I don't own anything but the plot.
It Was You: The Cat Stone
I hated Tuesdays. They were hell. It wasn't Monday, when your brain was numb and mostly oblivious to the monotony that was your life. You didn't just get off the weekend, still replaying the events of those two beautiful, restful days where you could forget yourself. It wasn't Wednesday, when you know that all you had to do was get through the day and you'd be over halfway through your hellish week. Just a few hours and there'd be only two days until you could forget again.
And I wanted to forget. I always wanted to forget. I needed to forget because you were destroying me. You were tearing me apart bit by bit and I couldn't let you go. You were there. Always there. At work, mostly. You were everywhere there. How could you not be? Only there, my pain, the event that dismantled my self, was celebrated. It was the greatest day they'd known. How could they be so cruel? So heartless?
But back to Tuesdays.
It was raining that particular Tuesday. I was sitting at my desk, typing up a report for some new super genius with ambitions to take over the world. Trite. Boring. My boss, Dr. Director, came up to me with an assignment. I had to track down a stupid robber. Not even one with superpowers or anything. Just a regular run-of-the-mill idiot in a ski mask. I mean, how must worst could it get? But I accepted the case without any zeal and headed out.
The rain was wet and cold against my skin as I walked back to the office, the robber in police custody. My head was filled with you. All you. You were my mind, my skin, my heart, my lungs, my eyes, my ears, my tongue, my words. You were my very soul. And I loved you then. I admit, I love you now. As I will always love you. But you were killing me. I couldn't live. And I couldn't breathe. The thought of you, of your life, of everything we went through.
I suddenly thought of your end. The day you just…stopped being you. I laughed bitterly at the irony. That was a Tuesday as well. Just a regular Tuesday. Nothing should have been momentous about it.
I was still a free agent then. Still part of Team Possible. Still living every girl's dream. Still lying to the world. And still able to hold you in my arms every night.
Wade gave me a call.
You were stealing something from somewhere. And I had stop you. Like a billion times before. Like it should have been a billion times more. Except Global Justice just had to step in. Dr. Director wanted to put an end to it. I didn't know what she meant. The police weren't supposed to hurt people. No. No, they were supposed to help them!
But they didn't help you. They did this to you! You weren't gonna…oh fuck…it wasn't your day to die! You were gonna get away! Like you did every other time. Like always. Then the shot rang out. Cold and deadly.
I was in shock. You stopped. Frozen. Your back arched and you gasped. Everyone fell silent. We waited. And we prayed. They prayed you'd fall. That you'd leave them and never darken their doorway again. I prayed you'd turn, smirk and run out the door.
An eternity later, one of those prayers was answered.
First, your suit turned an ugly brown. It dripped down your back. Down your left shoulder blade and then small of your back. You fell to your knees. And then you looked at me. Your beautiful pale skin looked paler but no less beautiful. You didn't smile at me. You didn't say any last words. You just looked at me. For a long moment. And you fell forward. Onto the cold, hard concrete floor.
I wanted to run to you. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to tell you that it would be alright. That we'd be alright. But I couldn't. Because I couldn't move. You held me in that spot until they went and gathered up your body. They loaded you onto a truck. And they took you away from me. But your blood stayed there. It stained that floor. And it stained me. I was never the same after that.
My musings were cut off when I saw a flash of black. Inky black. Dark silk. Like your beautiful ebony hair that I used to run my fingers through just before our time together was up. You said once that you loved that feeling more then anything in the world.
I followed the dark blur into an alley. It was a cat. A black cat. Just sitting there on a dumpster. Staring at me. Nothing out of the ordinary and I almost just turned and went on my way. But her eyes caught me. They were your eyes. Too dark to be normal cat eyes. Too deep to belong to a normal animal. She jumped off the dumpster and jogged down the alley. So I tailed it.
I followed that damn animal for a mile and a half. Right out of the city. Not that I really paid attention to my surroundings. That cat became my obsession. I didn't see anything but her. For that brief period, she was my salvation. The only thing that could tear my focus away from you. But really, she didn't do that. She just…redirected my view of you.
So she took me all the way into a grassy valley. Then she stopped. And I saw where we were. And I saw where she sat. She padded over to the polished stone, curled up and laid down like it was nothing. Like she did that everyday. Like it was her home. Maybe it was. She looked so comfortable lying there, just beneath your name.
She slept right on your grave and pulled me back to you. I didn't want to go back. That place was hell for me! It was the reminder that you weren't there! You were gone! Never coming back! You were never coming back! But still needed you! I always needed you…always.
I couldn't help it. For the first time. The first time ever. I cried for you. I dropped right to my knees and wept. I wept until my throat was raw and my eyes were burning and my cheeks were red and blotchy. I just couldn't stop! I couldn't.
The cat lifted her head and stared at me. Her deep jade eyes piercing right through me. And I saw you. You were there. In her eyes. Telling me you were sorry. Sorry for leaving. For leaving me alone. You were sorry for giving me hell. For taking me apart.
I still had tears streaming down my face when I turned my head up to the sky, letting the rain fall down over me, cleansing me. I took a deep breath and screamed. I screamed long and hard. Every ounce of my heartbreak and sorrow and pain and angst was thrown into that wail and I didn't want it to end. I needed to get rid of everything. Everything.
And then I felt her. She crawled over onto my lap and nuzzled my neck. Right where you used to. Your favorite part of me to kiss. And she licked me there. Gently. Begging for forgiveness.
My cry quieted and I turned down to the animal in my lap. She mewed softly. For a while, I could only stare at the feline. My mind went blank and for the first time in a long time, I was painless. No. That's not the right word. I still felt the pain. But for a second, I could breathe. I could take a breath and know that I would have the strength to take the next one. I was gonna be okay. I'd never forget you. And I'd never stop loving you. But my lungs could inhale on their own. I still needed you. I'll always need you. But I could live without you. Well, no. That's not true either. I could live for you. I'd live for us. Just as I'm still living for us.
We. You and me. Us. We have lived our lives together. Even if your physical body is no longer with me, we still live on. And I made sure everyone knew it. The only thing I have left to do is to find you. Just one more time. And we'll be together forever. Forever. Eventually. God, I hoped you waited for me. Please wait for me.
Fin
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