she should be."

Potter's anger flamed again. "He must have given her a potion or something. A Dark spell… The slimy git! She wouldn't go to him like that. Not after he called her a mudblood to her face." He pulled at his hair in frustration. "You've seen it like me, yes? She refused to even look at him when he went crawling before our door last year... And when Mary and Marlene told her it was her responsibility to make him leave, she sent him packing soon enough." He insisted, "He must have cursed her during the holidays."

"Of course, he's cursed her!" proclaimed Black. "He's a ruddy Slytherin! A bad lot all over. She can't stand him by day, she wouldn't come willingly to him by night."

Sorry that he had told them, Remus Lupin tried to interrupt the flow. "It wasn't that bad. I just happened on them speaking during my rounds... Only speaking."

"But she wasn't taking points from him!"

"Just like I didn't take points from you when I found you on your way back from the kitchen."

"Eh! We shared with you," reminded Peter. "You wouldn't do that to your friends."

"Wouldn't I?" asked Remus, a little crossly. He was a Prefect but his friends just took it as a good joke.

"No, you wouldn't," said Sirius with authority. Remus looked up a little uncertainly and his friend poked him gently. "You like treacle tart too much for that."

Remus smiled, relieved. "Alas! You're right."

James Potter interrupted them. "It's all very well, but we've got to teach Snape a lesson."

"Too right!" approved Sirius.

Remus whined. "James! It's only the first week of term!"

James crossed his arms. "All the more reason to make him understand as soon as possible."

Remus stared stubbornly. "You've already got double detention for Aubrey."

"I see," said James. "Mr Prefect is afraid for his reputation."

Peter could not stand tension, even if he knew that in a battle of will, Remus would always yield in the end to James or Sirius. He said genially, "We could always try The Map."

Sirius and James brightened and, looking at each other, grinned wickedly.

"Now, that's talking!"

"Wormtail! You're a genius!"

Old Botherington had given them full marks for their project on the use of Homonculus Charms in Defence, tittering all the time that "Headmaster Dippet" would not like such a "naughty, naughty thing" as their map… But the senile wizard had forgotten all about it, as expected – just like he had forgotten for good to return to the school after a Hogsmeade week-end.

Remus rolled his eyes. Here we go again.

§§§

Two weeks into the term, Minerva McGonagall had fully settled back in her teacher's persona. People told her she was a born educator, and yes, she felt quite satisfied with herself. Her Gryffindors still took school rules a little too carelessly for her taste right now, but she had already begun to set the record straight.

It was so comfortable to be at Hogwarts again, pampered by the house elves instead of having to mind her magic because of the muggle neighbours – not to speak of having her very own chambers again. Her son and daughter in law had tried not to interfere too much with her habits, but nothing could change the fact that the house was theirs now.

She had never been cut to be a farmer's wife to begin with, or even a housewife, and she had been only too happy to contribute with her wages to pay hired hands. Thank God for Dougal's liberal mind and support! Staying at home worked for Molly, who ran her family like a private business, but it was definitely not her cup of tea.

She could not believe now that she had really been convinced two years ago that quitting Hogwarts would help. Dumbledore had been right to propose a sabbatical when he refused her outright demission. It had only been the distress and depression speaking, though she would have had to take a sabbatical anyway after Dougal's first chemio.

The constant challenge presented by the students was just what she needed to avoid wallowing in self-pity.

The remoteness of the school was no trouble for her. She knew that it was the main reason for staff turn-over. Few teachers committed in a long-term relationship stayed more than a few years: spouses had to make themselves invisible and when their children also happened to be students, they could not visit or even acknowledge their parents publicly. It was hard on family life, and most could not accept it for long.

But Minerva had no family impatiently waiting for her every evening now – and certainly no intention to ever remarry. She still got cold sweat at finding herself alone with men, but at least she did not wince any more at certain students' name – those whose parents she had to... face in the course of the war.

Her own children needed her just occasionally to baby-sit and she could always Apparate home for a nice family "church and lunch" on Sundays when she missed them. She could also Floo to the Burrow any time either Molly or herself needed moral support and a little pick me up.

So, no, she did not feel lonely. She hardly thought about her late husband during the day, even if she still woke up regularly expecting to find him at her side.

Life as the new Deputy Headmistress was good, because it carried even greater responsibilities than being only Head of House – and even if it mostly meant doing the jobs Dumbledore did not like or that he was too careless to do. She needed to be busy.

She soon had more than her fill of it, when an information transpired in the school and struck the students' and teachers' imagination alike: Sirius Black, the "handsome bad boy" of Gryffindor, had run away from home during the summer break and never returned.

Apparently, he had just packed and left after he happened on his mother discussing him with relatives and calling him a disappointment and a disgrace.

He was later heard of at the Potters but his parents refused to get him back, saying he would soon be of age and the Potters were welcome to him. They even instigated a procedure to disinherit him to the profit of Regulus.

Sirius consoled himself by repeating that he was "free at last to make my own choices", but it hurt – Oh! It hurt. He had always known that his parents considered him like an asset to the family rather than a real, flesh and blood person. Now, he had the unavoidable, absolute proof that he always was a disposable asset and that they had never loved him.

When he had returned to Hogwarts, nobody guessed the truth. He was very much the same – in appearance. It was his brother Regulus who made it known, in a fit of pique after Sirius called him "Mama's boy."

Minerva worried herself sick over Sirius. Nothing in his education had prepared him to fend for himself. He had been reared to believe he owned the world and was prone to whims and tantrums. Now, the whims turned into a frantic search of immediate gratification with very little regard for others' feelings. He never had a very good opinion of girls, but he was quite busy getting consolation from every witch who felt sorry for him. His opinions had always been clear-cut but he was fast becoming even more intolerant and judgemental about everything that smacked of Pureblood values.

Minerva was sorry for him and tried to help him realise that career orientation was to be his next priority but she was far reaching the end of her patience. All Sirius deigned consider was that "with James, we have an idea to become Aurors" or "play professional Quidditch", or that he could rely on James' father to offer him a position in the family business.

She prayed that the Potters would offer a firm, guiding hand, but she strongly doubted it. They were over-indulgent parents with James, who was not a little spoilt himself. How could they be relied on to give limits to a bewildered teenager like Sirius Black, whose frustration generally erupted in fits of violent provocation? The Potters would more probably indulge Sirius even more, she thought bitterly – no doubt thinking they had to compensate for his parents' abandonment.

§§§

"Really, there's nothing to concern yourself about, Minerva. It's just a matter of his going back to work. He needs a little more time than his comrades to adjust to school routine, that's all."

Despite Horace Slughorn's assurance, she could not rid herself of the conviction that Mr Snape needed more than putting the summer break behind, and that there was much to be concerned with the teenager.

It was not normal for a student to be that nervous all the time.

It was not normal for him be so round shouldered that he always looked like he was bracing himself, expecting to be struck.

It was not normal to walk in such a twitchy manner that his hair was jumping around his face because it denoted for her the fear to be attacked – stopping and glancing around swiftly before hurrying to take the next few steps to what looked like a sheltered or protected position.

She unfortunately knew all there was to know about panic attacks and she had to send Severus Snape at least twice to Poppy after meeting him in a corridor pale, shaky and sweating– and he did not even protest. He just looked relieved and even grateful to see her.

"I don't understand," Poppy told her. "I'm sorry to say it but, honestly, the last time I've seen that was after Molly and you were ambushed."

She looked at her friend with worried eyes, trying to gauge the effect of her words.

Minerva gave her a bitter smile."Yes... That's how I recognised his problem. I remember how I was expecting Death Eaters to jump from every black corner. Severus Snape looks like he's expecting to be attacked all the time."

Poppy shook her head. "I don't want to stir trouble, but are you sure it's not again your four… How do they call themselves these days? Ah, yes! The Marauders…" Poppy's disgusted tone proved how little regard she had for the little gang. She liked them individually well enough, particularly Remus Lupin who was a sweet, courageous boy when they were alone… But when they banded together, the mischief those four could manage!

Minerva understood her very well. "I've wondered as well, but I haven't caught them at anything recently."

Poppy pursed her lips. "Oh, yeah? You've been sorely missed these last two years, you know. Rolanda hated Head of House duties and was just too happy to foist them on Botherington… Who had absolutely no authority on these four. He let them run wild… You can't imagine."

"I can imagine very well," she said tartly. "I have to deal with the result, and with the entire House, not just the four of them."

She was struck by a sudden thought. "Now you say it… They keep themselves to themselves and they look very smug, for no reason. They don't give me much trouble but… It's too good to be true." She straightened and added with resolve, "I'll keep a closer look, and ask Sir Nicholas to help." She sighed, "and for Severus Snape, what will you do?"

Poppy shrugged helplessly. "Calming draught, of course. I swear, that boy alone will have used more of it in his years here than all the other students put together."

She then bemoaned that a sixteen year old should not eat so little. Sure, they all tended to be either gangling or a little too fat at that stage of life, but even the thin ones did not push their food around their plate instead of eating it. Not for a whole month, as he had been doing since the beginning of term and with the dark rings under his eyes threatening to become as permanent a feature in his face as his distinctive nose.

"It's not a matter of not enough food this time," she insisted, as if Minerva would reproach her. "It's mental and that's the reason I can't do anything about it. I just hope it will stop soon enough, or he'll be doing permanent damage to his health."

They shared helpless looks. Severus Snape had never been happy at school to begin with, with so many things to set him apart. He had been a stunted, and Poppy suspected, an abused child. It gave him at times a frightened rabbit look that made him an obvious target in first year—until the Slytherins and Minerva's own Gryffindors discovered that he had a temper and the magical abilities to match it.

Minerva also remembered his total lack of manners when he arrived. It was so appalling that Lucius Malfoy, the acknowledged Prince of Slytherin, had enrolled the help of one of the most polished of Slytherin's polished purebloods – the kindest hearted too – Miss Narcissa Black herself, to try and teach the boy so that their House did not have to blush for him. There was one thing, though, that they had not been able to cure him of: his unusual friendship with the muggleborn Lily Evans. It was certainly what was most frowned upon by their respective House mates.

But since her absence, there had been a shifting in relationships, as it so often happens with teenagers. Mr Snape used to shadow Miss Evans during the previous years ("attached at the hip" Rolanda called them), but now they studiously ignored each other most of the time.

Their closeness had been one of the things that stirred the worst in the Marauders, who did not seem to realise where stood the limit between pranks and outward bullying. They had been forever taunting the pair and physically attacking the Slytherin boy.

The Snape-Evans friendship was apparently at an end, but had the Marauders really relented?

§§§

"Didn't I tell you to stop looking at Lily Evans, Snivellus?"

Suspended upside down once again, Severus Snape only glared, prudently saying nothing. They had caught him alone, while he was returning to the Slytherin Dungeon – and it ought to have been impossible, Disillusioned as he'd been.

He willed himself to stop panicking. To breath slowly. To not look at his wand, three meters away. A coward like Pettigrew who stood in the background was perfectly able to snap it – just because he could.

Severus hardly blinked. You do not blink in front of predators. You just prepare yourself for the attack.

He did not have to wait long. Even the Evil Four were not crazed and overconfident to the point of dragging it out.

Without warning, he was released from his own spell – he still did not know how they'd learned it. With an ease born of unfortunately frequent practice, he rolled to avoid banging his head or breaking a bone.

A foot crushed his chest, effectively clamping him to the ground.

"You've been a bad boy, Snivellus," sing-songed Sirius Black. "Sniffing around Evans like that. Tsk-tsk-tsk." Black smiled brightly at his friends and then back at Severus. "Maybe we shouldn't let you be a boy at all. Mmm? How would you like to be able to sing contralto? You'd leave decent girls alone." He pressed his foot harder, lower, drawing a pained gasp out of Severus. "We'd be sure there'd never be another waste of magic like you."

Severus did not flinch. He knew it was not a totally empty threat. The heir of the House of Black had always been entitled to every kind of indulgence and excuses, but he was a crackpot. Anger him enough, and he was perfectly capable to carry out any of the outrageous threats he liked to hurl in your face.

So, he concentrated on Potter. That one, you could count on to deliver, square and fair, and viciously, but he was at least able to think about consequences.

Sure enough, as soon as their eyes met, James Potter's handsome face twisted and he pushed his friend to take his place. "There's merit in what you say, Sirius."

The hesitant voice of Remus Lupin raised from behind. "James… You promised. No permanent damage… Yes? You just want him to stay away from Lily."

Potter rolled his eyes. Severus would have done the same, if he was not sure it would worsen the punishment to come.

"The voice of reason," snapped James Potter.

Severus knew enough to brace himself.

§§§

They slipped in their dorm, breathless and oh! So high on adrenaline. They had run all the way back after Peter caught a glimpse of light which could only be a ghost but as usual, they had made it.

The triumphant laugh died out on Sirius Black's lips as he found himself in front of a thoroughly incensed Professor McGonagall. Nearly Headless Nick hovered behind her, shaking his head out of alignement. He was a gentleman and there were things – cowardly things – which were unworthy of the House of Gryffindor.

§§§

It was all Snivellus' fault, after all.

Sirius watched James tighten his fists every time he opened the map and found the point called Severus Snape keeping company to the point called Lily Evans – which happened every evening since… Since they'd been caught.

Evans had run to the Infirmary as soon as she was told and she'd been shooting them disgusted looks whenever she passed by. She and Snivellus did not even hide any more.

Why James would torture himself about that little mud...

Sirius corrected himself: even anger wouldn't reduce him to the level of his parents.

She might be just a little tart, but if James wanted Lily Evans, he was going to have Lily Evans. Hopefully, things would get right again after that.

Unfortunately, they were grounded. Every evening they had to return to the common room immediately after dinner. Professor McGonagall had warned them that Sir Nicholas had special instructions to report immediately if they were not in their dorm at the appropriate time.

The ghost was apologetic, but relentless. He had given his word to a Professor, and a lady. The only thing he could do was make himself scarce on the full moon, the Headmaster's old order taking precedence over McGonagall's to keep Remus' secret.

Remus sulked, his Prefect badge suspended for a month. He refused to listen when Sirius tried one more time to make him understand that it was no one's fault but Snape's.

The fool marched away from him, grinding out, "Get stuffed!"

"Fine! Sulk all you want," he shouted to Remus' back, since he never turned. "See if I care!"

It was all Snivellus' fault!

Someone had to do something. And obviously, it'll have to be me, Sirius thought.

TBC