AN: So, I saw a rerun of 'Sunday' a little while ago and found myself crying all over again. I thought I was over it, apparently not. I miss my Carson and I wish he was back! A clone is great and all (better then nothing, and don't get me wrong I love the clone), but it's not really him you know? So thus this story was born.

Disclaimer:Haha… ha… yeah if I owned SGA Carson would be alive and well (and with me) and the show would not be getting cancelled. So, yeah, don't own it, never will.

Spoilers:There will be spoilers scattered all throughout this fic, I can't tell you exactly what episodes will be spoiled for sure except for a few and they are Sunday, Kindred Parts One and Two and Misbegotten.

Watching from the Sidelines

Carson watched, he had been watching for months… it felt like years, but so far he was unable to do a thing about it. He watched his funeral, the pain and sadness that scattered all throughout Atlantis for quite some time and he had to say he was flattered everyone liked him so much. But he wanted to intercept and talk to his friends, hell his family, so many times, tell them he was still here he wasn't dead.

That wasn't true though, he knew it by now. He was indeed dead, but he didn't go up to the next life or ascend or anything. He hung around, he didn't know why and he didn't get very far in figuring it out. Eventually he just gave up and accepted, after his initial acceptance he made it a habit of his to haunt the infirmary, it made sense. He helped every now and then, he eventually found out he could touch things, but not alter them, it was like everything weighed ten thousand pounds. He wished he could write things down or do something, maybe go find Rodney and make him figure out how to make him… not as ghost-ish anymore. But alas those kind of things were out of the question.

He did however learn that he could guide people, he supposed that would be the word to use, he helped Keller during surgery a few times. He helped the more inexperienced nurses stick their patients with the needles so they could find the vein on the first try. Small things like that. He wished he could do more, but all he could really do was watch and it was driving him crazy. There was, of course, enough drama in this place to keep him occupied, but walking around like this could only keep him busy for so long.

But things were getting more interesting, not in a good or funny way though, things were happening that he wished he could be around and helping for, but alas he couldn't. He was watching the Stargate from the balcony that overlooked the gate room, leaning heavily on the rail. He was waiting for his friends to return hopefully with Teyla alive and well, he didn't see her get captured but he knew what happened. He only accompanied them on three missions by following them in the jumper since his death, but he always came back, terrified of what would happen if he got stuck on some strange planet and they never came back so he could hitch a ride.

When he saw the 'gate light up he perked up from his slouched position. It wasn't until a couple minutes later he saw that Teyla was not with them, she wasn't hard to miss. He sighed and lowered his head, wishing he could do something to help, but when he glanced back up he did see them with someone who caught his attention and almost made him forget about Teyla, but that wasn't possible, the thought of where she was and what was happening to her constantly lingered in the back of his mind.

He followed the team in the observation room and with them stared down at the figure below them. He found that he was looking down at well… himself. He couldn't believe his eyes, he was ready to have a stroke but you can't really have a stroke if you're already dead, could you?

"It's just weird." Ronon said being the first one to speak for quite some time.

Carson scoffed, though no one could hear him. "You're tellin' me." With that he melted through the floor of the observation deck and down to the observation room below them. He found being a disembodied spirit had some up sides, he no longer had to worry about doors or Hazmat suits.

He walked over to the fraud and stared him in the face with confusion.

"I'm sorry about all this, Doctor." Keller said.

"He's not a Doctor." Carson mumbled.

"It's a'right." The impersonator said with a friendly smile. "I realize there's protocol when dealin' with someone who's been in prison for a long time. In fact, I wrote it."

"No, ya didn't." Carson whined wishing someone could hear him. "I did." With that he reappeared back in the observation deck with his friends, he just had to go down there and see it for himself once more for the millionth time. Over the past half hour or so he found he couldn't stay in one place for more then a minute. "Ya don't believe any o' this, do ya?"

He question was answered with silence.

He moaned and ran a hand through his hair in desperation, he was a little startled when John spoke and he jumped. He realized it was silly for someone in his position to be jumpy, but he couldn't help it. They must have been having a conversation while he was in the observation room; it seemed they were continuing with something.

"You're sure he's not a replicator?"

"The scans would have picked it up right away." Rodney replied just as baffled as John seemed.

"Then who the hell is he?" John persisted.

"I don't know I'm just as freaked out about this as you are."

"You don't really think it's him do you?" John asked quietly.

"No."

"Good," Carson said pacing behind them.

"Well I mean, maybe." The scientist finished.

Carson raised his brow and stomped over to him. "What's that now?"

"Look," Rodney began to explain and Carson crossed his arms, he was very interested in hearing what reasons his supposed friend had for believing the man down there could possibly be him. "So we've ruled out advanced robotics. That still leaves us a half a dozen other explanations."

"Like?" Ronon asked taking the words, or word, right out of Carson's mouth.

"Well, like alternate timeline, parallel universe, cloning… you know, take your pick."

John huffed. "Just another day in outer space."

Carson was first to notice the door open and Jennifer enter, her Hazmat helmet removed and she looked grim. That was never a good sign. "Well?" He asked, knowing full well she couldn't hear him, but it satisfied him to hear it.

"Well, we've completed the preliminary exam." Carson grinned slightly, it almost sounded like she had answered him.

"And?" Rodney asked.

"Every test we've run confirms it, that man down there is Doctor Carson Beckett."

Carson shook his head. "But it's not!" He stuttered and turned to face John; he hadn't remembered being so desperate for someone to hear him since this had first happened to him. "C'mon John, ya cannae believe this, I'm right here, in front o' your bloody face!"

They all remained silent for a few good seconds, glancing down at the man, who Carson still fully believed could not be him and then back at Keller. She seemed to not believe it herself if she wasn't looking at the test results in her hands.

That's when Carson decided that he would have to see for himself. Walking over so he could look over her shoulder and at the clip board he stared for a few good minutes, biting his tongue. When he was finished reading the paper several times his jaw went slack and he staggered backwards into the wall. He was thankful he could lean on things, if he couldn't he just knew he would collapse on the ground.

There had to of been something wrong, a test must have been wrong, something must have gotten mixed up… a machine must have been broken… But he knew none of that was possible, not for everything they did, all the tests they ran, he supervised and watched every one of them, and nothing went wrong. He didn't want to believe it, but it was confirmed, he saw it with his own eyes. That man standing below him in the scrubs, who had been in jail for almost two years… was him.

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