Title: Gay Porn Builds Character
Pairing: Rod/Nicky
Summary: Nicky wants to see what Rod does on the internet.
Warnings: Some content is a little sexually explicit, but the description is light, and I hope I don't offend anyone. (Although, I assume you've seen the musical, so you probably don't mind!)
Notes: As far as I know, the sites I've mentioned here don't exist - but you can try them if you're game! ^^
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Avenue Q or those who hold the copyright. The following work is the tribute of a fan, and I am not making any money out of it.

Chapter 1: Cute Gays and Neapolitan Ice-Cream

Nicky sat in the bedroom sighing after his latest fight with Rod. Nicky had left his shoes and socks in Rod's 'study', and following some heated arguing, Rod had stormed out of the room with a shriek of frustration. Nicky didn't get the big deal about Rod's study. It wasn't even a study, it was just the part of the bedroom where he kept his precious desktop computer. But Rod insisted on having his own space for it, which was the reason that the two men's beds had to be pushed so close together. Nicky didn't mind that, it was just the fact that Rod treated it like a separate room all to himself that bothered Nicky. It meant that Nicky had to keep all his stuff away from that corner of the room, even though way back when they'd discovered the leaky ceiling, the two had swapped beds and now Nicky slept in the dodgy spot nearest Rod's study.

Fiddling idly with the zipper of his hoodie, Nicky wiggled his toes and watched the funny movement with no real trace of interest. He was too distracted thinking of Rod and wondering whether he should try and make it up to him. After all, he had agreed way back when the two had first shared a dorm room, to always respect Rod's need for personal space and quiet time, and that agreement had been refreshed when they graduated college and started renting together. Every time Rod accused Nicky of breaking that trust, Nicky felt very uneasy. After all, Rod had kicked him out once before. Nicky hardly expected it to happen again, but then again, that first occurrence was the last thing he'd expected at the time . . .

Nicky let out his longest and loudest sigh yet, hoping that Rod would hear him from wherever else in the apartment he'd gone to. Clambering off the bed, Nicky collected his shoes from the different spots Rod had kicked them before. His left sock was still balled up inside his left shoe, but he had to do some searching before he finally discovered the right sock under the computer desk and realised it had barely moved.

With a little shake of his head, Nicky placed the offending shoes under his bed, and just to be extra-nice to Rod, threw his socks at the laundry hamper. He even made sure that they had landed in and not bounced off the side before he left the room to find his friend.

"Hey Rod? I'm sorry about before . . . I put my things away," he called, walking into the kitchen. Rod wasn't here. Bemused, Nicky grabbed a packaged tub of pudding from the fridge, pulled this morning's spoon from his hoodie pocket and started to eat the processed chocolate treat as he looked in the next room for Rod. He was nowhere to be seen, and didn't answer Nicky when he called out. So he'd gone outside. Nicky frowned at Rod's behaviour - there was no need for his friend to overreact over their little fight. (Then again, Rod had been a touch more tense ever since that bad break-up with Ricky a while back.)

All the same, Nicky didn't want to have to wonder where Rod was, so he walked out onto the doorstep perfectly barefoot. He checked the rooftop just in case, but couldn't see Rod. And after a few minutes of checking with the other residents of Avenue Q, Nicky still didn't know where his buddy had gone!

Back inside, Nicky began to feel worried. He hurried to the phone and checked the answering machine, just in case Rod had called within the few minutes that Nicky had been outside, but still Rod left him no signs. Nicky decided to call his cell phone. Nicky's own cell was rarely used save for playing Space Invaders - it wasn't often Nicky got to buy himself credit, so he was always using the home phone or borrowing Rod's. Today, of course, the former was his one option, so he picked up the receiver and dialled Rod's number. (Rod was not on their speed dial, since the two were always seen together unless Rod was at work.)

The phone rang endlessly and for a while Nicky thought Rod wasn't going to pick up. Maybe he'd left his phone on silent. Nicky contemplated hanging up, but only for a second - his concern for Rod far outweighed his lack of patience right now.

Finally the ringing stopped and Nicky heard Rod's voice. "Nicky? What do y--"

"Rod!" Nicky gushed over the top of whatever Rod had been saying. "Rod, where are you?"

"I--" Rod hesitated, perhaps surprised by Nicky's sudden enthusiasm. "I went to get a coffee," he said shortly, evidently still a little huffy. "I'm at the park."

Rod's tone reminded Nicky what he was supposed to be saying. Quickly swallowing his mouthful of pudding, he said, "I'm sorry, Rod, I didn't mean to upset ya before." There was no reply for a moment, only a slight fluctuation in reception quality mingling with the park's background noise. So Nicky continued: "I put my shoes and socks away . . . Can you come back home? Please?" Again, there was a pause. Nicky waited for a moment, hearing only the rustle of Rod presumably shifting on his park bench. " . . . Rod?" Nicky tried tentatively.

"Fine," Rod said heavily, and Nicky breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Great!" Nicky said perkily. "Uh, Rod . . . "

"What, Nicky?"

"D'you forgive me?"

"Yes, I forgive you," Rod said exasperatedly. "See you at home, Nicky."

"Wait, Rod! Can I use your computer to check my e-mails?" Since Rod seemed to be in a good mood again now, Nicky thought it would be reasonable to ask such a request.

"Yes, fine, but don't open any e-mails if you don't know who they're from!" Rod said snappily, but Nicky just smiled as they said their goodbyes, because the fact that Rod had even let him use the computer said so much more to Nicky than Rod's indignant tone of voice.

In the bedroom, Nicky chucked his now-empty pudding container on the floor . . . then thought better of that and put it in the wastepaper basket instead. Smiling proudly at his own consideration and still sucking pointlessly on his spoon, Nicky sat down at the computer and opened Internet Explorer. He logged Rod out of hotmail and signed himself in.

There was one from Kate Monster, which made him smile - they'd been corresponding back and forth through e-mail, having random and disconnected conversations about nothing, for almost a year now. Nicky looked forward to getting her e-mails because they talked about things, both silly and serious, that they just never brought up to each other offline. He deleted his other e-mails, all spam and junk, and checked Kate's.

Amidst an assorted bunch of in-jokes, Kate mentioned Rod. She wanted to know how he was doing, since he seemed down. Apart from being a little wound-up, Rod hadn't 'seemed down' to Nicky, so Nicky wasn't sure what to say in response. He logged out for now, wanting to put more thought into a reply later on.

Out of boredom he clicked the cursor in the address bar at the top of the page, interested to see what sites Rod visited most. Most of the urls that came up were long strings of numbers and letters that Nicky didn't care to try and comprehend, but a few were made up of words, so Nicky clicked on one of those at random.

He realised a page too late he'd clicked on "GayGermanDominatriXXX dot com", and before he could think to stop the page from loading his eyes were bombarded with images of leather-clad, boot-wearing, military-style half naked men with huge erections, staring unabashedly at Nicky from inside the screen. For half a second Nicky panicked; the natural reaction to have, he thought, when you were surprised by unexpected hardcore porn. But he didn't close the window at once, oddly compelled by the overt nature of the pictures. It was still a shocking sight, though. Was this really the kind of thing Rod looked at? The men in these photos carried whips and paddles, choking or gagging their tied up and helpless (yet still incredibly muscular and well-hung, he noticed) victims. Yeah, victims, that was what it looked like to Nicky! Shouldn't sex be about partnership, not control? Was this the kind of thing Rod had done with Ricky? . . . Perhaps a strange thing to think about, but Nicky really was curious. Gay sex was something he'd never really thought a lot about. He'd certainly never seen real images of the act.

Still feeling surprised at Rod's taste, Nicky clicked on Home and was taken back to Google. He drummed his fingers on the desk and wondered where the appeal was in sadomasochism. He'd known pain and sex went hand-in-hand for a lot of people, but never for him, and well, Rod? Rod was the kind of guy who'd have to blink back tears over a stubbed toe. Nicky had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that his friend of so many years was into bondage, either giving or receiving . . . And actually, Nicky wondered which. Would Rod have been the one with the power? Or would he have lain on his bed, those nights Nicky had slept on the couch, taking it from Ricky like a . . . like a . . .

Yeah, so that really wasn't something Nicky wanted to be thinking about. He wished he could attribute the tingling in his hands to shock, but now that that initial reaction had faded, all that was left was a burning curiosity to match his heated cheeks. (And Nicky had never been the blushing type - that was Rod's field.)

It was that (almost morbid, he felt - and yet innocent, he reassured himself) curiosity that led Nicky to take another look at Rod's past visited urls. Nicky clicked on "CuteGays4U dot com" and watched the "Enter Site" banner appear.

"Rod, you should really delete your history once in a while," Nicky tutted as if Rod were right there. The thought made him whirl around in the chair, but Rod was nowhere to be seen. All the same, he'd probably be home soon. Nicky only had a moment.

He turned back to the screen. Slim, toned, attractive guys in their twenties and thirties decorated the site, kissing and groping and locking eyes. This was more like it. Nicky could definitely approve of Rod looking at stuff like this. The companionship and mutual attraction between the guys in the pictures was evident, while the sex was still hot enough to - wait, hot? Yeah . . . Nicky supposed he approved of this site more than he'd care to admit.

He jumped when he heard the door open. Quickly closing the browser, he hurried to the shower so that Rod wouldn't catch him flushed and aroused. He knew from experience that that was humiliating for both of them.

"Nicky?" Rod called out. Nicky heard the rustle of plastic bags placed on the counter; had Rod been shopping?

"I'm just getting in the shower," Nicky called back, and subsequently heard Rod's footsteps near the door. With his hoddie and shirt hanging around his neck, Nicky opened the door a crack to peek out and see Rod.

"Well, good, you need one," Rod said, trying not to sound huffy.

"Did you go shopping?" Nicky enthused.

"Yes . . ."

"Did you buy ice-cream?"

"No--"

"Aww!"

"Nicky, you didn't even finish the last tub--"

"There's only strawberry left! I hate strawberry ice-cream," Nicky reasoned.

"Then stop asking me to buy Neapolitan!" Rod countered.

"Well, I like chocolate, and you like vanilla, so . . . It's a compromise!" Nicky said brightly, trying not to let this turn into another fight.

Rod sighed heavily. "Then next time . . . just tell me you want chocolate and vanilla!" With that he turned on his heel and made to storm off, but something stopped him and he turned back to look at Nicky. "Hurry up in the shower. I don't want you to use all the hot water."

"You know me!" Nicky said.

"Yes, yes that's the problem," Rod said with another sigh, and walked into their bedroom. Nicky watched him go for a second, then closed the door and finished undressing.

Man. It sure was a good thing Rod didn't question why Nicky's cheeks were so flushed, or ask to come in the room. Nicky was still a little turned on, although having had such an inane and familiar conversation had helped take his mind of that website for a second and get him to calm down.

But now that he was alone again, standing under the hot water beating down on his skin, Nicky couldn't help but think about it. It was almost just the thought of something different, he supposed, that was turning him on so much. He'd never seen gay porn before, so of course he was curious.

That made him feel a little better, but then he looked down at his erection and came to the conclusion that hormones didn't get curious. They just got hot.

He felt guilty and ashamed as he grabbed hold of himself and started jacking off, but those feelings didn't make him any less aroused.

Rod knocked on the door halfway through, and Nicky shuddered in pleasure and guilt, biting back a little moan. "Nicky! Hurry up in there - you've been ten minutes already!"

"Okay!" Nicky called back awkwardly, not trusting himself with a longer sentence. He could hear Rod walking away, but suddenly he imagined what would have happened if Rod had just walked in on him, butt-naked and soaked with his hand wrapped around his dick. He thought of Rod's reaction - the squeaky gasp, the deep blush, the stammering, wide eyes fixed on Nicky's shame - and that image sent him over the edge. He fell to his knees, opening his mouth in a silent cry, as he came all over the tiled shower wall.

After recovering and cleaning up, Nicky came out into the kitchen fully dressed and drying off his hair. Rod was sitting at the table reading the financial section of the paper, as usual. Nicky couldn't bring himself to make eye contact, so he just went for another pudding - those things sure were addictive!

He sat at the table with it and tried to think of something to talk about that didn't involve the sentence "So, gay German bondage porn, eh?" But then Rod spoke, and he didn't have to think of anything.

Lowering the newspaper, he offered it to Nicky. "Want to read?"

"The financial news?" Nicky asked, somewhat aghast.

Rod rolled his eyes. "You don't want to read the comics?"

"Oh! Sure!" Nicky said brightly, picking up the paper to find that Rod had already turned to the right page for him, knowing that Nicky could never find his own way around a newspaper. Nicky's heart warmed at the tiny show of consideration. "Thanks, Rod," he said sincerely, feeling comfortable enough now to turn around in his seat and look his roommate in the eye.

"Well, that's okay, Nicky," Rod said, sounding a little flustered, and breaking free of Nicky's gaze rather quickly. Nicky shrugged it off and went back to his comics and his pudding.

A minute later Nicky came into the bedroom to find Rod on the computer, evidently working. Nicky saw this as a good opportunity to ask Rod if something was up. After all, Kate thought he'd seemed down, and although Nicky didn't really see that he had, Kate had always been the intuitive one.

"Hey Rod," Nicky began, sitting down on the side of his bed.

"What, Nicky? I am trying to work," Rod complained.

"Kate mentioned you in her email," Nicky said up-front, hoping to catch Rod's interest before the conversation got shot down. It worked, Rod turned in the chair with a "Hmmm?" to see what Nicky had to say.

"Yeah," Nicky continued thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling as he drummed his palms on his knees, "she wanted to know how you were."

Rod sighed and turned back to the computer. "Busy!" he said, in a very final manner. Nicky raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but really, Rod . . . Are you okay lately?" He stared straight at Rod, who didn't look around, shoulders rigid. Boy, maybe he really was upset about something!

"Please, Nicky. I am trying to work - this is important!" Rod hissed out through gritted teeth.

"Okay, Rod," Nicky said, giving up and lying down on his bed. There was a short silence between them, marred only by the tap-tap-tap of Rod's fingers on the keyboard and the gentle robotic hum of the PC. Then a thought came to Nicky, and he couldn't help asking, "It's not Ricky, is it?" The sound of typing stopped; Rod's fingers froze above the keys. Nicky sat up, immediately curious at this reaction. "Why'd you guys break up, anyway?"

Rod turned around and gave him a look that withered him just a little. Had he gone too far?

"Nicky . . ." Rod began, warning signs flashing above his head. "I am fine. Leave - me - alone!"

Nicky got up to leave the room, hurt and defensive. "You don't sound fine," he muttered under his breath, slamming the door behind him to the sound of Rod's shrill cry of frustration.